His message: "You look good in red." At the time, I was wearing my Target outfit, as I just came from work and was wearing a red shirt.
My message #1: "There's no excuse not to dream." Rather encouraging, I'd say.
Message #2: "If they can do it, you know you can." Few truer words have ever been spoken.
To conclude, my chocolate loves me. Does yours love you?
I was going to post Jakob Duehr 202, but I have decided to delay that blog as something else has been on my mind.
I have seen it posted on people's MySpaces and elsewhere that "Happy endings do exist." However, as I have come to think of it in my life and in the lives of others around me, I sort of believe that the term is relative. I think that one person's happy ending can be another's ultimate defeat. For instance, a wedding (or even a high school prom) can be the happy ending for the groom (guy) but the last defeat for a guy who really loved the bride/girl (and arguably was better for her).
This Wednesday on American Idol, someone will receive a happy ending in the form of the title and a recording contract. But what of those who have lost? Elliott Yamin has the vocal skills to net himself a record deal, but since he didn't win, will someone else's happy ending be his ultimate defeat?
In life, those of us who are believers in Christ find solace in the assurance that He is coming again some day to redeem us. But in that day of happy ending for us, even that marks the ultimate demise of those who did not make the choice that we did.
After thinking about this, I have concluded that I no longer wish to live for the happy endings in lives. They're too relative. Instead, I'd rather live to be The Best Jakob Money Can Buy. Endings are what they are. I can do my best at something and still lose. I can't really worry about all the end results but rather the road I took to get there.
I have come to the realization that though you might "know" me, you really don't know too much about me unless you have been in my circle of friends and confidants over the years. Therefore, I am beginning a new series of blogs to hopefully aid you in understanding me. This is the first blog in the series, titled JD 101: Introduction and Basic Information.
Personal Information
Birthdate: April 4, 1987
Hometown: Tinley Park, IL
Family: Father (Dan), Mother (Lynn), 17 year old sister (Heidi).
Educational History
Stone Church Christian Academy (1992-2001)
Tinley Park High School (2001-2005)
Olivet Nazarene University (2005-)
Work History
Super Target in Tinley Park (9/2005-current): Sales Floor Team Member
Favorites
NBA Team: Chicago Bulls
NFL Team: Seattle Seahawks
NHL Team: Ottawa Senators
MLB Teams: Chicago (AL and NL)
Movie: Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
Color: Blue
Number: 31
Car: My 2005 Chevrolet Cobalt
TV Show: American Idol
Activities
SCCA Basketball (1999-2001; MIP given in 2001)
Drama Team at Palos Bible Church (2001-2003); part of IFCA National Champion team in 2002
Class Officer (2002-2005)
NHS (2003-2005)
Newspaper (2003-2005)
Black belt in tae kwon do from 21st Century Martial Arts (1995-1998)
Piano player (1992-1998; still occasionally plays)
Well, that's just intro level stuff. Check out upcoming blogs to dig deeper into me.
Hey, it's that time again. I actually have a great deal on my mind, so if you'll bear with me, I hope it will be thought provoking.
Well, to start it off, there have been a couple of phrases that have been stuck in my head as of late. The first is "Optimal is imminent," more commonly stated as "The best is yet to come." I hear people saying that all the time, and I began to think if it was true or not. In my own life, in looking back to 2000 and 2003 (and to a lesser extent, 2004), I began to wonder if my best was behind me. In looking in the mirror, certainly my physique has seen better days. Or what if I am currently seeing the best days that I'll ever see? I was left pondering this for a couple days until I reached a conclusion.
These thoughts drew me to one conclusion: the best is behind us; the best is with us; and the best is ahead of us. I believe all our steps have been ordained before our time so that each day we are living in the optimal situation for our lives in our personal development. What, then, of the saying "The best is yet to come"? I came to this conclusion: I do not think that the statement fully grasps what people's true desires are. When they are making that statement, they are holding out hope that the "most appealing" is imminent in their lives. However, I do not believe that the "most appealing" is the best. There are trials in our lives that we must face in order to become the people whom we are called to be. Therefore, we have lived our best days, are currently living them, and will continue to live them until our time on earth is complete.
The second statement was actually a statement I made in an instant message conversation: "In due time, I'll take what's mine." I have actually received many questions about that phrase in the last week that I have used it as my away message. I have come to the conclusion that there are times in life that we need to be proactive in achieving our desires. However, I believe in such a thing as appropriate proactivity. Not all our desires can be or should be fulfilled immediately. There are externalities that should be taken into consideration before we act upon our own desires, because sometimes what we feel to be best for ourselves can cause undue harm or pain to another. I believe that our desires should be considered thoughtfully and prayerfully, then we should move when the time is right. Just like anyone else, I have desires for myself and for my life, and I know to fulfill these desires I need to be proactive. However, it's not the due time. When it is the due time, you can be sure I'll do what I can to take what I hope to be mine.
Well, that's been what I've had on my mind as of late. I hope I provoked thoughts within you and that it was a relatively interesting read.
The last time I wrote to you I wrote with a heavy heart. While my heart is still not fully healed (and most likely will never be), I am in a better state than I last was. Here is an update on my life.
I turned 19 on April 4th. I am amazed by the outpouring of well wishes given to me throughout the day. I was floored, as I am undeserving of such love and attention. You guys really did a great job of making it a great birthday.
Easter was today and an enjoyable experience. I was able to get to church this morning and it was a good time, though they did not sing as many traditional Easter songs as I would have liked. I got to see both sides of the family. I greatly overate and starting tomorrow I am beginning a diet/exercise regimen so I won't be the least-in-shape person in my house anymore, which will be hard since Dad, Mom, and Heidi are freaks of nature. Nonetheless, I shall try.
Only about two more weeks of school. I'm excited for my friends to come back for the summer. I know there's still much left to be done in the classroom, so I won't be overlooking it but instead will finish strong with an eye on the future.
I am still single. I have concluded that "The One" will not come from Tinley Park High School, or, barring a miracle, Olivet Nazarene University. This "One" will most likely come as a result of my camp pursuits or will be someone from somewhere unforseen. I anxiously await the day. Let me announce at this moment that I do not get afraid from empty internet threats from any girl's boyfriend, especially if the buttface has hurt her in the past.
I am always looking for more friends, so leave me one. I anxiously await it.
So, a couple days ago, I ran my mouth off in a blog as usual. I say whatever I feel like without any fear of repercussions. But never in my life have those words felt so trivial.
Yesterday, March 28, 2006, a lifelong friend was taken from us. Katie Prosapio was killed in a horrific car crash. Let me take some time to talk about our friendship and the person she was.
Katie and I met in preschool/Sunday School. Over the next fifteen years, we moved from acquaintances to friendly rivals (in the Spelling Bee and Math Olympics) to good friends. She always had an ear for listening. I remember specifically one night in 2000 where I talked to her over 5 hours straight about my obsession with Becky Jackson. She could've easily just hung up, but she was there for me.
As we graduated from SCCA and only got together at church and in the youth group, our friendship actually grew, as was the case with most of my Stone friends. We'd talk nearly everyday on the phone. I remember the period between 2002-2003 where her grandfather passed away and we were both in a depressive rebellious stage. We would talk for hours about all these things we were going to do, though we both knew that we'd never do those things. As the years went on since 2003, we spoke less as our lives moved in different directions, but we still were friends.
Katie had a knack for making people feel special. She called on my birthday every year since 2000. Next Tuesday's going to feel so empty. The last time we talked was on Super Bowl Sunday. She had remembered that I am a huge Seahawks fan, so she called at halftime to wish my team luck. I had no idea it would be the last time we'd ever talk. She even quit her job in the summer of 2004 to show loyalty to an old friend. That's the kind of person she was.
Katie taught me two things about life. One, it was alright for guys and girls to just be friends without any pressure of romance. It took me many years to figure that out. Also, she taught me how to follow after God's will wholeheartedly and never look back. The world's gotten a lot emptier, but heaven's gotten a fresh infusion.
To those of you who are still remaining and feel the same way as myself, never forget to love. Life is short. Love to live and live to love. Never let anyone slip through the cracks. You never want to miss out on one more chance. I apologize for not being as good as I could have been these last few years, but I thank God for giving me chances time after time after time. I love you all, and I know we'll be strong.
Hello, hello. It's been a while since I made public the thoughts in my mind, so I decided it was expedient to do so today in the form of a blog.
First things first, my 19th birthday is April 4th. Please shower me with love and affection on that day.
Now, on the matter at hand. In thinking about my successes and failures in the dating world, I have come to the realization that at this point in my life there are only between 3-5 people I could see myself being with, 3 for sure (I'm not saying there could be more in the future, but as for now, it's only this many). Unfortunately, one of them lives on the East Coast, one in Southern (though she'd probably say Central) Illinois, and one in the Northwest Suburbs of Chicago. To top it off, one (whose personality arguably completes mine best of the three) has a boyfriend whom I do not really know but I dislike anyways. Seems like a buttface, but who knows.
That is where I am at a dilemma. In any of these three situations, what do I do? It is not necessarily the best decision to make a long distance pursuit. What's more, at what cost am I willing to take a risk? Is it worth bringing uncomfortability to a friendship? This brings up the idea of selfishness. Is it selfish for me to act on my own desires if it possibly endangers another? Am I wrong in seeking personal fulfillment instead of enriching others? Do I sit back and make people feel better where most of the time I'm not feeling all that great about myself? These are the questions I must consider as I live each day of my life.
It has been brought to my attention that one of my greatest qualities is making "others feel comfortable". That is a good quality to have, I guess. That quality has sort of allowed me to serve as a buffer zone for some girls. After a rough breakup, they come to me for encouragement and rebuilding, all the while knowing that we are not meant to be, nor do I have a desire for us to be. As I encourage them and build them up, I help them get to a point where they are ready to move on with their lives. Once they do, I am discarded. I'm not saying that's a bad thing, nor am I bitter towards them. I'm just stating how it is. However, will there come a point where my well of comfortability and buffering will run dry?
These are the things I am considering in my life. Ultimately, it boils down to this. Is it alright for us to look out for ourselves, and if it is, what is the point of no return? How can we realize we have gone too far, and how can we get things under control after that.
No matter my choices, remember I still love you, and that your choices are no better or worse than mine. The places we'll go will be great, but we will need to endure the not-so-great places to soar above the rest.
Hello, hello. It's that time of year again. Supposedly some holiday's coming up? Meh, nobody told me. Actually, I'd rather choose not to celebrate it. Sit back and let me take you on a journey through my mind.
I have celebrated the 14th of Feb. twice in my life. In 1994, I made/gave Cassie a pin or barrette or something, and she gave me chocolate. Not a bad trade-off by any means. Sadly, she moved away months later. In 1997, I bought Amy a Beanie Baby. In return, I got a Reese's Peanut Butter Heart. Again, not too shabby. However, in the modern era (2000-present), I have not been so fortunate. In 2000, V-Day occurred two days before I met Becky, my first true crush. Meh, nothing came of it anyways. In '01, I was still seething from Becky's not being single and spent V-Day in self-pitying bitterness. In '02, I was lamenting Becky's sister Rachel's being taken. In '03, I was too busy attending to my website. However, a couple weeks later I would meet Mollie who eventually became my girlfriend of four weeks. In '04, I had difficulties escaping the whole stalker situation with Colleen and had to lay low so to speak. Last year, I was extremely ill on V-Day and decided to wait until Turnabout to try to advance things with a girl named Jamie from my study hall. Worst decision I ever made. From 2002-present, I have also tried to maintain a friendship/pursuit with a girl named Jessica, yet I have been unsuccesful all this time.
There are countless other awkward situations that would also contribute to my singularity; my relative lack of motivation in a public setting with females causes them to think I am a major buttface, so to speak. So, you know what I do instead? I find every girl whose e-mail address I know and send them virtual flowers. More likely than not they are single as well, so it's a little way to let them know someone cares. Some like them, others get freaked out, but it's my unorthodox way of showing my love.
I'm not sure how many more years I'll be doing "V-Day" this way. I could probably use a healthy portion of love. Maybe not, but I leave you with these lyrics:
You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
There must be an angel with a smile on her face,
When she thought up that I should be with you.
But it's time to face the truth,
I will never be with you.
Love always,
<3jakob<3
I write this to you with a heavy heart. After nearly a decade of being a fan, enduring countless mockery and ridicule, my beloved Seahawks made it to the big dance, Super Bowl XL. No, I never lived in Seattle. Yes, I am well aware that there are very few non-Seattle Seahawks fans. Any more questions? Anyways, for the most part, they played well in this game, but due to some questionable calls and some extremely *lucky* plays by Pittsburgh, the Seahawks fell just short. As the game wore down, I realized why I am a Seahawks fan.
See, the Seahawks and I have a lot in common. I too do not necessarily have the largest fan base, just those who live around me or are close to me. Just as their logo is unique, I am an extremely unorthodox individual. And like the Seahawks, I try my hardest, but I generally come up one step short, either by my own doing or by circumstances I can not control. I missed a full scholarship to ONU by one question on the ACT. At Trinity, I lost the Founder's by a questionable call. There have been many times in relationships where I am so close to what I want I can taste it, but that's as close as I'm going to get. So, what do the Seahawks and I do? Brush ourselves off, train harder, and give it our all next time around.
Hello, hello. You should know by now that we're about due for another blog. I don't have anything really deep to say but will touch on a few issues.
People affiliated with SCCA need to grow up.
What happened in November is in the past. No need for people to need to pick sides; no need to be rebellious and cause further division. Just put it to rest for the sake of the kids.
Seahawks 28-14 in Super Bowl XL
This is the day I've waited for since 1998. I've invested too much interest and money into merchandise to see them fall just short. Though, since I like them, they will probably do just that.
If I'm good enough to be your MySpace friend, allow me the decency to comment.
Seriously, if you didn't want me to talk to you, you shouldn't have accepted my friend request. Are you embarrassed of me? If any comments that I leave that are non-offensive get deleted, then I will just end our friendship then and there, MySpace and real life. If you deny me, then I will deny you.
For the 9th straight year, I will not be observing Valentine's Day.
I have no desire to waste time or money on a holiday that has absolutely no relevance to me. I have no desire to waste time or money on a female that will eventually have no relevance to me. I'm not bitter, am I?
Where was I at this time last year?
In Feb. '05, I lost Founders' Weekend at Trinity, got a horrendous cold, and got shot down at Turnabout at TPHS. Great month, huh?
Where will I be at this time next year?
Probably a bit more happy and subdued, without a beard, extremely focused on life and understanding people, and still with a lot of things that need to get laid to rest.
