Hey, hey! It's been a little while. Given the busy nature of 2018, I do not have the time to update this as I did in years past (especially since my writing time is spent on grad school). That said, I absolutely was not going to let 2018 fade into the night without keeping my end of year writing traditions. 2018 was a great year for music, both with album releases and live shows that I was fortunate to attend. Because of the glut of wonderful music, I'll be rolling with a top 20 list for both songs and albums. As always, I throw out the disclaimer that these are merely my favorites and are by no means a definitive list of anything. The longer year in review post will still be happening shortly after this one.
Songs
1. Senses Fail - Shaking Hands
2. Trophy Eyes - I Can Feel It Calling
3. Mayday Parade - It's Hard to Be Religious When Certain People Are Never Incinerated by Bolts of Lightning
4. With Confidence - Moving Boxes
5. State Champs - Frozen
6. Slaves - I'd Rather See Your Star Explode
7. You Me At Six - Straight to My Head
8. Hawthorne Heights - Edge of Town
9. Good Charlotte - Actual Pain
10. LANY - I Don't Want to Love You Anymore
11. Stand Atlantic - Lavender Bones
12. The Wonder Years - Pyramids of Salt
13. Like Pacific - In Spite of Me
14. Joyce Manor - Friends We Met Online
15. WSTR - Silly Me
16. Death Cab For Cutie - Your Hurricane
17. Dashboard Confessional - We Fight
18. The 1975 - Be My Mistake
19. Andrew McMahon in the Wilderness - House in the Trees
20. This Wild Life - Westlife
Albums
1. State Champs – Living Proof
2. Senses Fail - If There Is Light, It Will Find You
3. Trophy Eyes - The American Dream
4. Good Charlotte - Generation Rx
5. With Confidence - Love and Loathing
6. Hawthorne Heights - Bad Frequencies
7. Mayday Parade - Sunnyland
8. As It Is - The Great Depression
9. Ruston Kelly - Dying Star
10. The 1975 - A Brief Inquiry into Online Relationships
11. WSTR - Identity Crisis
12. The Wonder Years - Sister Cities
13. Stand Atlantic - Skinny Dipping
14. You Me At Six - VI
15. Dashboard Confessional - Crooked Shadows
16. The Dangerous Summer - The Dangerous Summer
17. Andrew W.K. - You're Not Alone
18. We the Kings - Six
19. This Wild Life - Petaluma
20. Like Pacific - In Spite of Me
TV Shows
1. NCIS: Los Angeles
2. Suits
3. Impractical Jokers
4. NCIS
5. The Edge and Christian Show (That Totally Reeks of Awesomeness)
Sports Moments
1. Seahawks clinch playoff spot by beating Chiefs on SNF
2. Dolph Ziggler wins Intercontinental Championship on Raw.
3. Becky Lynch was Last Woman Standing at Evolution
4. Seahawks dominate Vikings on MNF
5. Dolph Ziggler returns at Royal Rumble, causing me to pull a calf muscle and subsequently throw things when he got eliminated.
Personal Moments
As is the new norm, these will just be bullet points and in no particular order
•Seeing The Used and catching up with whitney and Stan
•Hearing a bunch of my favorite bands at Warped in Milwaukee (especially when As It Is played No Way Out and Mayday Parade performed Oh Well, Oh Well)
•Getting to finally meet Lindsey at Warped (keeping my fingers crossed that we can see some more music together in 2019)
•Haircuts with Amber
•Neck Deep, Stand Atlantic, WSTR, and Trophy Eyes with Jaclyn; getting to meet Neck Deep and Stand Atlantic
•Visiting Maryland in April, and June and getting an unexpected visit from Hadley in November
•8th grade graduation and the Blue and Gold Ball
•Continuing my doctoral journey, which is now two-thirds complete
•The new challenge of being a writing teacher and teaching the same students that I taught last year
•The many new people I met this year (mostly from Tinder), who all taught me something about myself and gave me clarity regarding what I want in my life moving forward
•Volleyball games and cheering for Alexis and Camila
•Going to Indiana for gummies(~!)
•Watching my students rock the Constitution Test again
•A trip to New Jersey to see Day at the Fair perform, to finally meet Rob, Kim, Chris, and Todd, and to not only hear my favorite song in the world but have it dedicated to me
•That one time I talked to Myrna in 2018
•Thanksgiving at the Smoljan residence
•Fortnite with Kenny and the squad
•The continued growth of my vinyl collection and the trips I'll make to Schaumburg and Bloomingdale to look for additions
Sunday, December 30, 2018
Tuesday, April 3, 2018
That's a Wrap on Another Lap (Around the Sun)
In general, we as humans enjoy over-simplification and compartmentalization as if both were beloved pastimes. Your humble author is plenty guilty of this as well. One would need only a cursory glance at my blog to find numerous examples of this. I know that evaluating a year in a vacuum is perhaps a foolhardy exercise and that years were merely meant to serve as a measurement of our planet’s revolution around the sun. That said, reflecting on the past 365 days and the growth (and occasional stagnation) is a nice simple way to put a bow on my year as a 30 year old.
Before I delve deeply into the reflection, I feel that there is something to share with you, something that most of you do not know.
I was inches away from not making it to 30, let alone 31.
Exactly one year ago, I came closer to death than I ever had to that point. It was a perfect storm of events. I was off work for my birthday (a Tuesday) but had to work on Monday. I decided to take a personal day as a gift to myself. A girl who I had met on Tinder but never dated had posted something on Snapchat about needing a ride to whatever the White Sox call their field now because she was working Opening Day. Since I had nothing better to do, I offered to give her a ride.
Shortly after dropping her off, I was redirected from my path home due to construction. To this day, I do not know if the school bus blew the red light or if I did (based on the lack of traffic otherwise, I am assuming it was the school bus), but a school bus was heading towards my driver’s side at 50 mph. I remember it so distinctly because the instant before I noticed, my music suddenly stopped playing. I then noticed the bus flying at me and stepped on my gas pedal as hard as I could. Another millisecond or another inch and that probably would have been the end of me.
Starting my year as a 30 year old on the heels of that event affected my outlook on the year as a whole, even though at that moment in time I had no idea how things were going to all shake out. It became important to me to live purposefully and with clarity in my words and actions.
I am by nature a reflective person, but one of the most valuable lessons I learned this year was to stop repetitively and methodically beating up myself over the “What ifs”. What if I had done this differently with Myrna? Would she still be around? I spent a number of restless nights on those questions before I realized the utterly pointless nature of the exercise. The reality is that I can only focus on the here and now. I cannot affect the hypotheticals; instead, my job is to exude strength and meaning in my actions and my reactions. At the end of the day, those actions and reactions are the truest power we have.
Most years run into one another, but there are certain “landmark” years in which I was able to look back and note a marked change or redirection in my life. 13 year old Jakob set the stage for my adolescence. 21 year old Jakob put the wheels into motion for the evolution of myself into the person that I always wanted to be. 24 year old Jakob found motivation that ever iteration since has used to drive progress and achievement. 30 year old Jakob is the Jakob that finally found strength. I found my voice, and I realized it was okay to step up and stand out because I am strong enough to handle the consequences, both good and bad. I found that even though it is great to have the support and company of others, I can do it alone and can get rid of those who no longer fit my mission and vision. Do I wish that strength did not come as a result of someone I loved leaving me? Of course. But if I have learned anything in this year, it is to leave the “What ifs” alone and replace them with “What is”.
This year was filled with both accomplishments and setbacks professionally, physically, and personally, but I like the direction things are going. There is much work to be done, and I am excited to make things happen. I always did like the number 31…
Before I delve deeply into the reflection, I feel that there is something to share with you, something that most of you do not know.
I was inches away from not making it to 30, let alone 31.
Exactly one year ago, I came closer to death than I ever had to that point. It was a perfect storm of events. I was off work for my birthday (a Tuesday) but had to work on Monday. I decided to take a personal day as a gift to myself. A girl who I had met on Tinder but never dated had posted something on Snapchat about needing a ride to whatever the White Sox call their field now because she was working Opening Day. Since I had nothing better to do, I offered to give her a ride.
Shortly after dropping her off, I was redirected from my path home due to construction. To this day, I do not know if the school bus blew the red light or if I did (based on the lack of traffic otherwise, I am assuming it was the school bus), but a school bus was heading towards my driver’s side at 50 mph. I remember it so distinctly because the instant before I noticed, my music suddenly stopped playing. I then noticed the bus flying at me and stepped on my gas pedal as hard as I could. Another millisecond or another inch and that probably would have been the end of me.
Starting my year as a 30 year old on the heels of that event affected my outlook on the year as a whole, even though at that moment in time I had no idea how things were going to all shake out. It became important to me to live purposefully and with clarity in my words and actions.
I am by nature a reflective person, but one of the most valuable lessons I learned this year was to stop repetitively and methodically beating up myself over the “What ifs”. What if I had done this differently with Myrna? Would she still be around? I spent a number of restless nights on those questions before I realized the utterly pointless nature of the exercise. The reality is that I can only focus on the here and now. I cannot affect the hypotheticals; instead, my job is to exude strength and meaning in my actions and my reactions. At the end of the day, those actions and reactions are the truest power we have.
Most years run into one another, but there are certain “landmark” years in which I was able to look back and note a marked change or redirection in my life. 13 year old Jakob set the stage for my adolescence. 21 year old Jakob put the wheels into motion for the evolution of myself into the person that I always wanted to be. 24 year old Jakob found motivation that ever iteration since has used to drive progress and achievement. 30 year old Jakob is the Jakob that finally found strength. I found my voice, and I realized it was okay to step up and stand out because I am strong enough to handle the consequences, both good and bad. I found that even though it is great to have the support and company of others, I can do it alone and can get rid of those who no longer fit my mission and vision. Do I wish that strength did not come as a result of someone I loved leaving me? Of course. But if I have learned anything in this year, it is to leave the “What ifs” alone and replace them with “What is”.
This year was filled with both accomplishments and setbacks professionally, physically, and personally, but I like the direction things are going. There is much work to be done, and I am excited to make things happen. I always did like the number 31…
Friday, January 5, 2018
2018: Continue the Ascent
By this point I am well aware that the beginning of a year does not possess any amount of magical powers that empower humanity to miraculously reach goals that were previously unattained. However, what a new year does do is provide both a figurative and literal fresh start and blank canvas upon which we can paint our year in the image we have envisioned for ourselves. While I do not necessarily make New Year’s resolutions, I do believe it is important to enter into a new year with a plan of action.
2017 was productive in many ways but painful in many others. I do feel that ultimately I progressed upward in my trajectory, but there is still work to be done. While thinking about what I ultimately want to accomplish in 2018, it was important that I was realistic with myself and did not make promises that I could not keep. For example, I could promise to write 30 posts in 2018, but the reality is that unless there is 30 posts worth of inspiration (of which I have no guarantee that there will be), it would a futile and frustrating endeavor. I cannot set goals that require actions from other individuals. I am only responsible for myself. That said, there is a great deal that I wish to accomplish in 2018. Here are some of the major highlights.
Complete at least 27 more hours of coursework in my doctoral program with at least a 3.9 GPA
To this point I have progressed well through the program. I have completed 7 credit hours and am about to receive credit for an additional 12 hours as a result of work I did while pursuing my master’s degree. I am no longer at the bottom of the mountain, but there is a long journey before I ascend to the peak. I am on track to complete a significant portion of that journey in 2018, and I have high standards for myself. Ultimately, I would love to maintain my 4.0 GPA, but I do not want to focus so hard on the grade that I neglect to totally immerse myself with the content. I want to succeed. I believe I will succeed. I just have to continue to do the work.
Strictly adhere to a daily schedule
I have personal, professional, educational, and physical goals. Sometimes it feels as though there are not enough hours in the day to attack all of these goals. To combat these feelings, I have comprised a daily schedule for myself that allows for each of these goals to be addressed. I was very good at maintaining a rigorous workout schedule during the first quarter of 2017, but as stress and disappointment began to pile up, I got off track. I am not going to allow myself to get off track in 2018. Once I fully adapt to having this daily routine, I believe I will be able to devote both the time and effort needed to relentlessly attack my goals.
Minimize processed sugar intake
Again, this was something that I excelled in maintaining during the first quarter of 2017. When life got tough, I sought out comfort in sugar. That is simply not going to be acceptable in 2017. I do not need soft drinks, energy drinks, or candy. Yes, some exceptions can be made during holidays, but not to the point that an entire diet can be thrown off.
Continue to seek out innovative ways of reaching students without losing what makes me special
Education is challenging because it is such a dynamic field. What’s new will become old, and what’s old will become new again. There is very little patience in seeing programs or initiatives through to the very end. As such, it can be very difficult as a teacher to accomplish the things you wish to accomplish whilst simultaneously appeasing the school or district higher-ups. It is my sincerest hope that I can balance the two (occasionally seemingly opposing) forces in a manner that still engages the student and allows me to still be me. Quite often this seems like a major conundrum, but I am confident that I can make it work.
Continue to find and develop the strength within
Life without Myrna as a regular stabilizing and balancing presence has been admittedly difficult, but what it has taught me is that I cannot rely on others to be my strength, my motivation, or my catalyst. I have to accomplish my goals and objectives through my own drive, determination, and strength. Yes, family and friends can provide support along the way, but the person getting things done for Jakob has to be Jakob. When she does return to having a regular presence in my life, I want to be strong enough to be able to do things and not come across as so needy. I’ve made a significant amount of headway in this regard. I must continue my ascent.
The goals I have for myself in 2018 are not new or unfamiliar. Much of the foundation has already been laid by the work I have done over the course of the past year. It will not be easy, but I’m moving in the right direction and already know the route I need to get to where I want to be. I look forward to continuing the ascent.
2017 was productive in many ways but painful in many others. I do feel that ultimately I progressed upward in my trajectory, but there is still work to be done. While thinking about what I ultimately want to accomplish in 2018, it was important that I was realistic with myself and did not make promises that I could not keep. For example, I could promise to write 30 posts in 2018, but the reality is that unless there is 30 posts worth of inspiration (of which I have no guarantee that there will be), it would a futile and frustrating endeavor. I cannot set goals that require actions from other individuals. I am only responsible for myself. That said, there is a great deal that I wish to accomplish in 2018. Here are some of the major highlights.
Complete at least 27 more hours of coursework in my doctoral program with at least a 3.9 GPA
To this point I have progressed well through the program. I have completed 7 credit hours and am about to receive credit for an additional 12 hours as a result of work I did while pursuing my master’s degree. I am no longer at the bottom of the mountain, but there is a long journey before I ascend to the peak. I am on track to complete a significant portion of that journey in 2018, and I have high standards for myself. Ultimately, I would love to maintain my 4.0 GPA, but I do not want to focus so hard on the grade that I neglect to totally immerse myself with the content. I want to succeed. I believe I will succeed. I just have to continue to do the work.
Strictly adhere to a daily schedule
I have personal, professional, educational, and physical goals. Sometimes it feels as though there are not enough hours in the day to attack all of these goals. To combat these feelings, I have comprised a daily schedule for myself that allows for each of these goals to be addressed. I was very good at maintaining a rigorous workout schedule during the first quarter of 2017, but as stress and disappointment began to pile up, I got off track. I am not going to allow myself to get off track in 2018. Once I fully adapt to having this daily routine, I believe I will be able to devote both the time and effort needed to relentlessly attack my goals.
Minimize processed sugar intake
Again, this was something that I excelled in maintaining during the first quarter of 2017. When life got tough, I sought out comfort in sugar. That is simply not going to be acceptable in 2017. I do not need soft drinks, energy drinks, or candy. Yes, some exceptions can be made during holidays, but not to the point that an entire diet can be thrown off.
Continue to seek out innovative ways of reaching students without losing what makes me special
Education is challenging because it is such a dynamic field. What’s new will become old, and what’s old will become new again. There is very little patience in seeing programs or initiatives through to the very end. As such, it can be very difficult as a teacher to accomplish the things you wish to accomplish whilst simultaneously appeasing the school or district higher-ups. It is my sincerest hope that I can balance the two (occasionally seemingly opposing) forces in a manner that still engages the student and allows me to still be me. Quite often this seems like a major conundrum, but I am confident that I can make it work.
Continue to find and develop the strength within
Life without Myrna as a regular stabilizing and balancing presence has been admittedly difficult, but what it has taught me is that I cannot rely on others to be my strength, my motivation, or my catalyst. I have to accomplish my goals and objectives through my own drive, determination, and strength. Yes, family and friends can provide support along the way, but the person getting things done for Jakob has to be Jakob. When she does return to having a regular presence in my life, I want to be strong enough to be able to do things and not come across as so needy. I’ve made a significant amount of headway in this regard. I must continue my ascent.
The goals I have for myself in 2018 are not new or unfamiliar. Much of the foundation has already been laid by the work I have done over the course of the past year. It will not be easy, but I’m moving in the right direction and already know the route I need to get to where I want to be. I look forward to continuing the ascent.
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