2020 in Review: Weathering the Storm

Let me start by admitting that I didn't see this year coming but I refuse to use the word unprecedented at any point in this post beyond this sentence. Let me also state that my story probably isn't much different than any of yours; it is simply my personal harmonization to the song we collectively have sung for the greater part of the last 366 days. With that in mind, I don't know that I have any new or groundbreaking insights to share, but I do want to share my experience, if only for you to know that someone out there commiserates with you. This commences the 17th(!) annual Year in Review blog post.

Adapting
I fully expected this year to one in which I finally enjoyed the fruits of the labors of 2017, 2018, and 2019. In all honesty, the year started off phenomenally. My students had the highest growth percentages on their standardized tests in the school in December 2019 and were making great strides toward meeting or exceeding those numbers on the state benchmark exam in March. I found a rhythm in my diet and exercise and was physically stronger than I had ever been. I obtained approval for the first three chapters of my dissertation individually as well as collectively as a research proposal. I was set to commence research in the spring and wrap up my doctorate by the end of the summer. I had tickets to see some of my favorite bands for the first time with some of my favorite people. Things were trending upward! Then COVID happened

Were I equipped with the powers of foresight, I would not have taken a personal day at work two days before life shut down, as the rest of that school year became more or less a parade of personal days. Life changed on March 13. I never got to see those students in person again. I got sick myself, and even had the gym been open during that time, I would not have gone. I had to take a hiatus from the completion of my doctorate because I could not collect the research necessary to complete my dissertation. I spent three years meticulously laying a path, and I had to divert from it. In order to survive, we each had to adapt to our changing reality. If you are reading this, then you were successful in doing so, and no matter how difficult this year has been, you should be proud of yourselves for that.

Adjusting
Changing realities required changes in habits, routines, goals, and timelines. in some cases, adjusting meant finding new things to fill the void of activities which were not feasible at that time. I wish I could say I adjusted to not going to the gym by creating an awesome routine for myself at home, but I didn't. I started playing Animal Crossing. I got back to the gym when it opened and worked out with while masked, which I did until I got sick *again* in November. I changed some of my methods for data collection so I could continue my research in a virtual setting, which allowed me to end my hiatus from grad school at the end of September. I had to adjust my instructional style for a virtual setting, and while I do not find this particular medium for education ideal, I think the kids and I are doing alright, and we seem to be connecting in spite of the physical difference. I couldn't go to any actual concerts but I got to see some of my favorite bands perform virtually.

Accepting
While adapting and adjusting were challenging at times, perhaps the most difficult lesson I (and probably we) endured in 2020 was that of acceptance. We can fight the tide all we want (and those of you who have known me for a long time know that I have), but there comes a point where survival hinges on acceptance. I had to accept I will become Dr. Duehr in 2021 rather than 2020. A dream delayed is not a dream destroyed. I accept I am in the worst shape I have been in a decade, just as I accept the hard work it will take to return to the strength and stamina I had in March. I accept the missed opportunities of the past that the excess idle time we all had in 2020 brought back to the surface. I accept that with some, distance will only grow, and I accept that I held on to Myrna much longer than I should have. Ultimately, I accept that the good and bad in my life are cyclical, and who we are and who we want to be constantly change with time. Who I am now is who I am meant to be at this moment in time, but who I am now is not who I am meant to be in perpetuity.

Moving Forward
Collectively and individually, the past year has tested our mettle. I learned that success is not always found in the momentous victories but rather in resilience, resolve, and continued survival. I do not want to guarantee a less treacherous journey in the year ahead, but I am optimistic for myself as I am for each of you. I am proud of you for surviving, and I appreciate the connection I have with each of you, whatever that may be. Onward and upward!

2020 in List Form

2020 has been weird. We all know it. I don't have a long list of all these cool experiences this year because most days the only excitement came from the excruciatingly difficult decision to spend the day in pajama pants or workout pants. That said, I still think it's a good exercise to document the things I did enjoy this year. There was some enjoyment amidst the mundanity, after all. The sections will not be the same as in past years, but I think we'll be okay. That said, here are some of the things which brought me joy in 2020. As has been the norm this decade, this is less thoughtful counterpart to my Year in Review post in which I list a bunch of things which were relevant to me in 2019. While, compared to previous years, there was not as much that stood out to me from the realm of music, I was fortunate enough to attend five different concerts and see some bands that have been a consistent part of my listening rotation for over a decade. Here is my 2020 in list form.

Songs
1. Lauv – Feelings
2. The Ghost Inside - Aftermath
3. Spanish Love Songs - Beach Front Property
4. All Time Low - Safe
5. Neck Deep – Telling Stories
6. Silverstein - Bad Habits
7. Movements - No Good Left to Give
8. The Weeknd – Blinding Lights
9. Boston Manor - Monolith
10. Acceptance - Release and Let Go

Albums
1. All Time Low - Wake Up, Sunshine
2. Lauv - How I'm Feeling
3. Spanish Love Songs - Brave Faces, Everyone
4. Acceptance - Wild, Free
5. Taylor Swift - folklore
6. Machine Gun Kelly - Tickets to My Downfall
7. Movements - No Good Left to Give
8. Neck Deep - All Distortions Are Intentional
9. Broadside - Into the Raging Sea
10. Hot Mulligan - you'll be fine

Old Disney Channel TV Shows to Binge on Disney+
1. Stuck in the Middle
2. Hannah Montana
3. Girl Meets World
4. Good Luck Charlie
5. The Suite Life of Zack and Cody
6. Lizzie McGuire
7. Bizaardvark
8. Jonas
9. Phil of the Future
10. Sonny With a Chance

Video Games as Mental/Emotional Diversions
1. Fortnite
2. Animal Crossing: New Horizons
3.Super Smash Bros. Ultimate
4. WWE Battlegrounds