One of the benefits of growing older is the ability to put distance from memories in order to view things from an objective perspective. After a while, the rose fades from the glasses. I am long enough removed from my time as a camper to recount my experiences objectively. It has been ten years since my first year of Senior High Camp at Lake Williamson (the happiest place on earth~!), and it seems only fair that I repay the place that provided me with so many memories with a thorough synopsis of my experiences during my years as a camper. I decided not to include anything from my time at Junior High Camp in 2001 or from my time as a counselor in 2006. This is strictly about my time at Senior High Camp.
I should probably get this clarified right away. Though this was called “Senior High Camp”, there was no camping involved whatsoever. Lake Williamson is more or less a resort, and all 800 of us were “roughing it” in air-conditioned rooms. Because I want this post to be as thorough as possible, I have every component of camp neatly organized by section. There were a number of people and things that comprised the camp experience, and each will get their due.
THE MAN AT THE TOP
There was a revolving door of speakers, counselors, and team captains, but “The Man” at camp was the District Youth Director. For my first three years, that position belonged to the venerable Ron Heitman. I have yet to meet someone with a disposition as kind or as peaceful as Ron. He was always accommodating and approachable, and he always made you feel like you were the most important person in the room. Put simply, he was a great guy and the perfect person for the job.
Between the camps of 2004 and 2005, Ron moved on to a different position, and his seat was filled by Jeff Kossack. I can’t say anything bad about Jeff as a person, and he was approachable as well. While Ron kind of had a folksy, old-fashioned way about him, Jeff was very cutting-edge and technology savvy. Under his watch, I felt a lot of things begin to change and get brought into the 21st Century. It is not my place to judge whether or not that was a good thing. Personally, I was in the “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” boat, but I both understand and respect his forward-thinking philosophies.
THE OTHER AUTHORITIES
In addition to the Director, there were a number of “Camp Legends” in positions of authority. I will never forget the booming voice of Phil Schneider, the Dean of Camp. He successfully mastered the art of being simultaneously jovial and menacing. Also in a position of authority was Jon Keck. I don’t recall what his exact position was, but I remember him reading out the mail and his enthusiastic announcement of TACO BOATS~!
The position of Activity Director was a two man job. The position was handled by my youth pastor, Doug Harris, and Brian Werner. They were kind of a Statler and Waldorf team, with witty one-liners sprinkled in with their commentary. Doug would name drop John Maxwell an awful lot during the activities, too. I still have no idea who that is…
THE SERVICES
This is the part where “surviving a Pentecostal youth camp” comes into play. The services were ridiculously long… even longer than this blog post (*rimshot*)! Services started out with some worship, and then they got down to action.
Though they differed from year to year due to the speaker, the services generally followed a basic skeletal shape (special thanks to Rob Dillman for his assistance with this section).
Monday: Fire & Brimstone. It was basically a “Get right with God now, or I hear that Hell is balmy this time of year.” It was the typical Pentecostal repentance sermon, complete with emotional altar call.
Tuesday: The Mixed Bag. This was pretty much the speaker’s only chance to deviate from the script. Sadly, I don’t remember anything memorable from a Tuesday service, other than that usually ended at a more reasonable time than the other services.
Wednesday: The Tongues Night. You can’t go to a Pentecostal youth camp without expecting a significant amount of time devoted to being filled with the Holy Spirit. If you do not come from a Pentecostal background, please read up on this if it interests you, because this post is already going to be lengthy enough without this explanation. What you need to know is that this service always went really long and had an extremely emotional altar call. This may be irreverent, but I always believed that this service intentionally went long because a cookout followed the service immediately thereafter. The long service gave the cafeteria staff sufficient time to grill enough burgers and hot dogs for approximately 1000 people.
Thursday: The Now Go Out and Live It Night. It is the last chance for the speaker to flex his muscle, as the Friday morning service was a serene communion service led by Ron. It is basically a summation of the previous three messages with an added emphasis on walking the walk outside the camp bubble.
When I said these services went long, I’m talking three hour minimum. The “Be Filled with the Holy Spirit Before We Fill Your Stomach” and “Now Go Out and Live It” nights could go at least four hours. They really need do adopt the Doug Harris Service Model: Emotional yet Efficient. I have never been to a Doug Harris service that lasted more than 90 minutes. He is clear and concise, and he does not make me fall asleep (save one ill-fated sermon about the construction of the Temple). At the very least, they should have let some of the students leave for snack time. Not every altar call is going to be pertinent to my life. If it is an altar call about substance abuse, I am not going to repent. I don’t need to because I am straightedge. The services also led to some weird moments (which I will detail later). I understand that this is a church camp, and that church needs to be a focal point. I just think that it can and should be done better.
THE LIVE MUSIC
Camp always made use of a “worship band”. I never completely verified this, but it was my belief that they gathered the best of the best musicians from the different Illinois churches to create a supergroup for the week. I don’t even remember the name of the person or group who led the music in 2002. What I do remember is that they employed the use of a female backup singer who literally only served the purpose of singing the words “spring rain” during the infamous “Mercy Is Falling” song. In 2003 and 2005, the music was led by the incomparable Steve Andres. My friends and I (mostly me, admittedly) had a very irrational and unhealthy obsession with Mr. Andres. He was talented, yes, but we (I) treated him as though he were a rock god. I even created a fake MySpace music page for The Andres Experience. In 2004, lead duties were assumed by the underrated Dave Mudd. Pastor Doug had the pleasure of embarrassing me and creating a very uncomfortable moment by introducing me to Dave and telling him that I was disappointed that he was not Steve Andres. Dave was a good sport and took it in stride, but I was quite embarrassed to say the least. All of these musicians were very skilled, and they helped to foster an atmosphere that was very conducive to Pentecostal worship, both during the service and during the morning song session after the Activity Director’s Dream.
THE SPEAKERS
While the general topics of the messages followed a certain pattern, the speakers differed in their style and delivery. Personally, I always believed that the best speakers were the ones that were the least gimmicky, so to speak. Allow me to examine the four speakers, but before I do, please note that I am only examining their methods and quirks and not questioning their love for God or for youth.
2002: Greg Hubbard. Mr. Hubbard was a very memorable man. He possessed an uncanny ability to perspire. We were able to tell how close he was to being done speaking by the percentage of his shirt that was completely drenched in sweat. He was an exceptional table tennis player. He had a strange fixation with the word buzzard. He also was the keynote speaker for Momentum Youth Convention in 2004.
2003: Pat Schatzline. Hello, gimmicky. From T-Shirt slogan-worthy sermon titles (Someone’s Got a Crush on You, Let It Rain, etc.) to having us dip our appendages in mud and ring a bell (I can’t remember if both those things occurred on the same night or not) to a very ill-conceived simulation to “I Can Only Imagine” in which he brought up a person who was seemingly stricken with cerebral palsy, only to get up to dance like Bekki Ehrich did to “Alabaster Box”, he was as gimmicky as they came. With those gimmicks came excruciatingly long services and some uncomfortable prophecies. Not exactly my cup of tea, but I know his style and words resonated with others.
2004: Scotty Gibbons. The opposite of the previous year entirely, Scotty was a calm, mild-mannered man who let his message speak for itself. He didn’t do a bunch of goofy things. He just spoke, and his words brought forth healing and peace. He was hands-down my favorite speaker.
2005: Mark Brewer. Mark was from Texas, and he brought his unique southern charm to the pulpit. He was the most brash and direct speaker of the four, but it brought forth the necessary uncomfortable feelings that lead to true introspection and change. He also befriended Merrill, and since I was with Merrill, I got to know Mark better than the previous speakers.
THE COUNSELORS
Each room of campers had a counselor, or as I like to call them, the masochistic sap who had the burden of supervising 10 teens at almost all times for an entire week. Counselors usually fell under one of two categories. They were either youth pastors/leaders who wanted or needed responsibility while their kids were out having fun, or the recently-graduated campers who desperately wanted to latch on to their glory days (me in 2006). Let’s take a closer look at each of my four counselors.
2002: Rob Matheny. Rob was the youth pastor at another church in the Chicago suburbs. He had the misfortune of dealing with some very difficult students. From a guy who either tried to blow up the toilet or was smoking in the bathroom to another guy who probably is currently imprisoned, Rob was at the end of his rope by the first night. His admittance to knowing the martial art of “Wang Chung” did not help matters either. He was exasperated by Friday, and was happy to see each of us go.
2003: Rob Matheny 2: Electric Boogaloo. By some strange twist of fate, I wound up with Rob Matheny in 2003 as well. Because our roommates were much more docile, we got a kinder and gentler Rob Matheny in return. Because he was not under so much stress, it made the time spent in our room much better.
2004: Scott Wiersma (or something like that). Scott was from Marengo, Illinois. If I’m not mistaken, he was a fireman/youth leader and not a youth pastor. He was older than most of the other counselors. What I do know is that he was a top-notch counselor. He took the time with each and every one of us to see how the week was going and how we were feeling. The fact that he genuinely cared about each of us so much after only knowing us for a short amount of time was never lost on me.
2005: Brian Filippin. One word could probably sum up his week: Overmatched. Brian was a nice guy, but was very young and looked even younger. He also had the “pleasure” of dealing with the worst people I ever experience at that camp. They literally had no respect for him or anything he had to say, and that made for an extremely uncomfortable week. Brian probably would’ve made the perfect counselor for Junior High Camp that year.
THE FOOD
During my first two years as a camper, the food was awful. There is no way of getting around it. At some point, Lake Williamson must have hired a new cafeteria staff, because there was a marked improvement in the quality of the food during my later years of camp. My favorite meals were the notorious “Taco Boats” and the French Toast Sticks on Friday morning that served as an edible reminder that camp was about to end.
In addition to the meals that were served, a staple of camp was “Snack Time”, the event which occurred between the evening service and the viewing of the day’s highlights. This gathering was more about socializing than eating, and I rarely bought a snack. I did, however, make good use out of the unlimited refills at the “Beverage Center”. I downed dozens of glasses of soft drinks in hopes that it would ease my nerves and grant me the courage to approach Jessica without looking like a total moron. Sadly, it did not.
THE ROOMMATES
Each room had nine campers and a counselor, so even if you were lucky and got to room with three people from your own church, you still had five strangers. The other kids usually came from a very small town in Southern Illinois, and if you were lucky, you would become cordial at best. Some roommates were more memorable than others, but I am going to try my best to detail as many as possible.
2002: We spent the week in Lakeside, a building that was more hotel than motel. I would spend the next three years at the centrally-located Clark Hall. In addition to Rob and Merrill, we roomed with the guy who tried to blow up a toilet (or smoke… still don’t know which), his brother, a guy named Patrick from Rob Matheny’s church (who was actually pretty cool), Jason (the guy who is likely in prison), some guy who brought Depends to wear as a fashion statement, and a quiet, wiry kid whose only moment of relevance occurred when Jason accidentally gave him a bloody nose whilst flailing around like the maniac that he was. Our room was frequently visited by the security team.
2003: I roomed with Rob again, and in addition to the return of Rob Matheny, Patrick returned as well. In addition to those guys, we had a guy named Derek and his younger brother whose name escapes me, a very cordial fellow named Chip, two Samoan twins named Keegan and Jaimon, and a guy from their church named Seth (who I found slightly annoying for some inexplicable reason). This room was good. Security only came once, and that was to inform us that we were up past lights out.
2004: Best room ever. I got to room with Dan and my cousin Andy, as well as the (often unintentionally) hilarious Mike Cavallone, who also went to our church. We had two young guys (one whose name was Jacob, so I went by “JD” for the week) who were fun and well-behaved, a guy named Ryan (who was crowed Mr. Lake Williamson that year) who was all sorts of cool, David, who drank obscene amounts of water, and Jeff, a relatively quiet but thoughtful guy who attended the same church as our counselor. We all got along fairly well, and the young guys took the rap for me from some girls because we ate all their cereal. Good times.
2005: I can’t even begin to explain how bad this week was. I was with Rob and Merrill, which was nice, but I would’ve had traded them for a room full of strangers as long as the strangers were well-behaved. Our room was full of obnoxious people. They stayed up all night telling obviously fabricated stories of their various exploits. They didn’t like Merrill, Rob, and I because we didn’t participate in the verbal debauchery. One of the geniuses even urinated on our counselor in the middle of the night (and for reasons that are still unbeknownst to me was not sent home). I don’t even want to take the time to describe each roommate in detail. It was that rough.
OTHER CAMPERS
Thankfully, if you didn’t really like your roommates (or the other people from your church), there were hundreds of other teens to meet. I met a number of them during my time there, and while some did not make a major impact on my life, others did. I’ll take a little time name-dropping (or nickname-dropping in many cases) the lesser members before discussing the ones who made a big impact.
Miscellaneous Campers
• “Jack the Ripper”, whose claim to fame was using his mouth to make loud flatulent noises and stealing Rob’s towel to wipe his sweaty body.
• The “Licking Girls”, who, as their name implied, licked anything and everything. They probably are in quarantine today.
• Juren, who made me so distraught that I threw my gum at him, causing me to feel so much remorse that I did not chew gum for the next five years
• The weird dudes with a monkey sock puppet
• Tabitha, who we really only hung around with in order to do the meal call that my grandma used to do to her cat of the same name
• Derek, Hoover’s friend who was loud and hilarious
• The guys from Sullivan and Decatur whose names I never learned. You were always friendly to me.
Hoover: I actually met Daniel Hoover in 2001. He irritated me because I thought he was trying to hit on the girls from my church, a notion which the Stone girls did nothing to suppress. After we cleared the air, we became good friends. He was a big part of my camp experience in 2002 and 2004, and he really encouraged me to man up and talk to the girl I was interested in. Though we don’t talk as often as we used to, I know he’s only ever an IM or text away, and we had a good time when we met up in Schaumburg in 2010.
The Girls
Even though this was a church camp, a lot of the camp experience had to do with “camp relationships”. It was inevitable, especially with 800 adolescents in the same place. I would be remiss if I did not mention some of the girls I met during my camp years.
Mollie: I met Mollie through the late, great Katie Prosapio. Mollie had roomed with the Stone girls one year and had kept in touch. The Stone girls absolutely adored her. I got to know Mollie and became a big fan of hers myself. We did the whole “long distance online dating” thing in early 2003, and though it didn’t work out, we remained friends and maintain sporadic contact to this day.
Con4t, Rach, and Kim: I lump them into one category because they went to the same church. I met Con4t in 2004, when we were part of the amazing Orange Team that fell just short in our quest for victory. We renewed acquaintances in 2005, when we were once again teammates (this time on the Red Team). It was also in 2005 that I met her friends, Rach and Kim, and they were seven shades of awesome. For some strange reason, they put glitter on me and called me “Moonbeam”. I let them because they were cute, and because I developed a bit of a crush on Con4t (especially because Jessica did not attend camp that year). I kept in touch with them after camp for a couple years, but people grow apart. Such is life. Kim is still one of my Facebook friends. I can only assume the other two are doing well.
Jessica: You didn’t think I could write a post about camp without spending a significant chunk of wordage on this one, did you? If there is one person that comes to mind when I think about camp, it is Jessica O’Neil. I don’t even know where to start. Actually, that’s a lie. I know exactly where this story starts. It all started at the Coca Cola machine in the Activity Center at the first day of Camp 2002. If you know me at all, you know that I don’t like to settle, especially when it comes to women. So it should come as no surprise to you that the most attractive girl in the whole camp was the one that caught my eye. She was wearing a white spaghetti-strap top and gray sweatpants that had “Angel” printed across the backside. She told me I could cut her in line because she was just waiting for her friend. I told her that I was just waiting as well.
Being the awkward dork that I was, things were not smooth sailing. Striking up conversation with her was very difficult from that point on. One time when I tried to gently brush past her to get her to notice me, I failed and knocked her over! It was mainly due to chance and due to some great friends that I even learned her name and took a picture with her. I didn’t even have the guts to ask her for her phone number. I had to have Nico do it for me. I don’t know if it was pity or if she saw a diamond amidst a whole heap of rough, but she gave him her number to give to me.
I did a decent job of keeping in touch after that. It was the internet, so it was easier for me to gain artificial courage. When it came time for Camp 2003, I was in the midst of a personal renaissance and had gained a small amount of confidence. I talked to her a bit, but never as much as I wanted, partly due to lingering shyness but mostly because of her blonde friend who scared the living daylights out of me.
When 2004 rolled around, my interest in her was at an all-time high. Unfortunately, so was my awkwardness. I was deathly afraid to approach her, because I long believed that she was well out of my league. When we said goodbye that last day, little did I know that it would be eight years and counting until we would see one another again.
It probably surprises many that the two of us still keep in contact after 10 years. Because of our different schedules, we do not talk as often as I would like, but I have an inkling that may change in the future. When I met Jessica, she was absolutely beautiful on the outside, but still a bit of a work in progress otherwise. That’s not the case anymore. While the outward beauty has only gotten better over time, I am also so proud of the person she has become, and talking to her always makes me smile. I don’t know how she’s put up with me for all these years, but I’m glad she has. Would I still date her if the opportunity arose? You bet! And who knows? Maybe it will…
THE HIGHLIGHT VIDEOS
The last thing we did at night as one large congregated group was gather in the auditorium and watch the highlights of the day. The tech crew that they had were pretty savvy for the time period (early 2000s), and they were able to create a video set to music displaying the activities of the day. It was always a huge deal to see yourself on the video, if only for a second or two. It was an even bigger deal to hear people cheering for you when they saw you. It usually meant they thought you were cute. I know I cheered my lungs out every time I saw Jessica on that video! I had a few longish (5 seconds~!) appearances on the 2005 highlights, but my pre-2005 appearances were usually short. At the end of the week, the highlight videos were always available for sale, and I still have my copies of the 2002, 2003, and 2005 videos. Sadly, my 2004 DVD got lost in early 2007, which is a shame because it was my favorite DVD.
TEAM COMPETITION
Campers were divided into teams as soon as we got there. Every room was part of one of ten colored teams. Some years the teams had a gimmick attached (i.e., in 2003 the teams were named after soft drinks in accordance with the Thirst theme), while others were gimmick-less years. The winning team got a co-ed pool and pizza party at the outdoor pool. It may sound lame now, but back then it was a pretty big deal, especially since males and females were segregated during water activities.
Teams competed in a variety of events from Monday to Thursday. From the Activity Director’s Dream (odd and convoluted yet strangely enjoyable relay races) to individual sign-up activities to “Surf & Turf” in the afternoon (team games on land and water), there were a number of ways to get your team on top. The results were revealed on Thursday evening after service. The closest I came to first place was in 2004, when my Orange Team fell just short. I don’t know how fun the pool party would’ve actually been, but it would have been nice to have had the opportunity to experience it firsthand (though Jessica, sadly, was never on my team).
THE ACTIVITIES
Lake Williamson had virtually everything you could hope for in a camp. The Activity Center had table tennis, pool tables, arcade games, basketball courts, volleyball courts, racquetball, a climbing wall, and an indoor obstacle course, for starters. On the campground there was also a miniature golf course, an outdoor pool, and the lake itself, among other things. There were a number of water slides, including “The Flume”, a very tall slide that went almost straight down. You were required to wear a helmet to experience The Flume. I chickened out. Though I spent more time playing table tennis than I would like to admit, I am glad that I was able to experience a number of the other activities as well. My favorite game was very simplistic yet highly enjoyable. You had to go down the big twisty water slide and catch a ball as you reached the bottom. Simple, yet fun.
SPECIFIC STORIES/MEMORIES
Unlike the previous sections (which were meticulously organized), I am just going to throw a bunch of random stories here for fun.
• At the conclusion of the infamous bell-ringing service in 2003, there was a young lady who had taken to shouting out “prophecies” at the top of her lungs. When our speaker claimed to receive word from the Lord that one of our campers not only watched pornography but was also heavily involved in the industry, she shouted out “Jacob, why must you be so stubborn?” I picked a bad day to be named Jakob, but I can promise you that she was not speaking about me.
• After lunch, there was a brief meeting detailing which gender had access to specific facilities that afternoon. Dan and I decided to skip that meeting. Later that afternoon, we had a strange desire to go canoeing. When we arrived, we were met with shocked looks. Apparently the women were so aghast because we entered during a time that it was ladies-only. We were forced to close our eyes, turn away, and put our shirts back on. Hooray modesty!
• In 2002, one of our Surf & Turf activities involved going down a zip line and landing in a hula hoop. I had no desire to involve myself in such shenanigans, so I merely watched as a spectator. As Rob rose to take his turn, our roommate Patrick and I began to engage in a discussion as to whether or not Rob would be successful in this pursuit. No sooner had we started than Rob fell back first into some very shallow water. Immediately, I thought he was dead. When I realized that he was, indeed, still alive, I enjoyed a hearty laugh.
• My friends and I enjoyed each other’s company so much one night that we were a bit tardy in leaving the dinner table. When one of the girls on KP (kitchen patrol) saw this, she began to cop an attitude with us, telling us she needed to get back to the room and brush her teeth. We decided to stay another 20 minutes.
• Usually on Wednesday nights before the presentation of the Highlight Video, the participants in the National Fine Arts Festival would perform. One of the girls from our church performed a very operatic song called “The Rock of Faith Is Jesus.” As Rex described it at the time, it sounded like “a song in a Disney movie about the French Revolution that disembodied heads would sing after getting chopped off by the guillotine.” She did a good job, but it was seriously the funniest thing ever. I was in tears 15 seconds into the song, and as I looked around, I saw the entire auditorium was as well. Jack the Ripper even got up and started conducting!
• When Dan and I finally had to take part in KP, his role was filling up the pitchers of punch. How much punch they actually got was entirely dependent on their attitude towards us. A nice table got a full pitcher of punch. A rude table got a pitcher that was 25% punch and 75% water. Don’t bite the hand that feeds you…
• In 2002, Jason was doing everything he could to get in trouble. When Rob and I had told him that we had to clean the field the previous year for taking part in wrestling after curfew, he desperately pleaded with the powers that be to let him clean the field. In fact, it was his goal all week to get the opportunity to clean the field.
• On the first day of Camp 2003, the boys and I went up to play ping pong. I had broken up with Mollie two months prior, and I was not particularly enthused about seeing her (because I thought the Stone girls would make a big deal about it). As Dan and I are playing ping pong, a group of no fewer than 15 girls walks up the stairs in a big circle. In unison, they shout, “Jakob, we have a surprise for you!!!” I had no idea what the surprise would be, but anything short of Jessica or a significant amount of money was going to be a massive disappointment. The circle disbanded to reveal Mollie. I had no idea what to say, so I said nothing and continued the game.
• In 2005, Merrill very badly wanted the crown of Mr. Lake Williamson. He tried to curry favor for himself by bringing soft drinks for our entire room, buddying up to counselors, the sort of stuff you’d see in a political campaign. He also became sort of became a coach/drill instructor trying to encourage our team during the games. I don’t blame him for it, because it worked and he was the Red Team nominee for the crown. I do, however, blame him for yelling at a kid with one lung to go faster on the obstacle course. Thankfully, the kid was a good sport, and I got a good laugh out of it.
• In 2004, I had this ridiculous red, white, and blue bucket hat that I wore all the time. It got me the nickname “Guy with the Hat”, which became the e-mail address that I still use to this day. I also used that hat to get Jessica’s attention by hitting her in the arm with it. I was such a stud.
CLOSING THOUGHTS
Camp was easily the highlight of my summer during my high school years. In fact, the whole year revolved around camp in my mind. Each day got me one step closer to Lake Williamson. When I started putting together this post, I expected to discover that my time at camp was not nearly as glorious as I thought at the time. That could not be further from the truth. While 2005 was a lost year (and indicative of the year in general), the other three years were amazing. 2004 was my best year personally, and 2003 was the best year as an overall spectacle (the theme, the presence of all my friends, etc.). It was a great experience, and an integral part of my youth. It was my gateway to meeting some amazing people, and while I love the place, I don’t want to go back. I want to find my grown up version of Lake Williamson. Onward and upward!
