Concerning Balance

Over a month ago I wrote about progress and that it was one of the two most important aspects of life. Finally, after many years of wanting to write about it, I have taken the opportunity to write about the other aspect, balance.

Balance can be a tricky thing. Each day is a balancing act, as we juggle our leisure activities with our responsibilities. A skew in one direction results in laziness, while a skew in the other direction can lead to burnout. Even within one’s responsibilities there is always a balancing act. To which responsibilities should one devote more time?

Parents probably have the most difficult balancing acts of all. Forget about leisure pursuits. They must somehow find enough hours in the day to take care of their work responsibilities, home responsibilities, spousal responsibilities, and even the balancing act of meting attention among the children.

I don’t know if others feel this way as well, but often I find myself in a balancing act in trying to be four people: 1) Who I am, 2) The summative total of what others want me to be, 3) Who I want to be, and 4) Who I should be. There is a daily battle in decision-making. Some days one of those people wins out. Other days it’s another. Nonetheless it is a balancing act.

Even this blog is a balancing act. With my obligations to this blog I have to balance between being boring (the post about my car accident) or interesting to the point that I shirked my responsibilities (the last post). It’s not always easy to talk about San Diego auto repair or to remind you to check engine light within the confines of what I want to speak about. But if a balancing act is required between the content of my posts and mentioning Ford F-150 and the auto shop, it is what it must be.

Balance is extremely important, but I feel that sometimes we feel overmatched trying to achieve perfect balance. Sometimes a 50/50 split is not only unfeasible but unnecessary. As long as we have all necessary components without spreading ourselves too thin, we have all that we need. Life is constantly changing. Sometimes we need to devote more time or energy to a specific component. Devote that necessary time and energy, but do not forget that component of your life is but one of many. Keep fighting the good fight. Keep juggling all that you juggle. One day you’ll be able to look back and be impressed at all you can do. Balance along with progress is a necessity of life.

No, Little Jackie, the World Does not Revolve Around You

For those of you confused about the title, there is a song by the group Little Jackie entitled “The World Should Revolve around Me”. The piece is as catchy as it is preposterous, but needless and oddly placed vulgarities will preclude me from linking to it. That said, as of late I have given some thought to the inherent egocentrism I see in the world and particularly in myself.

In general, as humans we are wired to not only have needs but wants as well. In the privileged world in which many of us live, needs are taken for granted and wants multiply in their stead. The more we have, the more we want. These wants eventually become demands. We take on this sense of entitlement, thinking that there are certain things we should have or should deserve, simply because a desire for it exists. Many of these things are not ours to have. Some of these things are not good for us. Instead of being petulant we must be thankful for what we have and hopeful for what is to come. If we are endowed with particularly good fortune we should do as much as we can to assist those who have fallen upon hard times. The world does not revolve around you.

The world does not revolve around me, either. A couple weeks back I got into an argument with an individual I deeply care about. The individual told me that while I thought I knew everything about that person, I did not. I thought long and hard about that, and I realized one of the greatest errors that I have committed in friendships, relationships, and relational pursuits. I have taken an egocentric view of the Golden Rule. The Golden Rule implores us to treat others the way we would like to be treated. It does not, however, implore us to treat others as if they were us. For far too long I have treated people as though they were Jakob Duehr carbon copies, ignoring past experiences, emotions, and personality differences. My expectations of others should not and cannot be as if they are me. My way is not the only way, and it is likely not the best way.

Both you and I also cannot push for that which we should not push for. What is meant for us to have, we do have. What is not meant for us to have, we do not. Our desires must not get in the way of our purpose. Where we want to be and where we should be unfortunately can be two very different locations. The egocentric mindset convinces us that we are the masters of our domains and our own life pilots. If things are meant to be, they will be regardless of our own efforts and self-imposed timelines. If we go our own way, we may succeed for a time, but we will crash. I have crashed. Do not be so arrogant as to believe that your plan has no flaws. Be smart, take counsel from those you trust, and pursue the path you should take. If it coincides with taking the path you want to take, congratulations! You are fortunate. But if you are among the many who do not have an easy mingling between the proper path and the desired path, be wise. The world does not revolve around you.

I write this to you not to condemn you as egotistical jerks, for if I were to do that I would be the greatest hypocrite of all. I simply remind you that as the world does not revolve around you, it does not revolve around me. Live life with an abundance of hope and a deficit in entitled expectation. Treat others as well as you possibly can. Remember that you are you and they are not. Stop trying to fit the square peg in the round hole. Enjoy today, and be anxious of tomorrow.