Those of you who know me well should not be surprised by this entry. In fact, it is one of the few traditions I still hold to. This is going to be different than in years past.
Let’s set a few things straight. I am not here to lament my current situation, nor am I going to cry over the spilt milk of my past pursuits. In fact, I am going to man up and take responsibility for each and every one of my previous failures. They were all undeniably my fault. Over the course of time I have been guilty of being shy, creepy, awkward, pushy, over-the-top, and overbearing. I do not deny any of these allegations. Unfortunately they were an unwanted side effect of growing up. A lot of them have finally gone away, and the wool is off my eyes so I can admit that I was guilty of a lot of foolishness. I am thankful for that at least.
Outside of the two-edged sword that is being Jakob Duehr, there have been other reasons for my failures. A large one is the notion that I have pursued people that were absolutely wrong for me. The past 18 months I have more or less run the gauntlet of people that I had no reason of involving myself with. I’m not saying that they are awful people or scum of the earth or anything like that. However, their current situations and views were utterly incompatible with mine, and I was a complete idiot for thinking otherwise. Again, I take all responsibility for it.
My current situation really is not all that awful. I can talk to potential interests without coming across as a total loser these days, and there’s a certain confidence that accompanies me these days. I no longer fear failure, as I have tasted its venom and have managed to survive. I even met someone pretty exciting a little while back. Though I am growing increasingly frustrated by the lack of contact I have had with this new someone as of late, I am definitely interested in seeing where it takes me, if anywhere.
All that I have written above brings me to the fourteenth day of February. I am not so arrogant to suggest that the holiday on that date be abolished. I don’t really mind all the jewelry commercials, and I’m sure the candy stores and florists don’t mind the temporary boost in sales. However, the day serves as a bitter pill for me. It is a 24 hour reminder that where I am in that facet of my life does not match where I would like to be. In some cases, it is a reminder that others have what I wanted.
Lastly, don’t even think of commenting this with “the right one is out there for you somewhere”. I know that, so don’t bother telling me that. It’s not an issue of if. I’m just not all that excited about waiting.
Let’s set a few things straight. I am not here to lament my current situation, nor am I going to cry over the spilt milk of my past pursuits. In fact, I am going to man up and take responsibility for each and every one of my previous failures. They were all undeniably my fault. Over the course of time I have been guilty of being shy, creepy, awkward, pushy, over-the-top, and overbearing. I do not deny any of these allegations. Unfortunately they were an unwanted side effect of growing up. A lot of them have finally gone away, and the wool is off my eyes so I can admit that I was guilty of a lot of foolishness. I am thankful for that at least.
Outside of the two-edged sword that is being Jakob Duehr, there have been other reasons for my failures. A large one is the notion that I have pursued people that were absolutely wrong for me. The past 18 months I have more or less run the gauntlet of people that I had no reason of involving myself with. I’m not saying that they are awful people or scum of the earth or anything like that. However, their current situations and views were utterly incompatible with mine, and I was a complete idiot for thinking otherwise. Again, I take all responsibility for it.
My current situation really is not all that awful. I can talk to potential interests without coming across as a total loser these days, and there’s a certain confidence that accompanies me these days. I no longer fear failure, as I have tasted its venom and have managed to survive. I even met someone pretty exciting a little while back. Though I am growing increasingly frustrated by the lack of contact I have had with this new someone as of late, I am definitely interested in seeing where it takes me, if anywhere.
All that I have written above brings me to the fourteenth day of February. I am not so arrogant to suggest that the holiday on that date be abolished. I don’t really mind all the jewelry commercials, and I’m sure the candy stores and florists don’t mind the temporary boost in sales. However, the day serves as a bitter pill for me. It is a 24 hour reminder that where I am in that facet of my life does not match where I would like to be. In some cases, it is a reminder that others have what I wanted.
Lastly, don’t even think of commenting this with “the right one is out there for you somewhere”. I know that, so don’t bother telling me that. It’s not an issue of if. I’m just not all that excited about waiting.
Something I saw in one of the aforementioned jewelry commercials
