2012 in Review

For the ninth year in a row, I am ending my year with a "Year in Review" post. It has become one of my favorite and longest-lasting traditions, as it gives me the opportunity to reflect on that which I accomplished over the past year. 2012 was certainly an interesting year. Per my usual, I will provide a month-by-month rundown of the year and will provide some thoughts at the end.

January: I began 2012 with the idea that I was going to run a marathon, and I took the necessary steps to get myself ready to do so. I had only been running for a couple weeks prior to making this decision, but I felt that my life would be more manageable and meaningful if I had a long-term goal to attack every day. It was something to occupy my thoughts and attention, especially when one of my jobs started to become less enjoyable.

February: I might have to keep a daily diary in 2013, because once again, I cannot think of anything particularly exciting or noteworthy from this February. I worked and I worked out. That's it.

March: Work and marathon training once again dominated the month. My sister and I did get to make a trip to Woodfield Mall, during which I got lost and drove nearly an hour too far north. Oops.

April: I celebrated my 25th birthday with more marathon training and a very busy work schedule between subbing and the learning center. At this point, I was really starting to feel burnt out, but I was so close to my goal, I simply could not let up. It was a good month, and it is always nice to be remembered on my birthday.

May: I culminated months of training by completing my first marathon. While the last six miles were miserable and I did not finish with the lofty goal time I had set for myself, I still accomplished something fairly impressive. My body paid the price for the rest of the month, and I was in a lot of pain while finishing up what would be my last month of substitute teaching.

June: To say that June was an eventful month would be an understatement. I began the month by rewarding myself for completing the marathon with a vacation to Seattle. The trip started off on the wrong foot as my luggage was taken. Eventually, it was returned, and I had a good (though lonely) trip and got the opportunity to see Rex, Zach, and Jon while I was there. I also got to tour the Seahawks' stadium and set foot on the field. At the end of the month, I finally had the opportunity to meet another friend in person after a number of near-misses. Though the time we spent was short, it meant a great deal to me to be able to have that time.

July: July was a challenge, plain and simple. From long double shifts at the learning center to warm temperatures to foot pain to a less than enjoyable trip to Charles Mound to scale Illinois' highest peak, July started to feel like Summer of Sorrow, Part II. At this time, I started to pursue other job opportunities and had a number of interviews with Examkrackers about heading up their Midwest program. There were some other things that did not go my way as well.

August: After receiving disappointing news from Examkrackers concerning the Regional Coordinator position I had interviewed for, I was very apprehensive about my future. Out of the blue came the opportunity to interview for a teaching position at an alternative school. By "out of the blue", I mean that this was a job I had applied for in summer of 2010. I was offered the position and accepted, ending a very long quest for a full time teaching job. While the work is challenging, it is a major step in the right direction. In addition to that, I took an enjoyable trip downtown with the family.

September: I started to get settled into my job, which at this point was working as a co-teacher in a classroom. My body finally got back to 100 percent, and I ran my best 5k time to date. Heidi and I also had another nice trip to Woodfield Mall.

October: Things transitioned at work. Instead of co-teaching a class, I finally had a class of my own. Though this meant my responsibilities increased, it was nice to be the one with all the authority in my own classroom.

November: As I have gotten older, I have liked November more and more. I don't really know why. It was a good month at work. I participated in No-Shave November. Thanksgiving was enjoyable, and I ran the Tinley Turkey trot and finished 69th out of 887 runners. I set goals, and I achieved them. I spent another Black Friday in the city, and while the weather was a bit chilly, it was still a good time.

December: I finally got to experience an NFL game at the stadium, as my dad and I went to Soldier Field to see the Seahawks face the Bears. Though I was in the vast minority as a Seahawks fan, the Bears fans were cordial to me, and I left the stadium happy after the Seahawks won in overtime. Though work was challenging and I got sick towards the end of the year, it was still a positive month.

I will probably always remember 2012 as the year I made things happen. I set a number of goals for myself and achieved them. I got rid of a number of bad habits along the way. Things got tough, and I did not do as my younger self would have done and rolled up into a ball. I took my hits, and hit back twice as hard. Things were never easy, but they got done.

One thing I will remember about 2012 is that I took care of my business with no one holding my hand. I had a support system at home and from scattered online friends, but I didn't get coddled through things. Of my four longest and closest friends, I saw them all a combined 3 times, none after July. I didn't really hear from them much, either. Younger Jakob would've shuddered at such a thought. This Jakob kept on trucking.

Was 2012 as enjoyable as 2011? Probably not. 2011 was full of amazing moments. But was 2012 a bad year? Absolutely not. 2011-2012 remind me a lot of 2007-2008. One year was full of enjoyable but ultimately meaningless moments, and the other was difficult yet highly productive.

After a year where I have done literally everything I wanted to do, I am left with one question: Where do I go from here? At this point, I honestly have no clue. I'll have to give it some thought and attack 2013 with the same ferocity that I attacked and defeated 2012. I can only wonder what 2013 will hold.

2012 in List Form

2012 was an interesting year. I am probably more obsessed with the Seahawks than at any point in my life, and I am probably farther away from pop culture now than at any other point in my life. It was not the great year for music that 2011 was, but it was still good. I actually found myself listening to more Indie/Folk Rock than Pop Punk. The year was pretty good for television, but nothing stood out one way or another, other than the end of House. The year was full of some monumental personal moments as well, as I finally accomplished some major goals. I am excited to share these moments with you.

As I posted last year, everything is ranked by my arbitrary personal preference. I don’t consider myself to be the preeminent source for any of these things, but I do like what I like. This just gives you a better glimpse into my personal pop culture

Albums
1. fun. – Some Nights
2. The Lumineers – Self-Titled
3. Capital Lights – Rhythm 'n' Moves
4. The Killers – Battle Born
5. Neon Trees – Picture Show
6. Anberlin - Vital
7. The Gaslight Anthem – Handwritten
8. Mumford & Sons – Babel
9. The Used – Vulnerable
10. Yellowcard – Southern Air

Songs
1. The Lumineers – Stubborn Love
2. fun. – We Are Young
3. Perfume Genius – Dark Parts
4. Capital Lights – Coldfront Heatstroke
5. Neon Trees - Still Young
6. Tim McMorris – Overwhelmed
7. The Gaslight Anthem – 45
8. Heroes for Hire – Heart Stops
9. Imagine Dragons – Radioactive
T10. Hit the Lights – Float Through Me
T10. Phil Phillips – Home

New Bands (to me)
1. The Lumineers
2. Imagine Dragons
3. Count Your Blessings
4. The Sun and the Sea
5. Tim McMorris
6. Her Bright Skies
7. Thrice
8. With the Punches
9. Perfume Genius
10. Eric Hutchinson

TV Shows
1. NCIS: Los Angeles
2. NCIS
3. Burn Notice
4. White Collar
5. Psych

Sports Moments
1. Russell Wilson leading the Seahawks to an OT win over the Bears (which I saw in person)
2. Seahawks' domination of the 49ers on Sunday Night Football
3. Seahawks' late game magic to defeat the Patriots
4. Seahawks 58, Cardinals 0
5. Dolph Ziggler winning Money in the Bank

Places to Eat
1. Granite City
2. Red Robin
3. The Grand Buffet
4. Noodles & Company
5. Fuddrucker’s

Classes to Teach
1. Mr. Duehr's 6th Grade class at AAA Academy

Websites
1. Facebook
2. My World, My Words
3. Jigzone
4. Sporcle
5. Yahoo! Sports

Personal Moments
1. Going to Bears/Seahawks, December 2
2. Finishing a Marathon, May 5
3. Getting hired for my first full time teaching up, August 23
4. Meeting a longtime friend, June 29
5. Portland with ZB and dinner with ZB and Jon, June 7
6. Summer trip into the city, August 18
7. Dinner with Rex, June 4
8. Touring CenturyLink Field, June 6
9. Trip to Michigan City, June 9
10. Black Friday in the city, November 23

Veni, vidi, vici.

This will be the first of three "End of 2012"-themed posts. It's been quite a year, and while I will get into greater detail later, it is time to assess how well I did in attacking my 2012 checklist. If any of this post reads like a HumbleBrag, that is not my intent. It is merely an evaluation and an indication of the effect of hard work on achieving goals.

Going into 2012, I had a number of goals. Most of them were posted in the 2012: Let NOTHING Stand in Your Way, but some were posted elsewhere. For the benefit of you, I'll re-post all my goals as well as the success I did or did not have in accomplishing them.

• Run at least 1000 miles over the course of the year.
Running replaced the elliptical as my preferred cardio workout. Though I had some foot problems for the majority of the summer, I was able to push through and achieve this goal. Of course, this goal was fairly easy because it went hand in hand with another goal. Goal Status: Mission accomplished.

• Run a marathon.
In January, I decided to accept the challenge of running a marathon, despite only having run for about a month before that. I liked the idea of a high-scale, long-term tangible goal that I was working towards every day. By May, I was ready to run a marathon. The last six miles were exponentially more difficult than the first twenty miles, but I completed a marathon. Goal Status: Mission accomplished.

• Continue work on getting the abdominal six pack.
I am very close to achieving this goal. This was more of a secondary goal than a primary goal. I am proud of the work I accomplished on this end as well as all of the physical goals for the year. Goal Status: In progress

• Become a more patient driver.
I still like to get to places when in my own time, but I have improved in my goal of feeling less frustrated whilst driving. Definitely a win. Goal Status: Mission accomplished.

• Figure out my professional life in the moderate-term.
I traded two part time teaching jobs for one full time teaching jobs. Is it where I imagined I'd be? No, but I don't have to sleep with the uncertainty of whether not I will be working the next day. Every day is an adventure, but I know what to expect. Goal Status: Mission accomplished.

• Take a vacation.
After running the marathon, I rewarded myself with a trip to Seattle, with a day spent in Portland, Oregon, as well. Though the trip had a rough start, it was nice to get away and see some friends. Goal Status: Mission accomplished.

• Meet Jannelle.
After three years, she was indisputably on the top of my "To Meet" list. It finally happened, and I am happy for that. Goal Status: Mission accomplished.

• Cut down on the use of social networking.
I no longer have a Twitter. I use Facebook primarily for messaging/posting mildly humorous daily observations (and largely stayed off the site during the entire election). My presence on Stickam has greatly diminished. Did what I set out to do. Goal Status: Mission accomplished.

• Expand my writing kingdom.
I did not accomplish this secondary goal. As busy as I have been with my classroom, I had to prioritize. Ultimately I would like to eventually get another site or two up and running, but that is a want and not a need. It will happen. Just give it time. Goal Status: In progress

I had a number of things I wanted to do this year. If you were to have asked me about them in January, I honestly would not have expected to accomplish all that I did. But if there's one thing I learned this year, it is that hard work breeds success, and success provides the impetus to keep working hard. It's a constant and sustainable cycle for positive results.

A Note to My 21 Year Old Self

A little while back, I watched a video of Dale Earnhardt, Jr. reading a reflective letter he had written to his younger self. I was very moved by it, and I really liked the idea. Though I am still a relatively young man, I believe that I have learned enough over the past number of years to do something similar for myself. However, I am not merely limiting myself to one letter. Over the next year or so, I will be writing a few of these letters to myself at different ages, allowing me to reflect on my life in smaller chunks. This is the first in the series.

Letter to Jakob Duehr: to be received November 14, 2008

Dear Jakob,

Right now you are feeling like you’re on top of the world. You deserve to feel that way, as you have accomplished some amazing things this year. You finally got your weight under control, you gained some confidence for the first time in your life, and as of today, you completed student teaching. For all intents and purposes, you are done with college. And you have managed to do all of this while flying under the radar, just the way you like it.

If you feel great now, the next period of your life will be even greater. You are really going to find yourself, especially when it comes to finding your hobbies and passions. There are going to be bands and television shows that you absolutely fall head over heels for. You are going to do some traveling with your closest friends, seeing places like Downtown Chicago, Detroit (which you will not be impressed with), Washington, D.C., and Florida. You’ll get to see a Royal Rumble (and, sorry to spoil it for you, but you’ll get to see Randy Orton win). Your newfound good looks and confidence will attract the attention of some people you failed to attract over the years. You and Stacie are going to start hanging out. You’re even going to go for coffee with a Jackson!

In addition to that vindication, you are about to meet two women who will occupy a good portion of your thoughts. They are two sides of the same coin. In many ways, both are exactly what you are looking for. You’ll be surprised with the early success that you will find with them, and you’ll be shocked at the lengths you’ll go to make things work.

To all this I have one thing to say: Enjoy it while it lasts.

The period of your life that follows will be the darkest period of your life. It will make 2005 seem like a walk in the park. As quickly as you rose to the top of your world, you will engage in an endless freefall.

Getting a job won’t be as easy as you thought. The economy is tanking, and you’re going to feel it. The jobs you will take won’t be anything like the dream job you’ve imagined, and they will be a long way away from your days at Richards. You will come close to getting a couple jobs, but you will fall just short. Your home district won’t even take you. You will work as a substitute teacher, engaging in daily struggles for respect both with your students and your peers. You will never know in advance whether or not you are working. You will learn to sleep with the phone by your pillow. You will also work at a learning center, teaching subjects and grade levels you never dreamed of teaching. Perhaps you could have avoided some of this by being more diligent in the job search, but maybe not. Prepare to be continually humbled.

Some days it will be a struggle just to wake up. In fact, there will be some days that you only get out of bed in order to see Buttons, your cat (you still love her dearly). Family will be good to you, but there will be tough times. If I told you about 2010, you wouldn’t want to go on. Your friends who have been by your side for life will gradually leave you in order to pursue adulthood and careers. You will feel alone, and you will not like it. You will spend more and more time online trying to fill the void, but you will come up empty.

Those two women I talked about earlier will cause you more grief than anything. For one reason or another, things will fail with both, and it will leave you heartbroken. Your trip to Florida will culminate in one of the worst days of your life. In fact, it was really the day that started this whole spiral. After a while, you’ll realize that the other young woman was really the one you’ve fallen for, despite her complications, and you will wholeheartedly pursue that. Sadly, it will often seem that you cannot rise above the complications, and it will leave you feeling like a loser. You will engage in a number of half-hearted pursuits that never really get anywhere because no one compares to her. Despite the complications, you will continue to believe that one day the two of you will have a happy ending.

This growing despair and burden of unreached potential will weigh on you, and it will catch up to every area of your life. You know that newfound body you’re so proud of? You will gain MORE THAN HALF of the weight back. You will step on the scale one day and be horrified to see that you weigh over 200 pounds.

Thankfully, this is not where the story ends. I am not writing this to you inside a padded room weighing 300 pounds. We will recover. We will succeed. But I say one thing to you.

It won’t be easy.

You are finally ready to not only take life’s best shots but strike back. You will engage in a serious diet and exercise regimen and lose all 35 of those pounds (in fewer than 2 months)! After making fun of your dad for years about his running, you will take up running yourself. You will run a full marathon after running for only five months. You will still see your friends every now and then. You will go to concerts and WWE shows and cherish the memories you do make. You’ll take a trip to Seattle and walk on Century Link Field (yeah, it changed its name). After another near miss with a job, you’ll actually nab that elusive full time job. That job will be a daily challenge, but you will have daily productivity and won’t have to sleep with the phone by your side. I wish I could tell you that life is easy, but that’s not the case. However, it is purposeful, and after how far we had fallen, that is nothing to look down upon.

If you’d allow me, I’d like to give you some words of advice.
• Keep an even keel. Enjoy the good times, but don’t get too high or too low. The bad times will come, and they will not be enjoyable in the slightest. Ride them out.
• Appreciate those who are there for you. Nobody HAS to help you. They do it because they want to. Don’t take that for granted.
• Listen to others. I know we often feel like we know best, but sometimes we don’t. Taking advice is not a sign of weakness.
• Don’t be so afraid of failing. We’ve failed a lot. We’ll fail some more. Deal with it. Be refined by it.

So, I don’t know how the story ends. There are a lot of unwritten chapters. All I know is it will be an adventure. It always is.

How I Survived (and even enjoyed) Pentecostal Youth Camp

One of the benefits of growing older is the ability to put distance from memories in order to view things from an objective perspective. After a while, the rose fades from the glasses. I am long enough removed from my time as a camper to recount my experiences objectively. It has been ten years since my first year of Senior High Camp at Lake Williamson (the happiest place on earth~!), and it seems only fair that I repay the place that provided me with so many memories with a thorough synopsis of my experiences during my years as a camper. I decided not to include anything from my time at Junior High Camp in 2001 or from my time as a counselor in 2006. This is strictly about my time at Senior High Camp.

I should probably get this clarified right away. Though this was called “Senior High Camp”, there was no camping involved whatsoever. Lake Williamson is more or less a resort, and all 800 of us were “roughing it” in air-conditioned rooms. Because I want this post to be as thorough as possible, I have every component of camp neatly organized by section. There were a number of people and things that comprised the camp experience, and each will get their due.

THE MAN AT THE TOP
There was a revolving door of speakers, counselors, and team captains, but “The Man” at camp was the District Youth Director. For my first three years, that position belonged to the venerable Ron Heitman. I have yet to meet someone with a disposition as kind or as peaceful as Ron. He was always accommodating and approachable, and he always made you feel like you were the most important person in the room. Put simply, he was a great guy and the perfect person for the job.

Between the camps of 2004 and 2005, Ron moved on to a different position, and his seat was filled by Jeff Kossack. I can’t say anything bad about Jeff as a person, and he was approachable as well. While Ron kind of had a folksy, old-fashioned way about him, Jeff was very cutting-edge and technology savvy. Under his watch, I felt a lot of things begin to change and get brought into the 21st Century. It is not my place to judge whether or not that was a good thing. Personally, I was in the “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” boat, but I both understand and respect his forward-thinking philosophies.

THE OTHER AUTHORITIES
In addition to the Director, there were a number of “Camp Legends” in positions of authority. I will never forget the booming voice of Phil Schneider, the Dean of Camp. He successfully mastered the art of being simultaneously jovial and menacing. Also in a position of authority was Jon Keck. I don’t recall what his exact position was, but I remember him reading out the mail and his enthusiastic announcement of TACO BOATS~!

The position of Activity Director was a two man job. The position was handled by my youth pastor, Doug Harris, and Brian Werner. They were kind of a Statler and Waldorf team, with witty one-liners sprinkled in with their commentary. Doug would name drop John Maxwell an awful lot during the activities, too. I still have no idea who that is…

THE SERVICES
This is the part where “surviving a Pentecostal youth camp” comes into play. The services were ridiculously long… even longer than this blog post (*rimshot*)! Services started out with some worship, and then they got down to action.

Though they differed from year to year due to the speaker, the services generally followed a basic skeletal shape (special thanks to Rob Dillman for his assistance with this section).

Monday: Fire & Brimstone. It was basically a “Get right with God now, or I hear that Hell is balmy this time of year.” It was the typical Pentecostal repentance sermon, complete with emotional altar call.
Tuesday: The Mixed Bag. This was pretty much the speaker’s only chance to deviate from the script. Sadly, I don’t remember anything memorable from a Tuesday service, other than that usually ended at a more reasonable time than the other services.
Wednesday: The Tongues Night. You can’t go to a Pentecostal youth camp without expecting a significant amount of time devoted to being filled with the Holy Spirit. If you do not come from a Pentecostal background, please read up on this if it interests you, because this post is already going to be lengthy enough without this explanation. What you need to know is that this service always went really long and had an extremely emotional altar call. This may be irreverent, but I always believed that this service intentionally went long because a cookout followed the service immediately thereafter. The long service gave the cafeteria staff sufficient time to grill enough burgers and hot dogs for approximately 1000 people.
Thursday: The Now Go Out and Live It Night. It is the last chance for the speaker to flex his muscle, as the Friday morning service was a serene communion service led by Ron. It is basically a summation of the previous three messages with an added emphasis on walking the walk outside the camp bubble.

When I said these services went long, I’m talking three hour minimum. The “Be Filled with the Holy Spirit Before We Fill Your Stomach” and “Now Go Out and Live It” nights could go at least four hours. They really need do adopt the Doug Harris Service Model: Emotional yet Efficient. I have never been to a Doug Harris service that lasted more than 90 minutes. He is clear and concise, and he does not make me fall asleep (save one ill-fated sermon about the construction of the Temple). At the very least, they should have let some of the students leave for snack time. Not every altar call is going to be pertinent to my life. If it is an altar call about substance abuse, I am not going to repent. I don’t need to because I am straightedge. The services also led to some weird moments (which I will detail later). I understand that this is a church camp, and that church needs to be a focal point. I just think that it can and should be done better.

THE LIVE MUSIC
Camp always made use of a “worship band”. I never completely verified this, but it was my belief that they gathered the best of the best musicians from the different Illinois churches to create a supergroup for the week. I don’t even remember the name of the person or group who led the music in 2002. What I do remember is that they employed the use of a female backup singer who literally only served the purpose of singing the words “spring rain” during the infamous “Mercy Is Falling” song. In 2003 and 2005, the music was led by the incomparable Steve Andres. My friends and I (mostly me, admittedly) had a very irrational and unhealthy obsession with Mr. Andres. He was talented, yes, but we (I) treated him as though he were a rock god. I even created a fake MySpace music page for The Andres Experience. In 2004, lead duties were assumed by the underrated Dave Mudd. Pastor Doug had the pleasure of embarrassing me and creating a very uncomfortable moment by introducing me to Dave and telling him that I was disappointed that he was not Steve Andres. Dave was a good sport and took it in stride, but I was quite embarrassed to say the least. All of these musicians were very skilled, and they helped to foster an atmosphere that was very conducive to Pentecostal worship, both during the service and during the morning song session after the Activity Director’s Dream.

THE SPEAKERS
While the general topics of the messages followed a certain pattern, the speakers differed in their style and delivery. Personally, I always believed that the best speakers were the ones that were the least gimmicky, so to speak. Allow me to examine the four speakers, but before I do, please note that I am only examining their methods and quirks and not questioning their love for God or for youth.

2002: Greg Hubbard. Mr. Hubbard was a very memorable man. He possessed an uncanny ability to perspire. We were able to tell how close he was to being done speaking by the percentage of his shirt that was completely drenched in sweat. He was an exceptional table tennis player. He had a strange fixation with the word buzzard. He also was the keynote speaker for Momentum Youth Convention in 2004.
2003: Pat Schatzline. Hello, gimmicky. From T-Shirt slogan-worthy sermon titles (Someone’s Got a Crush on You, Let It Rain, etc.) to having us dip our appendages in mud and ring a bell (I can’t remember if both those things occurred on the same night or not) to a very ill-conceived simulation to “I Can Only Imagine” in which he brought up a person who was seemingly stricken with cerebral palsy, only to get up to dance like Bekki Ehrich did to “Alabaster Box”, he was as gimmicky as they came. With those gimmicks came excruciatingly long services and some uncomfortable prophecies. Not exactly my cup of tea, but I know his style and words resonated with others.
2004: Scotty Gibbons. The opposite of the previous year entirely, Scotty was a calm, mild-mannered man who let his message speak for itself. He didn’t do a bunch of goofy things. He just spoke, and his words brought forth healing and peace. He was hands-down my favorite speaker.
2005: Mark Brewer. Mark was from Texas, and he brought his unique southern charm to the pulpit. He was the most brash and direct speaker of the four, but it brought forth the necessary uncomfortable feelings that lead to true introspection and change. He also befriended Merrill, and since I was with Merrill, I got to know Mark better than the previous speakers.

THE COUNSELORS
Each room of campers had a counselor, or as I like to call them, the masochistic sap who had the burden of supervising 10 teens at almost all times for an entire week. Counselors usually fell under one of two categories. They were either youth pastors/leaders who wanted or needed responsibility while their kids were out having fun, or the recently-graduated campers who desperately wanted to latch on to their glory days (me in 2006). Let’s take a closer look at each of my four counselors.

2002: Rob Matheny. Rob was the youth pastor at another church in the Chicago suburbs. He had the misfortune of dealing with some very difficult students. From a guy who either tried to blow up the toilet or was smoking in the bathroom to another guy who probably is currently imprisoned, Rob was at the end of his rope by the first night. His admittance to knowing the martial art of “Wang Chung” did not help matters either. He was exasperated by Friday, and was happy to see each of us go.
2003: Rob Matheny 2: Electric Boogaloo. By some strange twist of fate, I wound up with Rob Matheny in 2003 as well. Because our roommates were much more docile, we got a kinder and gentler Rob Matheny in return. Because he was not under so much stress, it made the time spent in our room much better.
2004: Scott Wiersma (or something like that). Scott was from Marengo, Illinois. If I’m not mistaken, he was a fireman/youth leader and not a youth pastor. He was older than most of the other counselors. What I do know is that he was a top-notch counselor. He took the time with each and every one of us to see how the week was going and how we were feeling. The fact that he genuinely cared about each of us so much after only knowing us for a short amount of time was never lost on me.
2005: Brian Filippin. One word could probably sum up his week: Overmatched. Brian was a nice guy, but was very young and looked even younger. He also had the “pleasure” of dealing with the worst people I ever experience at that camp. They literally had no respect for him or anything he had to say, and that made for an extremely uncomfortable week. Brian probably would’ve made the perfect counselor for Junior High Camp that year.

THE FOOD
During my first two years as a camper, the food was awful. There is no way of getting around it. At some point, Lake Williamson must have hired a new cafeteria staff, because there was a marked improvement in the quality of the food during my later years of camp. My favorite meals were the notorious “Taco Boats” and the French Toast Sticks on Friday morning that served as an edible reminder that camp was about to end.

In addition to the meals that were served, a staple of camp was “Snack Time”, the event which occurred between the evening service and the viewing of the day’s highlights. This gathering was more about socializing than eating, and I rarely bought a snack. I did, however, make good use out of the unlimited refills at the “Beverage Center”. I downed dozens of glasses of soft drinks in hopes that it would ease my nerves and grant me the courage to approach Jessica without looking like a total moron. Sadly, it did not.

THE ROOMMATES
Each room had nine campers and a counselor, so even if you were lucky and got to room with three people from your own church, you still had five strangers. The other kids usually came from a very small town in Southern Illinois, and if you were lucky, you would become cordial at best. Some roommates were more memorable than others, but I am going to try my best to detail as many as possible.

2002: We spent the week in Lakeside, a building that was more hotel than motel. I would spend the next three years at the centrally-located Clark Hall. In addition to Rob and Merrill, we roomed with the guy who tried to blow up a toilet (or smoke… still don’t know which), his brother, a guy named Patrick from Rob Matheny’s church (who was actually pretty cool), Jason (the guy who is likely in prison), some guy who brought Depends to wear as a fashion statement, and a quiet, wiry kid whose only moment of relevance occurred when Jason accidentally gave him a bloody nose whilst flailing around like the maniac that he was. Our room was frequently visited by the security team.
2003: I roomed with Rob again, and in addition to the return of Rob Matheny, Patrick returned as well. In addition to those guys, we had a guy named Derek and his younger brother whose name escapes me, a very cordial fellow named Chip, two Samoan twins named Keegan and Jaimon, and a guy from their church named Seth (who I found slightly annoying for some inexplicable reason). This room was good. Security only came once, and that was to inform us that we were up past lights out.
2004: Best room ever. I got to room with Dan and my cousin Andy, as well as the (often unintentionally) hilarious Mike Cavallone, who also went to our church. We had two young guys (one whose name was Jacob, so I went by “JD” for the week) who were fun and well-behaved, a guy named Ryan (who was crowed Mr. Lake Williamson that year) who was all sorts of cool, David, who drank obscene amounts of water, and Jeff, a relatively quiet but thoughtful guy who attended the same church as our counselor. We all got along fairly well, and the young guys took the rap for me from some girls because we ate all their cereal. Good times.
2005: I can’t even begin to explain how bad this week was. I was with Rob and Merrill, which was nice, but I would’ve had traded them for a room full of strangers as long as the strangers were well-behaved. Our room was full of obnoxious people. They stayed up all night telling obviously fabricated stories of their various exploits. They didn’t like Merrill, Rob, and I because we didn’t participate in the verbal debauchery. One of the geniuses even urinated on our counselor in the middle of the night (and for reasons that are still unbeknownst to me was not sent home). I don’t even want to take the time to describe each roommate in detail. It was that rough.

OTHER CAMPERS
Thankfully, if you didn’t really like your roommates (or the other people from your church), there were hundreds of other teens to meet. I met a number of them during my time there, and while some did not make a major impact on my life, others did. I’ll take a little time name-dropping (or nickname-dropping in many cases) the lesser members before discussing the ones who made a big impact.

Miscellaneous Campers
• “Jack the Ripper”, whose claim to fame was using his mouth to make loud flatulent noises and stealing Rob’s towel to wipe his sweaty body.
• The “Licking Girls”, who, as their name implied, licked anything and everything. They probably are in quarantine today.
• Juren, who made me so distraught that I threw my gum at him, causing me to feel so much remorse that I did not chew gum for the next five years
• The weird dudes with a monkey sock puppet
• Tabitha, who we really only hung around with in order to do the meal call that my grandma used to do to her cat of the same name
• Derek, Hoover’s friend who was loud and hilarious
• The guys from Sullivan and Decatur whose names I never learned. You were always friendly to me.

Hoover: I actually met Daniel Hoover in 2001. He irritated me because I thought he was trying to hit on the girls from my church, a notion which the Stone girls did nothing to suppress. After we cleared the air, we became good friends. He was a big part of my camp experience in 2002 and 2004, and he really encouraged me to man up and talk to the girl I was interested in. Though we don’t talk as often as we used to, I know he’s only ever an IM or text away, and we had a good time when we met up in Schaumburg in 2010.

The Girls
Even though this was a church camp, a lot of the camp experience had to do with “camp relationships”. It was inevitable, especially with 800 adolescents in the same place. I would be remiss if I did not mention some of the girls I met during my camp years.

Mollie: I met Mollie through the late, great Katie Prosapio. Mollie had roomed with the Stone girls one year and had kept in touch. The Stone girls absolutely adored her. I got to know Mollie and became a big fan of hers myself. We did the whole “long distance online dating” thing in early 2003, and though it didn’t work out, we remained friends and maintain sporadic contact to this day.

Con4t, Rach, and Kim: I lump them into one category because they went to the same church. I met Con4t in 2004, when we were part of the amazing Orange Team that fell just short in our quest for victory. We renewed acquaintances in 2005, when we were once again teammates (this time on the Red Team). It was also in 2005 that I met her friends, Rach and Kim, and they were seven shades of awesome. For some strange reason, they put glitter on me and called me “Moonbeam”. I let them because they were cute, and because I developed a bit of a crush on Con4t (especially because Jessica did not attend camp that year). I kept in touch with them after camp for a couple years, but people grow apart. Such is life. Kim is still one of my Facebook friends. I can only assume the other two are doing well.

Jessica: You didn’t think I could write a post about camp without spending a significant chunk of wordage on this one, did you? If there is one person that comes to mind when I think about camp, it is Jessica O’Neil. I don’t even know where to start. Actually, that’s a lie. I know exactly where this story starts. It all started at the Coca Cola machine in the Activity Center at the first day of Camp 2002. If you know me at all, you know that I don’t like to settle, especially when it comes to women. So it should come as no surprise to you that the most attractive girl in the whole camp was the one that caught my eye. She was wearing a white spaghetti-strap top and gray sweatpants that had “Angel” printed across the backside. She told me I could cut her in line because she was just waiting for her friend. I told her that I was just waiting as well.

Being the awkward dork that I was, things were not smooth sailing. Striking up conversation with her was very difficult from that point on. One time when I tried to gently brush past her to get her to notice me, I failed and knocked her over! It was mainly due to chance and due to some great friends that I even learned her name and took a picture with her. I didn’t even have the guts to ask her for her phone number. I had to have Nico do it for me. I don’t know if it was pity or if she saw a diamond amidst a whole heap of rough, but she gave him her number to give to me.

I did a decent job of keeping in touch after that. It was the internet, so it was easier for me to gain artificial courage. When it came time for Camp 2003, I was in the midst of a personal renaissance and had gained a small amount of confidence. I talked to her a bit, but never as much as I wanted, partly due to lingering shyness but mostly because of her blonde friend who scared the living daylights out of me.

When 2004 rolled around, my interest in her was at an all-time high. Unfortunately, so was my awkwardness. I was deathly afraid to approach her, because I long believed that she was well out of my league. When we said goodbye that last day, little did I know that it would be eight years and counting until we would see one another again.

It probably surprises many that the two of us still keep in contact after 10 years. Because of our different schedules, we do not talk as often as I would like, but I have an inkling that may change in the future. When I met Jessica, she was absolutely beautiful on the outside, but still a bit of a work in progress otherwise. That’s not the case anymore. While the outward beauty has only gotten better over time, I am also so proud of the person she has become, and talking to her always makes me smile. I don’t know how she’s put up with me for all these years, but I’m glad she has. Would I still date her if the opportunity arose? You bet! And who knows? Maybe it will…

THE HIGHLIGHT VIDEOS
The last thing we did at night as one large congregated group was gather in the auditorium and watch the highlights of the day. The tech crew that they had were pretty savvy for the time period (early 2000s), and they were able to create a video set to music displaying the activities of the day. It was always a huge deal to see yourself on the video, if only for a second or two. It was an even bigger deal to hear people cheering for you when they saw you. It usually meant they thought you were cute. I know I cheered my lungs out every time I saw Jessica on that video! I had a few longish (5 seconds~!) appearances on the 2005 highlights, but my pre-2005 appearances were usually short. At the end of the week, the highlight videos were always available for sale, and I still have my copies of the 2002, 2003, and 2005 videos. Sadly, my 2004 DVD got lost in early 2007, which is a shame because it was my favorite DVD.

TEAM COMPETITION
Campers were divided into teams as soon as we got there. Every room was part of one of ten colored teams. Some years the teams had a gimmick attached (i.e., in 2003 the teams were named after soft drinks in accordance with the Thirst theme), while others were gimmick-less years. The winning team got a co-ed pool and pizza party at the outdoor pool. It may sound lame now, but back then it was a pretty big deal, especially since males and females were segregated during water activities.

Teams competed in a variety of events from Monday to Thursday. From the Activity Director’s Dream (odd and convoluted yet strangely enjoyable relay races) to individual sign-up activities to “Surf & Turf” in the afternoon (team games on land and water), there were a number of ways to get your team on top. The results were revealed on Thursday evening after service. The closest I came to first place was in 2004, when my Orange Team fell just short. I don’t know how fun the pool party would’ve actually been, but it would have been nice to have had the opportunity to experience it firsthand (though Jessica, sadly, was never on my team).

THE ACTIVITIES
Lake Williamson had virtually everything you could hope for in a camp. The Activity Center had table tennis, pool tables, arcade games, basketball courts, volleyball courts, racquetball, a climbing wall, and an indoor obstacle course, for starters. On the campground there was also a miniature golf course, an outdoor pool, and the lake itself, among other things. There were a number of water slides, including “The Flume”, a very tall slide that went almost straight down. You were required to wear a helmet to experience The Flume. I chickened out. Though I spent more time playing table tennis than I would like to admit, I am glad that I was able to experience a number of the other activities as well. My favorite game was very simplistic yet highly enjoyable. You had to go down the big twisty water slide and catch a ball as you reached the bottom. Simple, yet fun.

SPECIFIC STORIES/MEMORIES
Unlike the previous sections (which were meticulously organized), I am just going to throw a bunch of random stories here for fun.

• At the conclusion of the infamous bell-ringing service in 2003, there was a young lady who had taken to shouting out “prophecies” at the top of her lungs. When our speaker claimed to receive word from the Lord that one of our campers not only watched pornography but was also heavily involved in the industry, she shouted out “Jacob, why must you be so stubborn?” I picked a bad day to be named Jakob, but I can promise you that she was not speaking about me.
• After lunch, there was a brief meeting detailing which gender had access to specific facilities that afternoon. Dan and I decided to skip that meeting. Later that afternoon, we had a strange desire to go canoeing. When we arrived, we were met with shocked looks. Apparently the women were so aghast because we entered during a time that it was ladies-only. We were forced to close our eyes, turn away, and put our shirts back on. Hooray modesty!
• In 2002, one of our Surf & Turf activities involved going down a zip line and landing in a hula hoop. I had no desire to involve myself in such shenanigans, so I merely watched as a spectator. As Rob rose to take his turn, our roommate Patrick and I began to engage in a discussion as to whether or not Rob would be successful in this pursuit. No sooner had we started than Rob fell back first into some very shallow water. Immediately, I thought he was dead. When I realized that he was, indeed, still alive, I enjoyed a hearty laugh.
• My friends and I enjoyed each other’s company so much one night that we were a bit tardy in leaving the dinner table. When one of the girls on KP (kitchen patrol) saw this, she began to cop an attitude with us, telling us she needed to get back to the room and brush her teeth. We decided to stay another 20 minutes.
• Usually on Wednesday nights before the presentation of the Highlight Video, the participants in the National Fine Arts Festival would perform. One of the girls from our church performed a very operatic song called “The Rock of Faith Is Jesus.” As Rex described it at the time, it sounded like “a song in a Disney movie about the French Revolution that disembodied heads would sing after getting chopped off by the guillotine.” She did a good job, but it was seriously the funniest thing ever. I was in tears 15 seconds into the song, and as I looked around, I saw the entire auditorium was as well. Jack the Ripper even got up and started conducting!
• When Dan and I finally had to take part in KP, his role was filling up the pitchers of punch. How much punch they actually got was entirely dependent on their attitude towards us. A nice table got a full pitcher of punch. A rude table got a pitcher that was 25% punch and 75% water. Don’t bite the hand that feeds you…
• In 2002, Jason was doing everything he could to get in trouble. When Rob and I had told him that we had to clean the field the previous year for taking part in wrestling after curfew, he desperately pleaded with the powers that be to let him clean the field. In fact, it was his goal all week to get the opportunity to clean the field.
• On the first day of Camp 2003, the boys and I went up to play ping pong. I had broken up with Mollie two months prior, and I was not particularly enthused about seeing her (because I thought the Stone girls would make a big deal about it). As Dan and I are playing ping pong, a group of no fewer than 15 girls walks up the stairs in a big circle. In unison, they shout, “Jakob, we have a surprise for you!!!” I had no idea what the surprise would be, but anything short of Jessica or a significant amount of money was going to be a massive disappointment. The circle disbanded to reveal Mollie. I had no idea what to say, so I said nothing and continued the game.
• In 2005, Merrill very badly wanted the crown of Mr. Lake Williamson. He tried to curry favor for himself by bringing soft drinks for our entire room, buddying up to counselors, the sort of stuff you’d see in a political campaign. He also became sort of became a coach/drill instructor trying to encourage our team during the games. I don’t blame him for it, because it worked and he was the Red Team nominee for the crown. I do, however, blame him for yelling at a kid with one lung to go faster on the obstacle course. Thankfully, the kid was a good sport, and I got a good laugh out of it.
• In 2004, I had this ridiculous red, white, and blue bucket hat that I wore all the time. It got me the nickname “Guy with the Hat”, which became the e-mail address that I still use to this day. I also used that hat to get Jessica’s attention by hitting her in the arm with it. I was such a stud.

CLOSING THOUGHTS
Camp was easily the highlight of my summer during my high school years. In fact, the whole year revolved around camp in my mind. Each day got me one step closer to Lake Williamson. When I started putting together this post, I expected to discover that my time at camp was not nearly as glorious as I thought at the time. That could not be further from the truth. While 2005 was a lost year (and indicative of the year in general), the other three years were amazing. 2004 was my best year personally, and 2003 was the best year as an overall spectacle (the theme, the presence of all my friends, etc.). It was a great experience, and an integral part of my youth. It was my gateway to meeting some amazing people, and while I love the place, I don’t want to go back. I want to find my grown up version of Lake Williamson. Onward and upward!

I Am NOT Who I Thought I Was

So I’ve already written about the details about my trip: the highs and lows, the places, the people, the experience. But that was truly only a small portion of what happened during the trip. It was the first time I had ever travelled alone in my life, and it taught me a great number of things about myself. Some of those things were good; some were not. I thought I would share some of these discoveries with you.

• I do not know nearly as much about myself as I thought I did.
• I am not nearly as introverted as I thought. I have long thought I could both survive and thrive in solitude, but that simply is not the case. I felt lonely most of the time, and the highlights of the trip occurred when I was with other people.
• I am also a lot more emotional than I even let on to myself. I think I’ve been hurt/disappointed/etc. too many times that I even shut myself off to myself. I need to work on opening up.
• I need to do a better job of appreciating the people in my life, or at least showing them that I appreciate them. I saw a number of people on this trip who were great to me, not to mention have a family who did everything they could to help me get my luggage back.
• I need to be more enthusiastic. Sure, I am not where I want to be, but I don’t have to be completely miserable while I wait for my happy ending. Having the right attitude is a necessity moving forward. I need to be enthusiastic, professional, and hard-working.
• I think too highly of myself in the some areas and am too hard on myself in others. I really need balance, and I need to appreciate myself not only for where I want to be but also for who I am at this point in time. It is good to have goals, but I can’t look down on myself until I get there.
• I need to put myself out more. One of the best parts of the trip was when I was out to dinner with Jon and ZB. I commented to Jon about how I was envious of the numerous meaningful connections he has made, and he told me that these connections primarily happened thanks to putting himself out there. I have realized that I’m really not that bad when I make an effort to connect with people, but I haven’t done that good of a job making an effort. I need to put the past aside and do a better job moving forward.
• If it’s not the right time to do something, don’t do it. Sometimes I make too much of a big deal in my head about making my move, blah blah blah. If it’s not the right time, it’s not going to work. Patience is rarely enjoyable, but it is often necessary.
• From this point on, if I’m known for one thing, I want it to be for how hard I work. If I’m known for two things, I want it to be for my persistence/determination even when the odds are not in my favor.
• I need to do a better job of maximizing my gifts/skillset. I could be doing a lot more.
• I want to live a little, save a lot, and be as generous as possible with what I am given.
• For the first time in quite some time, I not only have an idea of where I want to be in my life, but also how I want to improve as a person. Though this trip was difficult and lonely at times, it can ultimately be considered a success.

A Synopsis of the Seattle Trip and Some Observations Concerning the Pacific Northwest

It took me a quarter of a century, but I finally ventured west of Minnesota. After completing the marathon, I decided to knock out another item on my 2012 to-do list by taking a vacation. Seattle (and the rest of the Pacific Northwest) has always been an area of particular interest to me, so I finally made the journey out west. In the vein of my “Year in Review” posts, here is a day-by-day synopsis of the trip with some thoughts about the Pacific Northwest following. In the next day or so, there will also be a personal reflective piece concerning the trip, so watch for that as well.

Monday: Not exactly what I’d call a great day. I picked up exactly where my last vacation ended. The flights were good (and the flight to Phoenix was actually enjoyable). On my way to pick up the rental car, my luggage got lost because someone took mine. I was without pretty much everything for four hours. Thanks to the fact I got almost no sleep the night before, this experience made me very emotional. Thankfully, I reclaimed my luggage four hours later, but it threw a serious wrench into my schedule. I was able to see the History of Flight museum that afternoon, but everything else had to be moved around. I was able to meet up with Rex for dinner that night, which is always a pleasure. Still, it was a rough day, and I felt very homesick.

Tuesday: This was still a pretty emotional day. I was worn out from the events of the previous day and from my decision to forgo the trip to Idaho. I still saw a few things this day. I was able to see the view of Seattle from the top of the world (the Space Needle), experienced the eclectic Pike Place Market, and checked out the very interesting EMP Museum. Dinner was lonely by myself, but it was a better day than Monday.

Wednesday: I was able to fulfill a lifelong dream of setting foot on CenturyLink Field, the home of my beloved Seattle Seahawks. I was able to tour their facilities early in the afternoon. Fortunately, this was the only day it did not rain. We had a small tour group, so we were able to get an in-depth tour and experience many of the stadium’s amenities. After the tour, I got a doughnut at Top Pot and explored the city of Seattle. It’s a pretty neat place. Wasn’t able to meet up with a couple people, but that happens.

Thursday: This was a pretty awesome day. I conquered the rain during my drive to Portland. I picked up ZB, and we headed to Portland. While in Portland, we encountered the gloriously creepy yet delightfully delicious Voodoo Doughnuts and the very serene International Rose Test Garden. Though I am far from a botanist, I enjoyed the peaceful landscape. After that, we headed back to Seattle to meet up with another GameFAQs user, Jon, for dinner at a restaurant in the UDistrict. It was a very enjoyable dinner, and it was full of excellent conversation.

Friday: My primary objective for the day was to make it back to Chicago without a hitch. Most people would take that for granted, but given my travel history, I did not. Thankfully, everything went extremely smoothly. I traded the Seattle rain for the balmy Chicago weather and made it home in one piece.

Assorted Observations
• Some of those hills are absolutely disgusting to drive on. They are fine to look at and even to walk on, but as for driving, I do not approve.
• If we classified Seattle as a 25 year old hipster just getting his/her feet wet in the world, then we would have to classify Portland as its creepy 14 year old sibling who shops at Hot Topic.
• The area that Voodoo Doughnuts is located might be the sketchiest area to which I have ever voluntarily travelled.
• My tour guide for the Seahawks tour was a Steelers fan. It made me a bit uncomfortable.
• I don’t know why the top of the Space Needle is orange. It should be the same lime green shade that the Seahawks and Sounders use.
• My hotel room was the first I ever encountered that not only was bereft of a clock but also of a Gideon Bible. However, it had an analog microwave. Apparently, I’m a high roller when I travel.
• The Pacific Northwest is a nice area, but I don’t think it’s a place that I would ever call home.

From Muffin Top to Marathon Man: My 7 Month Journey to the Top of the Fitness Mountain

I have made mention of my immense weight loss in 2008 on numerous occasions. The impetus for that weight loss was two-fold: to get in shape before student teaching began and to impress Stacie. One of those things happened. The other did not. I digress. After getting myself into pretty good shape, I stayed in pretty good shape for about a year. I started sliding down the slope in August 2009. Between different struggles and hardship, the move from Orland back to Tinley, and a nasty illness, I got out of a normal workout pattern. As life’s body blows began to increase, I spent even less time at the gym and more time wallowing in self-pity. Between August 2009 and September 2011 I never even stepped on a scale. I noticed a “muffin top” beginning to form, and I noticed my clothes becoming tighter and tighter. I finally bit the bullet and stepped onto the scale.

I was horrified to discover that I had gained over half the weight I lost in 2008. All the hard work and triumph was gone. This time, the only motivation I had to lose weight was my disgust at falling off the wagon. That was the only motivation I needed.

Starting in October 2011, I worked out seven days a week. As I had done in 2008, I used the elliptical as the focal point for my workouts. Unlike 2008, I focused less on speed and more on intensity. Five days a week I burned 1000 calories whilst on the elliptical. I “rested” the other two days by only burning 500 calories. By the beginning of December, I lost all the weight I had put on. I was in the best shape of my life, but I began to get bored of the elliptical.

Around this time, my dad mentioned that he was going to run another marathon and invited my sister and me to run the marathon as well. With my sister’s work schedule, marathon training was impossible, but I decided to give it some thought. Never mind that I had not run since conditioning before basketball season in junior high. Never mind that I had never run more than 2.5 miles without stopping. I decided to take up running, and by the end of December I would decide whether or not I was up for doing a marathon.

I decided to do my running on the treadmill because I am not a fan of the elements (despite living in the greater Chicagoland area my entire life). I started with three miles. Then I moved up to five. By the end of the year I could run 8 miles. Not only could I run longer distances, but my mile time kept improving. I went from running 10 minute miles to running miles in under 8 minutes. I decided to accept the challenge.

From what I now understand, it is not common for a novice runner to run a marathon. Getting one’s body in marathon shape generally takes a great deal of time and practice. However, if you know me, you know I like to rush things a bit. I do not follow conventional wisdom, especially in terms of establishing timeframes for goals. I was going to do this, and I was going to do it well.

Marathon training was not fun. I ran four short runs during the week and a long run every Sunday. The long run started at 8 miles and increased by one mile every week. For the first five weeks or so, a crazy thing happened. My average mile time got faster with the longer I went! I finished a half-marathon at an exceptionally good clip.

Once I got past 15 miles in my training runs, my body really started to feel it. It would take a couple days for my body to get back to 100 percent. I was able to make it outside for my 18 and 19 mile runs. It was good for me to be able to get out into the elements and away from the controlled environment of the gym.

So, on May 5, 2012, I finally ran a marathon. I was well-trained, but no amount of training could have prepared me for exactly what I was going to experience. It was colder, windier, and damper than I both hoped and expected it to be. The beginning of the race was full of people who should have started much farther back based on their pace. I had to get past all that.

And get past it I did! My goal before the marathon was to not only finish the race but also to finish it in less than four hours. I know… I have the tendency to set some lofty goals. Despite the terrain being damp and somewhat hilly during the first half of the marathon, I was absolutely flying. I made it through the first 20 miles in around 2 hours and 50 minutes. I was well on pace to achieve my goal.

Somewhere between mile 20 and mile 21 my body hit a wall. At this point (and until the rest of the race) we had to run into a pretty nasty headwind. I hit the wind and it literally froze my body in its tracks. Both legs gave out simultaneously, and I was completely spent. My only goal at that point was to finish.

Because my legs were in the condition they were, I pretty much had to drag myself through the last 5.5 miles. Around mile 23 I seriously considered calling it a day and having medical personnel transport me to the finish. My body wanted to quit, but my mind said no. I had come too far to fall just short. I have fallen just short of the prize too many times in my life. I would not let it happen this time.

Eventually I made it to the finish line. I mustered up just enough strength to run as fast as I could through the finish (and looked like a total dork doing so). I finished 37 minutes later than I hoped to finish, but I completed a marathon. The guy who had a muffin top just 7 months ago ran a marathon, and ran it like a complete star for most of it.

I’ll probably never run a marathon again. I don’t need to. I set a goal for myself back in December, and I achieved that goal. I’ll find something else to strive to achieve.

I really do appreciate all the kind words and messages I have received throughout this entire process. I am extremely relieved to be finished, and I am extremely excited that my body isn’t going to feel like total junk anymore. I’m not some sort of superhuman for doing this. Just because many of you haven’t done something like this doesn’t mean that you can’t do it. Just takes time, energy, and a lot of stubbornness. Let NOTHING stand in your way.

25 Lessons Learned on the Road to JD XXV

So I turn 25 tomorrow. For whatever reason, this is whole being a quarter of a way to 100 is kind of a big deal to me. The road from 24 to 25 has had its bumps, but I can say I'm in a better place in life than I was 366 days ago. Here are some lessons I have learned along the way.

1. There is no future in living in the past.
2. When you are exceptional, people take notice.
3. Approach each day as if it is a battle between yourself and the you of yesterday.
4. “Finding yourself” is a never-ending, ever-changing process.
5. People grow apart. This cannot be changed.
6. Always be ready to make fun of yourself. It takes away the incentive for others to make fun of you.
7. Let nothing stand in your way..
8. People will disappoint you. You, as a person, will inevitably disappoint others. Don’t dwell on it. Just move on.
9. Life is more enjoyable in the absence of expectation.
10. Keeping your body and mind sharp is a necessity, not a luxury. Don’t let yourself go.
11. Do not stubbornly persist in the pursuit of something that no longer suits your current position in life.
12. Don’t take work personally. Do your best, but leave your work at work.
13. There will be those who do not like you. But if you like yourself, a lot of people will like you as well.
14. Eliminate filler. Anything without purpose is pointless.
15. Nothing causes credibility loss faster than an inability to keep your word.
16. If someone wrongs you, don’t hold a grudge. That said, be careful to not put yourself in a position where that person could wrong you in the same fashion. Fool me once…
17. Life requires patience. Urgency has its time and place, but life requires patience more often than urgency.
18. It is much easier to fall asleep after a day of productivity than a day of inactivity.
19. You do not have to agree with someone, but you also are not required to voice your disagreement. Act with tact.
20. You’re only as old as you feel.
21. Life is more interesting when you are someone who cannot be placed in a metaphorical box.
22. Be gracious. Be humble. Be generous. But don’t allow anyone to take advantage of you.
23. Life is cyclical in nature. Ride it out.
24. Be accountable to yourself.
25. Never stop improving.

Five Bands Worth Getting Excited About

In a perfect world, this would be posted on my yet-to-be-launched music site. It has taken a little longer to launch than I would have liked. That said, I still really wanted to make this post.

If you are anything like me, you use heavy doses of music to get you through the mundane tedium of daily life. I get particular enjoyment out of “discovering” amazing bands that have slipped through the cracks or for one reason or another have not received the attention they deserve. Since my ear finds the pop punk genre to be most pleasing, my “discoveries” tend to contain many elements of the genre, but my interests are diversified. Without further ado, here are five bands worth getting excited about.

BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME

If you asked a fan of pop punk music to select one band that completely epitomizes the genre, some might say Blink-182. Others would say pre-American Idiot Green Day. Still others would say New Found Glory. None of those would be bad choices at all. They are the foundation on which the genre is built. If you would ask me that question, however, I would reply with Better Luck Next time. They are as pop punk as it comes, and they could not care less who knows it. For nearly a decade they have stayed true to themselves and true to the genre, putting out albums and songs that represent pop punk to its core. Their execution is top-notch, and they seem to have the perfect sense of timing in terms of incorporating their signature piano elements into a song. Put simply, BLNT is a champion of pop punk and should be celebrated as such. Their yet-to-be-named fourth full length album is set to drop at some point of this calendar year, so be watchful of that. In the meantime, check out each of their first three albums.

Listen to “Love Answers Everything” HERE


THE DEAD FAMOUS

I am far from an Anglophile, but I will certainly admit that our neighbors from across the pond have enriched the global culture immensely. We have the Brits to thank for everything from snarky humor to “Old Gregg” to thoroughly enjoyable music.

The Dead Famous is the latest in a long line of quality British bands (McFly, You Me At Six, etc.) that loosely fall under the all-encompassing alternative rock/pop punk/pop rock umbrella. In fact, this band contains elements from my two favorite British groups: Go: Audio and Elliot Minor. James Matthews is still the vocal master class that he was in Go: Audio (and is still one of only two people I would ever trade places with). Actually, Matthews’ voice possesses greater maturity and authority than it ever did with Go: Audio. These guys are on the fast track to big things. “I Can Stop the World” is one of the best tracks I have heard in a long time. If only they’d release an EP or full length sometime soon.

Listen to “I Can Stop the World” HERE


HEROES FOR HIRE

The Australian pop punk scene doesn’t get the same attention of their American, British, or even Canadian counterparts, but that doesn’t mean that they are bereft of talent. Heroes for Hire are the best and brightest in the scene, in my opinion. It is virtually impossible to listen to an entire Heroes for Hire song without smiling. They recently released a new single, “Heart Stops”. If this song is a harbinger of things to come (and I believe it is), then this band is certainly one to keep on your radar.

Listen to “Heart Stops” HERE


I CALL FIVES

I Call Fives has been teasing us for years. They have given us little tastes and glimpses of the greatness that they are waiting to release on the pop punk scene and the music world as a whole. They have supplied us with appetizers (in the form of singles or EPs) to get us excited for the entrée, but have never given us that entrée. Until this year, that is. On March 20, they are releasing one last appetizer, Someone That’s Not You, before finally giving us their first full length album. It is not unreasonable to believe that the release of this full length will finally launch these guys into the same echelon of a band like Mayday Parade… if not higher. They’re that good.

Listen to “Backup Plan” HERE


THE SUN AND THE SEA

My love for The Graduate is well documented. They are, were, and will always be a phenomenal band. I realize that I may never connect as deeply with a band as I did with The Graduate. However, if I were to find a band I loved as much as The Graduate, it would most likely be The Sun and the Sea. This band rose from The Grad’s ashes and has set out to make their own mark on the music world, retaining old fans and bringing in new fans. The Sun and the Sea is composed of four of the five members of The Graduate (Jared Wuestenberg, Matt Kennedy, Max Sauer, and Tim Moore) with new vocalist Chris Rhein. The band has released an instrumental EP on their Bandcamp page. I am extremely anxious to hear how the new vocalist is going to mesh with the rest of the band and if the band retains the elements that made them so great. By all indications, it is a match made in heaven. Be on the lookout for these guys in 2012 and beyond.

Listen to “Mad Max” HERE

Taking Leaps in the Right Direction

I rarely get to chance to mention this, but I absolutely love leap years. In fact, I’ve never had a bad leap year. Without getting into too much of a personal history lesson, 2000 and 2004 were two of my three favorite years of the last decade, while 2008 was highly productive (and had its moments of enjoyability). 1996 was even my favorite year of the 90s! Really, you can’t go wrong with leap years. I love the Summer Olympics and U.S. Presidential elections. Most importantly, it gives us one extra day to accomplish our goals.

This year I have made a concerted effort to “trim the fat”, so to speak. After literally trimming fat from my body at the end of 2011, I’ve spent 2012 discarding the things and people that were nothing more than an albatross to me. I go to bed much earlier. I work hard, whether it’s at either of my jobs or training for a marathon. I spend significantly less time on mindless drivel and aimless people, and I feel much better for it.

So how did I spend my extra day? I voluntarily got up at 7:15 to run three miles. After that, I took care of some housekeeping before my sister and I enjoyed the delightful weather out at Oak Brook and lunch at Granite City. After that, I got to tutor some kids.

This year I have been able to see myself take significant leaps forward in my life. While I have not reached the desired end destination, I am excited for what is to come. I look forward to more leaps, greater productivity, and sustained success. Keep moving forward.

On Love, Life, and the Like

Find your other half. Make love happen today. Fall in love for the right reasons. Blah blah blah blah blah. Try getting through one commercial break without seeing a commercial for a dating site, a jewelry store, or a chick flick/romantic comedy. I don’t want to hear it, not because I’m some bitter hardened scrooge of a loser whose better days have passed him by. Without tooting my own horn, I know I’m a commodity. There are probably more people interested in me now than at any point in my life. I am both flattered and humbled by that. I don’t want to hear it because it displays a distinct lack of perspective. In order to get the most out of life, love, and everything in between, there are two things I believe you need to do.

Love others before yourself.

For the most part, we are inherently selfish and overly indulgent. We do what we want to satisfy our own desires and whims. Most of our actions are done from a “me-first” perspective. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing to look out for oneself. Somebody has to do it. However, we take self-preservation and pleasure to extremes and become hypersensitive to our own desires. We need to become more selfless. We need to become as attuned to the wants and desires of those close to us as we are attuned to our own feelings. No one, regardless of their affluence, occupation, or attractiveness, can be successful in a relationship if their sole focus is on the self. Thoughtfulness and understanding is integral to building relationships at the platonic and familial levels, let alone at the romantic level.

Fall in love with yourself before falling in love with someone else.

This is not an argument for narcissism or anything of the sort. It is also not a direct contradiction to the preceding paragraph. It is, however, a fundamental truth when it comes to establishing and maintaining a romantic relationship. It is very difficult for someone to fall in love with a person who has not yet fallen in love with himself. The constant insecurity and self-second guessing is nothing but detrimental to the success of a relationship. On the other side, someone who struggles with love of self is going to have immense difficulty in displaying love towards a significant other. Before even considering the notion of falling in love with someone, fall in love with yourself. Get to know yourself. Take note of the things you like about yourself and work to change the things you do not. Once you’ve gotten a grasp on that, take note of the things you would and would not like in a companion. Stand firm to your desires and convictions, and proceed thusly. Don’t believe the myth of a “better half”.

I personally do not like the idea of an “other half”. I don’t want a half of a person. I don’t consider myself to be a half of a person. I am a whole person who wants a complementary whole person with whom I can form a meaningful connection.

The last thing I want to do is to rush into anything or have something for the sake of having something. My mother, bless her heart, has spent the better portion of the last three years trying to set me up with student teachers and coworkers’ daughters. I appreciate that I am considered “setuppable.” Yes, I just made up that word. But that’s not what I want. I am pleased with where I am and look forward to getting to where I want to be. I encourage you to do the same. If you don’t think you’re “enough” without someone, you’re not going to be “enough” with someone, either.

Jakob vs. Jakob, or the Rebranding of My Competitive Nature

If you read my apologia or have known me since the late 1990s or before, you know that Mr. Clifton was and is my favorite teacher and holds a great deal of responsibility for my interest in the field of education. Therefore, it should come as no surprise to you that it is always a pleasure to hear from him. The last time I heard from him was a little different. One innocuous tweet unearthed an old wound and spurred hours of deep thought about things that somehow escaped mention in my apologia.

…just heard from Darnell…hard to believe we are (13) years removed from the dirigible incident…

The “dirigible incident” which he alluded to had to do with the last spelling bee I took part in. Before you take any shots at me, yes, I was one of “those” kids. I partook in Spelling Bees, Speech Meets, and Math Olympics. And without tooting my own horn, I was pretty good. Going into 6th grade, I won all four spelling bees I had entered, took home three blue ribbons at the speech meet, and won two of the three math competitions I had entered. However, victory did not bring with it a sense of accomplishment or relief. Of course I enjoyed success, but each victory brought with it a greater pressure to accomplish more. That really came to a head by early 1999.

With the ACSI spelling bees, victory did not end in the classroom for 5th through 8th grade students. There were three additional rounds: the “stage” round (for the first and second place finishers in the 5th through 8th grade competitions), the regional spelling bee (which the top four stage finishers qualified for), and the ACSI National Spelling Bee in Washington, D.C.

That spelling bee was the hardest fought of any spelling bee I had entered. Katie Prosapio and I fought tooth and nail for rounds and rounds before I finally bested her. Neither of us had any time to recover. It was off to the stage!

I drew the 8th (and best) seat for that round. Even if I got my word wrong, there was the off chance that I’d already have qualified thanks to four people before me missing their words. Sadly, nobody had missed by that point.

My word was dirigible. To this day I contend that the spellmaster mispronounced it. That is irrelevant. I misspelled the word and was eliminated.

To say I was crushed would be an understatement. For a number of years I was a fairly big fish in a small pond. Not only did I feel the pond expanding, I could see the fish growing around me. I followed up the letdown at the spelling bee with a (much less desired) red ribbon and a “thanks for trying” honorable mention in the math competition. For the first time in my life, I wasn’t achieving my goals.

The losses of 1999 created a dramatic rebranding in me. I could not carry on in that way any longer. I absolutely could not handle losing. It ate at me. The mere thought of potential loss completely consumed me to the point of reduced functionality. Things needed to change. That was the end of spelling bees, speech meets, and math competitions.

I know that it is very difficult to change overnight. However, it is much simpler to shift some things around in order to create that change. It would’ve been unreasonable for me to believe that I needed to immediately stop being competitive. That just doesn’t go away. It WAS reasonable to believe that I could channel my competitive juices elsewhere. And thus, the Jakob Duehr that you know and possibly tolerate was created.

Do I still hate losing? Absolutely. It still riles me every time my Seahawks lose. Just imagine how it would be if I were actually competing myself! But I try my best to stay as uncompetitive as possible when it comes to other people. Sure, I do the fantasy football thing, but my interest in that has waned over time. Games and competitions against other people fail to interest me because I have spent the better part of the last 13 years in another game. I am constantly at battle with myself. I set goals for myself, and I am consistently trying to be a better Jakob than the Jakob I used to be.

Running has been a great thing for me in that regard. I have a tangible and objective way of determining how much better I have become. This week I ran a 5k in just over 21 minutes. That is 3 minutes better than the time I ran on New Year’s Eve in Matteson, which was 2 minutes faster than the previous best time. I am constantly setting new goals for myself. You may call that being a malcontent. I call it a creative way to channel my competitive energy.

Sure, some people may call me obsessive, and in some regards they would be right. I have had the tendency to burn out at times. I have also tended to have such tunnel vision in regards to my continuous self-competition that I have neglected other areas of my life. Rest assured that part of self-competition is that I am always trying to get better. I’ll wage war on those areas, and I believe I will emerge victorious.

I got a follow up tweet from Mr. Clifton. It read as follows:

…[you] would have been dominant in 7th grade… D.C. Fo Sho…

While I appreciate the sentiment, I likely wouldn’t have. The fear of loss would’ve consumed me, and the competition was steadily improving. Even if I had won, the fleeting contentment I would have gotten from the victory would not have been worth it. Could things have been different? Maybe. But I’m fine with the way things worked out.

The Ultimate Test of Body and Mind (Yes, I'm really running a marathon)

As I have said countless times, I like to set very high goals for myself. The sense of accomplishment is that much greater, and the pursuit of the goal is much more enjoyable and exhilarating. It’s about time to officially (though many of you know this already) announce the top item on my 2012 To-Do List.

In the last few months I have gotten myself into excellent shape. I eat better, but more importantly I exercise like it’s going out of style. I hit the gym anywhere between five and seven days a week. The majority of my exercising is of the cardiovascular variety. When I lost weight in 2008 (and again in late 2011), I did it primarily through the use of the elliptical. Towards the end of 2011, I began to get bored with the elliptical, so I finally gave running a try. I was surprised to find out that I was actually pretty good at the whole running thing, so I kept it up.

When I began to lose weight again, my dad jokingly invited my sister (a top-class sprinter in her day) and me to run a marathon in spring. Heidi isn’t much for long-distance running and her work schedule is pretty hectic, so she quickly bowed out. I, however gave it some thought.

The more I thought about it, the more I embraced the idea. I am going to be 25 in spring. It’s about time I start doing some amazing things. I’ve accomplished some decent things in my time, but nothing quite to this level. I’ve gotten myself in excellent physical condition. I might as well put that to good use.

Starting at the end of this month, I will be officially starting my marathon training. I even got new running shoes today! The race is the first weekend of May. At this point I can run 8 miles without any discomfort. I look forward to the challenge of working my way up to 26.2 miles. It is the ultimate test of body and mind, and I am excited to achieve this goal. This is my time. I will let nothing stand in my way.

2012: Let NOTHING Stand in Your Way

Over the last three years, I have definitely felt myself getting “older”, so to speak. Somehow, I have managed to get a small bit wiser over that period of time as well. One way I have managed to get wiser is in making New Year’s “resolutions”. If you look at them in that light, you increase the pressure on yourself and put way too much stock in one day out of the year. If you want to get something done, you don’t need to wait until the next January 1st to get started. If I had done that, I would not be in the physical condition I am now. That said, I am all for setting goals, and I am a proponent of making a “To-Do List” for the year. This list can be amended at any time. Goals can be deleted, added, or altered to fit the landscape of the year. Here is my To-Do List for 2012.

• Run at least 1000 miles over the course of the year. This goal originally was to burn 250,000 calories with my cardio in 2012, but plans have certainly changed, as has my workout. I am no longer exclusively bound to the elliptical. I am actually enjoying my current workout, and I look forward to increasing my mileage. I have another major goal related to this goal, but it is getting a blog post of its own. It’s that big of a goal.
• Continue work on getting the abdominal six pack. At this point, that region of my body looks better than it ever has, but I am not quite there yet. With a smart diet and a consistent exercise regimen, I fully believe that this long-elusive goal can be met this year.
• Become a more patient driver. When I have some place I need to be, I like getting there as early as possible. When I am on my way home, I like getting home as quickly as possible. Because of those desires, I can be a bit impatient behind the wheel. While I have never been prone to road rage, it is one of the few areas of my life that I have difficulty holding back my frustration. I want to see marked improvement in that this year.
• Figure out my professional life in the moderate-term. I have my job situation pretty well figured out in the short term. I have two jobs, and I enjoy them both. That said, I do want a full time career, whether it’s a full time teaching job or something full time that is closer to what I do at the learning center. I’d like to get something in place this year so I don’t have to continue to look/worry/fret/etc.
• Take a vacation. I have wanted to go on trips for the last two years. I didn’t work hard enough to justify doing so. I have put a lot of time and effort into both my jobs in the past year, and after I accomplish the year’s “Big Goal”, I’d like to reward myself and hopefully get the chance to meet some people I have yet to meet in person.
• Cut down on the use of social networking. I enjoy Twitter, Facebook, and Stickam as much as the next person, but in the long run, it’s nothing more than an entertaining diversion. I have enough going on between my jobs and my physical training that I don’t need to spend a ton of time on any of these. While I still plan on using my Facebook and Twitter often, I intend to reduce the volume of time I spend on them. As far as Stickam is concerned, I intend to drastically cut down on the time spent there.
• Expand my writing kingdom. I enjoy having this blog. I really do. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have 130+ posts to this point. That said, there are other arenas that I enjoy that I have yet to explore in terms of putting my writing skills to use. That will affect this blog. I intend on drawing back on posts with this blog to approximately 25 this year. All the annual posts will still be done, so there will be no change that way. In addition to this blog, I plan on launching two new websites. One of these sites coincides with my love of pro wrestling (primarily the WWE), and the other will be a music site. I have a lot of ideas for both of those sites, and I hope to get them launched and running by the end of this year.

I am excited about my 2012 To-Do List, and I am very confident that this list will be completed in its entirety. I intend to add and amend as I go along this year. I encourage all of you to set a number of short and long-term goals and attack them with confidence, intensity, and intelligence. As Henry Ford once said, “Whether you think you can, or that you can’t, you’re usually right.” Our moment is now. Let NOTHING stand in your way.