Have you ever been fake for the sake of saving face?
-Cute is What We Aim For, "Do What You Do"
I have spent a sufficient amount of time and words detailing the broader "War of Relevance" here, so I will not recap any of it in this note. If you are curious, you can click the nifty little link and read for yourself.
Equally as important as the war of relevance are the daily battles of relevance. Just like the War of Relevance, these daily battles of relevance often appear innocuous and barely noticeable. They come in a variety of forms and can be potentially dangerous if ignored for too long.
Human beings have an inherent desire to belong. I am not trying to pass myself off as some sort of sage by stating that; it is a simple observation. What troubles me are the lengths that some take in their constant pursuit of belonging.
It starts out small, however. My home page on Facebook is often inundated by pop culture references. One person posts something, and it snowballs to thirty people posting the exact same thing: making reference to an event that had a minimal effect (if any) on their lives at all. Out of the 335 friends I have on here, I doubt that more than 10% could name ten NHL teams. Yet, while the Blackhawks made their run to the Western Conference finals, my main page was constantly plastered with pro-Blackhawks or anti-opponent messages, though most of them had not watched a game all season to that point. When Blink-182 announced their return to the music scene, there were all sorts of status updates made praising their return, one after another, until by the end these updates began to pour in from people who had no knowledge of the band past "Adam's Song" or "All the Small Things".
Posting status updates or Tweets to fit in with the crowd is not hurting anyone, so please do not take this as a personal crusade to eliminate such things. However, these are the beginning of a disturbing trend. Just as people feel the need to post something on Facebook to get the coveted "Like" notification, as a society we feel the need for approval, a need to have our real life "Like button" pressed. We begin to subtly alter who we are to fit into whatever group in which we desire membership. We start watching certain television shows or listening to certain bands so we have something to contribute to the conversation. We alter our speech or even our personal style so that it blends in better with the group. We allow ourselves to become increasingly generic. It is our membership fee for acceptance. The price for hollow victories in the daily battles of relevance is a vanilla society.
In my estimation, there are three general stances taken in these daily battles of relevance. First, there are those whom I discussed above. They are the ones who, to varying extents, allow their pursuit of acceptance to affect their individuality. Unfortunately for them, the pursuit of acceptance never ends, and there is no time for them to rest on their laurels.
The second group is that group who intentionally (and generally quite loudly) bucks the trend of societal norms. At first glance many of these seem to be true individualists and nonconformists, but after more detailed inspection many of them are banded together in a subculture of nonconformity. Embracing anything popular or "trendy" would be risking acceptance in this group. Those belonging to this group will shout their individuality at anyone within hearing range, but in reality, they are nothing more than the other side of the same coin.
The final group is truly inhabited by very few. This group acts not to please others, but to grow in themselves. They are not afraid to take risks or take stands, and though they may not always be right in these stands or risks, they rest well knowing that they were unabashedly themselves. These are the world-changers, the visionaries, the humanitarians. These are the ones who are less concerned with fleeting membership than they are in carving a legacy.
My intent is not to convince you to be part of any of these groups. Admittedly the last group was described in more glowing terms, but my goal is to encourage you to be happy. If you find happiness in feeling just like everyone else, go ahead and do that. If you find your comfort in the vocal minority do that. If you are comfortable in your own skin, then I encourage you to use that comfort to do great things. No matter how you fight these daily battles of relevance, I simply encourage you to not be afraid of being you and do what you do. Nobody can do it better than you.
