It is important to maintain an attitude of gratitude. Without that attitude, it is easy to become a malcontent, and there are all sorts of problems that can stem from a malcontented lifestyle. However, maintaining a sense of gratitude is not always easy, especially as your world is seemingly falling to pieces around you. How, then, can you be thankful?
Before I answer that question, here is a little bit of perspective. Though 2013 was the worst year of my life to that point, I was feeling particularly resurgent a year ago at this time. Though I had been laid off from my job and had a brief stint at a nightmare of a school, I finally got my job back. Though the final nails had been put into the coffin of my five year complicated relationship, I met someone who not only was everything I had been looking for but also was someone who gave me a reason to be excited about life. For the first time in a long time, I finally had a reason to smile, and I was smiling again.
Fast forward to today. It is not news to any of you who know me well or talk to me on a fairly regular basis that things have not been going well. I spent the past year trying to build upon the foundation that I laid last Thanksgiving. I am not being dramatic when I say that foundation has fallen apart, both personally and professionally. Due to circumstances beyond my control (professionally) and due to my own inability to ride things out and not act like a total fool who can’t help but trip over his own feet (personally), the past few months have been a nightmare from which I cannot seem to wake up. Every time I think things cannot get worse, they have. Things have honestly been so bad that I have had serious doubts about the success of both my present and my future. To be completely honest, I have strongly entertained the idea that I might never get from where I am to where I want to be.
With all that in mind, I anticipated that my annual Thanksgiving post would be rather difficult to write. I thought to myself, “With all that is going wrong, what is there that I am legitimately thankful for?” No matter what, we must find a reason. I realized that while things are far from ideal, I am still blessed. I have much to be grateful for, but two things in particular stand out.
First, I am thankful that my story is not over. I admit that I tend to struggle to see the forest through the trees. When I endure trials, those trials often carry a sense of permanence in my mind. What I forget to realize is that nothing in my life has remained constant. I couldn’t make the good times last. I couldn’t keep my friends from moving away. I couldn’t stay the course with Permacrush without messing it up. Those are facts. What I also need to realize is that the bad times play by those same rules. None of my trials need to be permanent. I have not made any mistakes that have put me in prison or left me without my physical or mental faculties. Yes, for lack of a better term, this chapter of my life may suck. But this book is not over. I am tentatively excited for what is to come.
Second (and equally as important if not more important), I am grateful to have a number of people in my life who not only think much more highly of me than they should, but who also refuse to let me give up. As I’ve said, this year has been tough. My confidence has taken a serious hit. But there are so many people who still believe in me, even as I struggle to find a reason to believe in myself. There are people who have sat and listened to me as I was on the verge of a breakdown who figuratively talked me off the ledge. There are people who have told me that being defeated was not who I am. So many of you have encouraged me to find a reason and keep going, that things are going to be alright in the end and that my day is closer than I think. I’m going to keep going, if only so that I can prove you right. You are my reason to keep going.
No matter what happens in our lives, as long as we still have breath in our lungs and hope in our hearts, we have to be grateful. I know it may seem tough at times, but all it takes is one easy step. Find a reason.
Wednesday, November 26, 2014
Monday, November 10, 2014
Applying 21st Century Educational Principles in a School with 20th Century Resources
Applying 21st Century Educational Principles in a School with 20th Century Resources
Jakob Duehr
Teacher, Alternative Academic Achievement Academy
American College of Education
Introduction
The realm of education is not static; instead, it is constantly evolving and improving so that we can more effectively reach our students. In the 21st Century alone, education has made significant advances in virtually all areas, notably in the integration of technology and new instructional techniques. Put simply, districts, schools, and educators must adapt with the times or they run the risk of inadequately preparing their students both for the next step in their educational journey as well as their lives outside of the classroom. With this in mind, what can a teacher do in a school that, from a resource standpoint, is stuck in the 20th Century? This is a question that is of significant interest to me personally, as I teach in a school that suffers from a severe lack of resources. However, I have learned that there is still a great deal that I can do in my own classroom despite the school’s limitations. Over the past sixteen months (the span of my journey in the Curriculum and Instruction program at the American College of Education), I have been able to identify strategies and principles that are designed to reach my students in meaningful ways.
Background of School
I teach in a small (approximately fifty students), private alternative school located in the south suburbs of Chicago. Our students have been placed at the school as a result of one or more major behavioral or disciplinary infractions at their public school. A significant majority of the student population falls under the African American male demographic, and the majority of our students are on individualized education plans (IEPs) for academic, behavioral, and social/emotional challenges. Most students test well below grade level both on the state examinations and the examinations that they are issued by the school following their enrollment. The behavioral issues that these students come to the building with manifest themselves in the classroom through disinterest at best and disruption at worst.
In his article entitled “The Question of Class”, Gorski (2007) identified a number of characteristics which were indicative of a high-poverty school. These include but are not limited to teachers that are working outside their areas of certification, a figurative revolving door in the teaching staff, and a lack of working computers and/or internet access. All of those characteristics can be found within my school building.
If a visitor was to enter this school building, it would not be out of the ordinary for them to encounter classrooms that had up to four grade levels in the same classroom. There are general education teachers teaching special education classes, and since each classroom is self-contained there are teachers with secondary certificates who must teach subjects outside of their certifications. As a social studies teacher by trade who also has to teach mathematics and science, I am an example of a teacher who works outside of my certifications. Because of the challenges that stem from our student population as well as the thin resources, it is not surprising to discover teachers at this school do not last particularly long and that the school is perpetually under-staffed.
Technology at my school is limited at best. In fact, teachers often joke that their “technology” consists of a whiteboard that can still be erased. Most classrooms have one working computer in total, and that computer is not hooked up to a projector, rendering PowerPoint lectures impossible. As of this writing, the computer lab has five working computers, but since these computers date back to the first year of the George W. Bush administration, they tend to be quite slow. Ultimately, there is no computer in the building that is reliable enough for students to use for any significant amount of work.
Perhaps the greatest challenge to incorporating 21st Century education principles at this school is the fact that the school has no set curriculum. Teachers are given a significant amount of autonomy, as they generally not only get to decide what they are going to teach but also how and what resources they are going to use to teach it. Teachers are even responsible for finding their own books and instructional materials, as the school does not provide such things to the staff. It can be extremely easy for modern educational principles to become an afterthought, as a question on the mind of many teachers is “What in the world am I going to use to teach this lesson, and where am I going to find it?”
Despite all the challenges that present themselves on a daily basis, I do not believe that it is impossible to bring the school into the 21st Century. First, one must recognize that some limitations are not going to change. Barring anything unforeseen, the school is not going to come into a surplus of money to provide teachers with all the resources found in some public school districts. Teachers are going to have to be creative and resourceful. They must also recognize that the integration of technology is not the only way to effectively reach students. We reach students when we can connect to them. In the sections that follow, I have examined and implemented strategies designed to reach our students to ideally put them in a better position to succeed.
Application of Principles
Connecting to Culture
As a middle- class Caucasian teacher from the suburbs, I have a far different cultural background than that of my students. As educators, we cannot use that as an excuse when it comes to reaching students. We must develop an understanding of who our students are and where they come from in order to guide them to where they ultimately want to be. Teaching must respond to culture. One benefit I have had in working in such a small school is the opportunity to truly get to know my students. In a classroom of twenty to thirty students, it is difficult to establish relationships with all students. In a classroom of eight students, however, there is a greater opportunity to establish these relationships. Because I have been able to connect with my students, I have been able to guide my instruction to effectively reach them.
Wood and Jocius (2013) attribute success in culturally responsive teaching to the three C’s: Culturally Responsive Texts, Collaboration, and Critical Conversations. Our goal is always to ensure that our students are engaged, yet many times we are surprised when our outdated (and at times irrelevant) texts fail to resonate with our students. Through the relationships I have established with my students and collaboration with my coworkers, I have been able to find these culturally responsive texts. Bud, Not Buddy is just one of many texts that we have incorporated into our reading instruction to connect learning with culture. It is going to take some critical conversations as a staff as well to discuss which of our reading texts have made an impact on our students and which have failed to hit their mark.
My students have lofty goals and dreams, but a common theme among them is this belief that their backgrounds and experiences preclude them from making a lasting impact on the world around them. One of my favorite units that I have developed combats this thinking. During Black History Month, students have the opportunity to examine the main characters of the Harlem Renaissance. These individuals came from similar socioeconomic backgrounds and experiences as my students, yet they were able to rise above their challenges and positively impact not only their community but the culture of an entire country. Students are given the opportunity to induct one of these characters into the “Harlem Renaissance Hall of Fame”. I have limited the impact of the lack of computers by pairing students up. There is a big ceremony during which students explain and argue the impact of their character to the rest of the class. It is my hope and belief that this unit empowers my students to work to make similar impacts on their communities. This unit is impactful through its connection to culture and can be done with minimal technology use.
Making it Relevant
In the previous section, I briefly touched upon the impact of culturally responsive texts. Alfred Tatum (2006) argues classroom instruction cannot be impactful if no connections are made; that is, the text must be relevant to the student if they are going to extract meaning from it. Students extract value from these texts because the content which coincides with events which are similar to their own backgrounds and experiences (Feger, 2006). It is imperative for classroom instruction to connect to the background, interests, and experiences of the readers and respond to the needs of students. Texts must engage readers and enrich students in what Tatum argues are students’ four primary literacy needs: academic, cultural, social, and emotional.
Relevance can occur outside of the use of texts. In my classroom, I have observed two patterns with my students. First, there is an almost utilitarian attitude within my students when they ask “Why are we learning this?” or “What is having this knowledge going to do for me?” Second, I have observed a desire for control and decision-making in my students. Many of these students come from home situations in which any degree of control has been taken out of their hands. These students are going to be out in the workforce someday, so is important to give them real-world applications and decision-making processes within their course of study.
As a social studies teacher by trade, I love to put my students in the shoes of the individuals they are studying. When we are studying a particular battle, I bring one of the televisions into the classroom and a copy of the short-lived History Channel series Command Decisions. During these lessons, students are able to view a battle as it unfolds. When it comes time for a decision to be made, I pause the video and allow for students to choose what they would do in that situation. We discuss these decisions and their reasoning for the choices they made, then resume the video to evaluate the impact of the choices they would have made. These lessons are always a favorite amongst the students, as they have the opportunity to apply what they have learned in a meaningful way.
Appreciating the Individual
In spite of the fact that we live in a technological age, neither the teachers nor the students are robots. Therefore, it should come as no surprise that students do not learn in the same way and do not necessarily have the capacity to express what they learned in the same way. In a small school like mine, it is easier to appreciate the uniqueness of the individual.
One way in which many teachers within my school building have appreciated the individuality of our students is through the incorporation of Universal Design for Learning (UDL) principles. These principles include multiple means of representation, multiple means for engagement, multiple means for action and expression, and multiple means for assessment (Brand, Favazza, & Dalton, 2012). The aforementioned technological limitations do make multiple means of representation challenging (though the incorporation of the television during the Command Decisions lesson helps to meet that end). We do, however, have a great opportunity for multiple means for action and expression as well as assessment.
This brings us back to the aforementioned Harlem Renaissance unit. In addition to the Harlem Renaissance Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony, students have the opportunity to demonstrate their mastery of the content in a method that is best designed to coincide with their abilities and interests. Students are responsible for producing an artifact that embodies the spirit of the Harlem Renaissance. This could consist of a mural depicting the characters, themes, and events of the Harlem Renaissance. It could be the composition of a poem in the style of Langston Hughes that details some of the issues that they are dealing with in their own lives. It could be a song or a dance or anything that allows students to best express what they have learned. I often tell the students “I do not care how you show me that you learned what I am teaching you. I just care that you learn it.”
Conclusion
Some schools are more fortunate than others. Many schools unfortunately lack the resources and technology to bring their building into the 21st Century. However, a lack of resources does not make for a lost cause. Effective educators must incorporate modern educational principles within their classrooms to effectively guide their students from where they are to where they want to be. In my school, I have worked to reach that end by connecting instruction to culture, bringing relevance to learning, and appreciating the individuality of my students. While some of these students may never test at their appropriate grade level, both their engagement and performance have improved as a result of these applications. These methods have empowered me toward my primary objective as an educator: to put my students in a position to succeed. Through the application of these principles, I believe any educator can reach that goal as well.
References
Brand, S., Favazza, A. E., & Dalton, E. M. (2012). Universal design for learning: A blueprint for success for all learners. Kappa Delta Pi Record, 48(3), 134-139.
Feger, M. (2006). “I want to read”: How culturally relevant texts increase student engagement in reading. Multicultural Education, 13(3), 18-19.
Gorski, P. C. (2007). The question of class. The Education Digest, 73(2), 30-33.
Tatum, A. W. (2006). Engaging African American males in reading. Educational Leadership, 63(5), 44-49.
Wood, S., & Jocius, R. (2013). Combating 'I hate this stupid book!': Black males and critical literacy. Reading Teacher, 66(8), 661.
Jakob Duehr
Teacher, Alternative Academic Achievement Academy
American College of Education
Introduction
The realm of education is not static; instead, it is constantly evolving and improving so that we can more effectively reach our students. In the 21st Century alone, education has made significant advances in virtually all areas, notably in the integration of technology and new instructional techniques. Put simply, districts, schools, and educators must adapt with the times or they run the risk of inadequately preparing their students both for the next step in their educational journey as well as their lives outside of the classroom. With this in mind, what can a teacher do in a school that, from a resource standpoint, is stuck in the 20th Century? This is a question that is of significant interest to me personally, as I teach in a school that suffers from a severe lack of resources. However, I have learned that there is still a great deal that I can do in my own classroom despite the school’s limitations. Over the past sixteen months (the span of my journey in the Curriculum and Instruction program at the American College of Education), I have been able to identify strategies and principles that are designed to reach my students in meaningful ways.
Background of School
I teach in a small (approximately fifty students), private alternative school located in the south suburbs of Chicago. Our students have been placed at the school as a result of one or more major behavioral or disciplinary infractions at their public school. A significant majority of the student population falls under the African American male demographic, and the majority of our students are on individualized education plans (IEPs) for academic, behavioral, and social/emotional challenges. Most students test well below grade level both on the state examinations and the examinations that they are issued by the school following their enrollment. The behavioral issues that these students come to the building with manifest themselves in the classroom through disinterest at best and disruption at worst.
In his article entitled “The Question of Class”, Gorski (2007) identified a number of characteristics which were indicative of a high-poverty school. These include but are not limited to teachers that are working outside their areas of certification, a figurative revolving door in the teaching staff, and a lack of working computers and/or internet access. All of those characteristics can be found within my school building.
If a visitor was to enter this school building, it would not be out of the ordinary for them to encounter classrooms that had up to four grade levels in the same classroom. There are general education teachers teaching special education classes, and since each classroom is self-contained there are teachers with secondary certificates who must teach subjects outside of their certifications. As a social studies teacher by trade who also has to teach mathematics and science, I am an example of a teacher who works outside of my certifications. Because of the challenges that stem from our student population as well as the thin resources, it is not surprising to discover teachers at this school do not last particularly long and that the school is perpetually under-staffed.
Technology at my school is limited at best. In fact, teachers often joke that their “technology” consists of a whiteboard that can still be erased. Most classrooms have one working computer in total, and that computer is not hooked up to a projector, rendering PowerPoint lectures impossible. As of this writing, the computer lab has five working computers, but since these computers date back to the first year of the George W. Bush administration, they tend to be quite slow. Ultimately, there is no computer in the building that is reliable enough for students to use for any significant amount of work.
Perhaps the greatest challenge to incorporating 21st Century education principles at this school is the fact that the school has no set curriculum. Teachers are given a significant amount of autonomy, as they generally not only get to decide what they are going to teach but also how and what resources they are going to use to teach it. Teachers are even responsible for finding their own books and instructional materials, as the school does not provide such things to the staff. It can be extremely easy for modern educational principles to become an afterthought, as a question on the mind of many teachers is “What in the world am I going to use to teach this lesson, and where am I going to find it?”
Despite all the challenges that present themselves on a daily basis, I do not believe that it is impossible to bring the school into the 21st Century. First, one must recognize that some limitations are not going to change. Barring anything unforeseen, the school is not going to come into a surplus of money to provide teachers with all the resources found in some public school districts. Teachers are going to have to be creative and resourceful. They must also recognize that the integration of technology is not the only way to effectively reach students. We reach students when we can connect to them. In the sections that follow, I have examined and implemented strategies designed to reach our students to ideally put them in a better position to succeed.
Application of Principles
Connecting to Culture
As a middle- class Caucasian teacher from the suburbs, I have a far different cultural background than that of my students. As educators, we cannot use that as an excuse when it comes to reaching students. We must develop an understanding of who our students are and where they come from in order to guide them to where they ultimately want to be. Teaching must respond to culture. One benefit I have had in working in such a small school is the opportunity to truly get to know my students. In a classroom of twenty to thirty students, it is difficult to establish relationships with all students. In a classroom of eight students, however, there is a greater opportunity to establish these relationships. Because I have been able to connect with my students, I have been able to guide my instruction to effectively reach them.
Wood and Jocius (2013) attribute success in culturally responsive teaching to the three C’s: Culturally Responsive Texts, Collaboration, and Critical Conversations. Our goal is always to ensure that our students are engaged, yet many times we are surprised when our outdated (and at times irrelevant) texts fail to resonate with our students. Through the relationships I have established with my students and collaboration with my coworkers, I have been able to find these culturally responsive texts. Bud, Not Buddy is just one of many texts that we have incorporated into our reading instruction to connect learning with culture. It is going to take some critical conversations as a staff as well to discuss which of our reading texts have made an impact on our students and which have failed to hit their mark.
My students have lofty goals and dreams, but a common theme among them is this belief that their backgrounds and experiences preclude them from making a lasting impact on the world around them. One of my favorite units that I have developed combats this thinking. During Black History Month, students have the opportunity to examine the main characters of the Harlem Renaissance. These individuals came from similar socioeconomic backgrounds and experiences as my students, yet they were able to rise above their challenges and positively impact not only their community but the culture of an entire country. Students are given the opportunity to induct one of these characters into the “Harlem Renaissance Hall of Fame”. I have limited the impact of the lack of computers by pairing students up. There is a big ceremony during which students explain and argue the impact of their character to the rest of the class. It is my hope and belief that this unit empowers my students to work to make similar impacts on their communities. This unit is impactful through its connection to culture and can be done with minimal technology use.
Making it Relevant
In the previous section, I briefly touched upon the impact of culturally responsive texts. Alfred Tatum (2006) argues classroom instruction cannot be impactful if no connections are made; that is, the text must be relevant to the student if they are going to extract meaning from it. Students extract value from these texts because the content which coincides with events which are similar to their own backgrounds and experiences (Feger, 2006). It is imperative for classroom instruction to connect to the background, interests, and experiences of the readers and respond to the needs of students. Texts must engage readers and enrich students in what Tatum argues are students’ four primary literacy needs: academic, cultural, social, and emotional.
Relevance can occur outside of the use of texts. In my classroom, I have observed two patterns with my students. First, there is an almost utilitarian attitude within my students when they ask “Why are we learning this?” or “What is having this knowledge going to do for me?” Second, I have observed a desire for control and decision-making in my students. Many of these students come from home situations in which any degree of control has been taken out of their hands. These students are going to be out in the workforce someday, so is important to give them real-world applications and decision-making processes within their course of study.
As a social studies teacher by trade, I love to put my students in the shoes of the individuals they are studying. When we are studying a particular battle, I bring one of the televisions into the classroom and a copy of the short-lived History Channel series Command Decisions. During these lessons, students are able to view a battle as it unfolds. When it comes time for a decision to be made, I pause the video and allow for students to choose what they would do in that situation. We discuss these decisions and their reasoning for the choices they made, then resume the video to evaluate the impact of the choices they would have made. These lessons are always a favorite amongst the students, as they have the opportunity to apply what they have learned in a meaningful way.
Appreciating the Individual
In spite of the fact that we live in a technological age, neither the teachers nor the students are robots. Therefore, it should come as no surprise that students do not learn in the same way and do not necessarily have the capacity to express what they learned in the same way. In a small school like mine, it is easier to appreciate the uniqueness of the individual.
One way in which many teachers within my school building have appreciated the individuality of our students is through the incorporation of Universal Design for Learning (UDL) principles. These principles include multiple means of representation, multiple means for engagement, multiple means for action and expression, and multiple means for assessment (Brand, Favazza, & Dalton, 2012). The aforementioned technological limitations do make multiple means of representation challenging (though the incorporation of the television during the Command Decisions lesson helps to meet that end). We do, however, have a great opportunity for multiple means for action and expression as well as assessment.
This brings us back to the aforementioned Harlem Renaissance unit. In addition to the Harlem Renaissance Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony, students have the opportunity to demonstrate their mastery of the content in a method that is best designed to coincide with their abilities and interests. Students are responsible for producing an artifact that embodies the spirit of the Harlem Renaissance. This could consist of a mural depicting the characters, themes, and events of the Harlem Renaissance. It could be the composition of a poem in the style of Langston Hughes that details some of the issues that they are dealing with in their own lives. It could be a song or a dance or anything that allows students to best express what they have learned. I often tell the students “I do not care how you show me that you learned what I am teaching you. I just care that you learn it.”
Conclusion
Some schools are more fortunate than others. Many schools unfortunately lack the resources and technology to bring their building into the 21st Century. However, a lack of resources does not make for a lost cause. Effective educators must incorporate modern educational principles within their classrooms to effectively guide their students from where they are to where they want to be. In my school, I have worked to reach that end by connecting instruction to culture, bringing relevance to learning, and appreciating the individuality of my students. While some of these students may never test at their appropriate grade level, both their engagement and performance have improved as a result of these applications. These methods have empowered me toward my primary objective as an educator: to put my students in a position to succeed. Through the application of these principles, I believe any educator can reach that goal as well.
References
Brand, S., Favazza, A. E., & Dalton, E. M. (2012). Universal design for learning: A blueprint for success for all learners. Kappa Delta Pi Record, 48(3), 134-139.
Feger, M. (2006). “I want to read”: How culturally relevant texts increase student engagement in reading. Multicultural Education, 13(3), 18-19.
Gorski, P. C. (2007). The question of class. The Education Digest, 73(2), 30-33.
Tatum, A. W. (2006). Engaging African American males in reading. Educational Leadership, 63(5), 44-49.
Wood, S., & Jocius, R. (2013). Combating 'I hate this stupid book!': Black males and critical literacy. Reading Teacher, 66(8), 661.
Sunday, November 2, 2014
The Myth of the Universal Fix
If you read my last post (which you can always read HERE if you missed it), you can tell that there are a number of things in my life that are not where I want them to be. What I am doing just isn’t working. It’s time for me to take a step back to reevaluate and refocus. This post will hopefully allow me to do exactly that.
I’m going to go out on a limb and say that if you’re reading this, there’s something about your life that you would like to change. If you’re anything like me, you are probably dealing with a whole litany of things that need to be changed (if only for the sake of your sanity). When it rains, it pours, and I’m in the midst of a torrential downpour.
One of the biggest traps that we (or at least I) fall into is letting problems in one area of my life seep into others. Around the time I returned from my layoff last fall, work has been exceedingly challenging. If I can be completely honest, this year has felt like a nightmare that keeps getting worse. The worst part is that most of the challenges are completely out of my control. Even if I do things to the best of my ability, things may not (and to this point have not) get better.
When one area of my life starts to falter, I try to overcompensate in other areas. As I said in my last post, I met someone about a year ago. For the sake of this post let’s refer to her as “Permacrush”, which is how I usually refer to her on social media. The worse things at work get, the more pressure I place on myself to have something in my life go my way. As a result, I place all sorts of pressure on myself, and in doing so, I place unnecessary pressures on her. By looking to her to be make every aspect of my life instantly better, I act in ways I normally wouldn’t. I say things that I normally wouldn’t (I can’t begin to tell you how many times I’ve looked at a phone and hated myself for the stupid text message I just sent). I lose sight of who I am and where I want to be because I have transferred all the other issues in my life into this one issue.
The fact of the matter is that there isn’t a universal fix, and I’m learning that I can’t try to find one. Permacrush isn’t going to fix my work situation. The ideal classroom isn’t going to make my relationships go exactly how I want them to go. Peak physical condition isn’t going to bring my friends back to Chicagoland. If my life is going to turn around, it’s because I attack each issue as its own separate entity. I need to find joy in the journey at work, even if that journey is riddled with pain and stress. I need to get Permacrush off the pedestal I placed her on and treat her like a person, not some sort of goddess. It puts too much of a burden on both of us otherwise. I’ve never been the greatest at patience, but if I’m going to make things work, I’m going to have to take it one day at a time, one battle at a time, one decision at a time. I can’t promise that I’m going to get there, but I can promise that I will take a different route than the one I have been travelling. There is no universal fix, and I can’t make one.
I’m going to go out on a limb and say that if you’re reading this, there’s something about your life that you would like to change. If you’re anything like me, you are probably dealing with a whole litany of things that need to be changed (if only for the sake of your sanity). When it rains, it pours, and I’m in the midst of a torrential downpour.
One of the biggest traps that we (or at least I) fall into is letting problems in one area of my life seep into others. Around the time I returned from my layoff last fall, work has been exceedingly challenging. If I can be completely honest, this year has felt like a nightmare that keeps getting worse. The worst part is that most of the challenges are completely out of my control. Even if I do things to the best of my ability, things may not (and to this point have not) get better.
When one area of my life starts to falter, I try to overcompensate in other areas. As I said in my last post, I met someone about a year ago. For the sake of this post let’s refer to her as “Permacrush”, which is how I usually refer to her on social media. The worse things at work get, the more pressure I place on myself to have something in my life go my way. As a result, I place all sorts of pressure on myself, and in doing so, I place unnecessary pressures on her. By looking to her to be make every aspect of my life instantly better, I act in ways I normally wouldn’t. I say things that I normally wouldn’t (I can’t begin to tell you how many times I’ve looked at a phone and hated myself for the stupid text message I just sent). I lose sight of who I am and where I want to be because I have transferred all the other issues in my life into this one issue.
The fact of the matter is that there isn’t a universal fix, and I’m learning that I can’t try to find one. Permacrush isn’t going to fix my work situation. The ideal classroom isn’t going to make my relationships go exactly how I want them to go. Peak physical condition isn’t going to bring my friends back to Chicagoland. If my life is going to turn around, it’s because I attack each issue as its own separate entity. I need to find joy in the journey at work, even if that journey is riddled with pain and stress. I need to get Permacrush off the pedestal I placed her on and treat her like a person, not some sort of goddess. It puts too much of a burden on both of us otherwise. I’ve never been the greatest at patience, but if I’m going to make things work, I’m going to have to take it one day at a time, one battle at a time, one decision at a time. I can’t promise that I’m going to get there, but I can promise that I will take a different route than the one I have been travelling. There is no universal fix, and I can’t make one.
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