Many traditions come and go. However, some traditions stand the test of time. As I have grown, I have relinquished many of my personal traditions. However, my “Year in Review” post still stands. Though there was an unexpected delay in posting, this is the 12th (!!) edition of this post, and it remains an important exercise in introspection. 2015 was a unique year. As usual, there will be a month-by-month rundown of the year with some closing thoughts about the year as a whole
January: 2015 displayed its bipolar nature almost from the start. I had the opportunity to see my friend Dan for the first time in nearly three years, but I also got sick twice over the course of the month. For a few days I was virtually without a voice. Mrs. Balfour and I were informed the day we returned from break that we were going to be moved into a special education classroom. The rapport we had built with our students for an entire semester was gone, and we were forced to start from scratch. The Seahawks completed an improbable run to the Super Bowl by making one of the greatest comebacks in playoff history over the Packers. I officially completed grad school and achieved my goal of graduating with a 4.0 grade point average. It felt like things in my life were about to fall into place (from a personal standpoint, at least).
February: February could not be classified as anything less than a massive disappointment. My Seahawks were in position to win their second consecutive Super Bowl were it not for a poorly called and executed play that lost them the game. My obsessive nature put perhaps the final nail in the coffin of a pursuit with someone I cared about very much and thought I was going to date. Work was physically and emotionally draining.
March: I wish I could say that this month was the month that I got my act together and turned things around. It wasn’t. However, some very good things happened. My sister gave birth to an absolutely beautiful baby girl and I became an uncle for the first time. Since my parents went out to North Carolina to spend a few weeks with them, I was the only one from my immediate family in Illinois for a few weeks. I was pleased with myself for how well I handled responsibilities and independence. I met a number of new people this month. Unfortunately, I also injured my knee when I was chased by a dog during one of my runs. This injury completely threw off my workout regimen and I gradually got out of shape. However, the month ended on a strong note, as I had the opportunity to watch WrestleMania with my uncle and aunt and took a road trip to North Carolina to meet my niece for the first time.
April: I know that people were beginning to worry about me at this time, and in retrospect, I really could have gone either way. My obsession with life having to go the way I wanted it to go was beginning to consume me. I had fun times this month, such as dinner with Merrill, a day in South Carolina with E~! and Matt, and WWE Extreme Rules. Yet, because I was so consumed with my pursuit of Kim, I could not derive real pleasure from any of these experiences. I didn’t even enjoy my birthday because all I could do was sit around and hope that she would remember. When all I got was a “Happy birthday” on Facebook (no punctuation and not even a capitalized “B” for Birthday), it crushed me. Things had to change. I had to change. I wasn’t ready to do this yet, however.
May: I wrapped up what would (spoilers) eventually be my final year at AAA Academy by actually getting to watch the graduation instead of guarding the far door. That evening, I flew to Portland for the wedding of one of my longtime friends, Zach. I can honestly say that wedding was a once in a lifetime experience and that I will probably never experience another wedding quite like that. Following the wedding, I finally had the opportunity to meet Victoria for Voodoo Doughnuts (a Portland specialty). The following day, I drove up to Seattle to see Rob and Rex. For one day, I felt like I was a kid again. Even though my flight was cancelled and I had to spend the night at the airport in Portland, my heart felt full for the first time in a long time. I had my first interview for a job for the following school year, and even though it did not go my way, I was excited and encouraged for what was to come.
June: This month was full of job interviews. I knew that my Master’s Degree was paying dividends, as I had significantly more interest from schools as a teaching candidate than in previous years. It was fascinating and insightful to see how different schools conducted their interview process as well as the qualities that they were looking for in their future employees. I also had the opportunity to catch a baseball game with the Prosapio family. It was an amazing experience to sit back and tell stories about Katie and how much she meant to me as well as where our lives have taken us in the past few years. I also had the opportunity to take a trip to Minnesota to see my friend Shannon, who I had not seen in five years.
July: July 4, 2015. That is the day my life changed. I mentioned in April that I was starting to show signs of cracking. Though I didn’t mention anything about that in May and June, I had not really made any great improvement. Kim wasn’t interested in me. She moved on to someone else. I had to accept the reality that was in front of me. To that point, I wasn’t ready to accept my reality. I finally realized that in order to rebuild myself, I must first be broken. I engaged in one of my infamous Twitter rants because I needed to be freed of all that. Should I have been hurtful? Absolutely not. However, I did what I needed to do for myself at the time. Once I learned to not fear failure, my life turned around. I had more job interviews and finally obtained the public school teaching job that had eluded me for the better part of a decade. I attended the graduation ceremony for my completion of grad school. I went back to North Carolina to see Heidi, Randy, and Hadley and had all the fun I didn’t allow myself to have when I went in spring. I saw Merrill as well as E~! and Matt, and I really allowed myself to enjoy myself.
August: I got started at my new job. I hadn’t even unpacked from my Carolina trip when it was time to go in for an orientation for new teachers. That was a long and exhausting week, but it introduced me to many colleagues with whom I legitimately enjoy working. I learned more about the teaching position and the job I was supposed to do. The course I teach is only a nine week course, so I got my first batch of students that week. I can honestly say those students were a pleasure to teach, and they helped me get my feet wet at a new job.
September: I said goodbye to an old friend whilst simultaneously continuing my ascent in the world when I traded my 2005 Chevy Cobalt for a 2015 Kia Optima EX. I finally had an “adult” job, so it was time to get a vehicle that matched. I began to allow myself to be open to whatever life was going to throw at me, so I actually started dating again. Though the dates did not ultimately lead to a relationship, it was good to get back on the saddle.
October: I finished the first quarter and got a new group of students. The Cubs made the playoffs, and I enjoyed watching their games. I went to Six Flags for the first time in a number of years (on one of the aforementioned dates). Perhaps what I am most proud of is the fact that I allowed someone back into my life that many of my friends were afraid was going to ruin all the progress I had made. However, I knew that I needed to know if I had truly grown and the best way of doing that was by testing myself. Ultimately, I know that I passed that test with flying colors. I no longer look at life as what I wish it would be. I recognize the reality that is in front of me. When that reality can be changed, I challenge it, but I am cognizant to my limitations and aware that some battles are not worth fighting.
November: I had the opportunity to see Shannon again, this time in Chicago. It is always a great time when we spend time with one another. For the first time in my life, I spent Thanksgiving outside of Illinois, as I drove with my parents to Maryland to spend the holiday with Heidi, Randy, and Hadley. It is amazing to watch my niece grow and see how intelligent and intuitive she is. She definitely will not need to get by solely on her looks; she has a brain to match. The Seahawks finally started to turn things around and ended the month by beating the Steelers in a victory which proved quite profitable to me.
December: I wrapped the calendar year on a relatively high note. Christmas did not wind up being what we thought it was going to be, but it was an enjoyable Christmas nonetheless. My sister’s family wound up coming back to Illinois for the holidays, and it was great to spend a week with Hadley and see how much she had grown even in the three weeks since Thanksgiving. My computer unfortunately died on Christmas Day, and as I was foolish and did not have my hard drive backed up, I lost everything. While that part was frustrating, I had my health. I had gained some weight over the course of 2015 due in part to some nagging injuries but also due to declining motivation thanks to other frustrations and disappointments in my life. I finally took control back and found my motivation within. Physical fitness is always a process, but I can proudly say that I have worked myself into better condition than I have been in a long time.
Closing Thoughts
2015 reminded me of 2008 in so many ways, from the initial romantic failures to new jobs to cheap gas prices to about a dozen things in between. 2015 had some crushing defeats, yet I look back on this year and see it as a distinct victory. Things in my life finally began to happen. I got that job I waited so long for. I got a new car. I wrapped up another degree. But most importantly, I regained control of myself. My job can be stressful, but I feel less stressed than I have in years. I no longer feel like my life is this race against the clock, where I have to reach certain milestones by certain checkpoints or my life is a waste. I am content to let things in life come to me when they supposed to instead of relentlessly pursuing them and exasperating myself and others in the process.
Being an uncle has definitely mellowed me out. I find myself not saying or doing a number of things that I would have done in the past because I want Hadley to see me as someone to be proud of. I absolutely enjoy being her uncle, and I can say that having her around is the best thing that happened to me in 2015.
I would be remiss if I didn’t thank a number of people this year. From my immediate family for putting up with me on a daily basis, I have to thank Ken and SJT for reading all sorts of nonsense and enduring all the times I tried to read into things. I thank everyone who took the time out of their lives to spend time with me this year: Dan, Rex, Rob, Merrill, Victoria, Erika, Matt, Shannon, and Brittany. Thank you to Zach for thinking enough of me to put me in your wedding and to my Aunt Dianna for the many dinners and hours of conversation challenging me to extend myself farther than I believed I was capable. And thank you Jannelle for always allowing me to be part of your life and making me feel special
Thank you to all the new people in my life, both those I’ve met online and in person. Thank you to Lindsey for being a good workout buddy and better friend. Thanks Maegan for letting me sit by you at the reception (you have great taste in baby names, by the way). Thank you Missy for helping me put myself out there again. Thank you to Myrna, Jenn, and Ashley for teaching me that amazing people can be found virtually anywhere, and thank you for believing in me as much as I believe in each one of you. Thank you Michael for giving me that work camaraderie that I have not had since my days at Target.
I don’t know where 2016 will directly take me, but I’ve got big plans. Life is ascending, and I’m ready to launch into something even greater.
Thursday, December 31, 2015
Wednesday, December 30, 2015
2015 in List Form
Another year is in the books, and to be honest, this post in particular is always done more for my edification than for yours. I always like to be able to go back in time and see what interested me, what captivated me, and what moved me. This post would usually hit this site earlier but I was temporarily without a computer. Here are the things that made up my 2015.
Songs
1. State Champs – Around the World and Back
2. Millencolin – Perfection is Boring
3. Frank Turner – Mittens
4. Strung Out – No Apologies
5. All Time Low- Cinderblock Garden
6. The Brevet – Hold On
7. Sufjan Stevens – Death with Dignity
8. The Mountain Goats – Heel Turn #2
9. Death Cab for Cutie – Everything’s a Ceiling
10. As It Is – Cheap Shots and Setbacks
11. Silverstein – Face of the Earth
12. Mat Kearney – One Black Sheep
13. Bring Me the Horizon – Doomed
14. Major Lazer – Lean On
15. Albert Hammond, Jr. – Losing Touch
Albums
1. All Time Low – Future Hearts
2. The Mountain Goats – Beat the Champ
3. Millencolin – True Brew
4. State Champs – Around the World and Back
5. Sufjan Stevens – Carrie & Lowell
6. Frank Turner – Positive Songs for Negative People
7. Punchline - Thrilled
8. Silverstein – I Am Alive in Everything I Touch
9. Imagine Dragons – Smoke + Mirrors
10. Seaway - Colour Blind
TV Shows
1. Mr. Robot
2. NCIS
3. NCIS: Los Angeles
4. Suits
5. Liv & Maddie (don’t judge me!)
Sports Moments
1. Seahawks come back to defeat the Packers in the NFC Championship game
2. Cubs defeat the Cardinals and advance to NLCS
3. Cubs oust Pirates in Wild Card Round
4. Seahawks defeat Steelers in an epic matchup
5. Attending WWE Extreme Rules (in the 3rd row!!!)
*Since my favorite places to eat very rarely change, I decided to omit this section this year.*
Personal Moments
1. Becoming an uncle, March 11
2. Finishing Grad School, January 11
3. Getting hired at PHJH, July 17
4. Seattle with Rex and Rob, May 24
5. Portland for Zach’s wedding, May 23
6. Extreme Rules in Chicago, April 26
7. Masters Graduation, July 10
8. Maryland for Thanksgiving, November 25
9. North & South Carolina to see family and friends, July 25-August 2
10. Bavarian Lodge with Dan, January 3
Songs
1. State Champs – Around the World and Back
2. Millencolin – Perfection is Boring
3. Frank Turner – Mittens
4. Strung Out – No Apologies
5. All Time Low- Cinderblock Garden
6. The Brevet – Hold On
7. Sufjan Stevens – Death with Dignity
8. The Mountain Goats – Heel Turn #2
9. Death Cab for Cutie – Everything’s a Ceiling
10. As It Is – Cheap Shots and Setbacks
11. Silverstein – Face of the Earth
12. Mat Kearney – One Black Sheep
13. Bring Me the Horizon – Doomed
14. Major Lazer – Lean On
15. Albert Hammond, Jr. – Losing Touch
Albums
1. All Time Low – Future Hearts
2. The Mountain Goats – Beat the Champ
3. Millencolin – True Brew
4. State Champs – Around the World and Back
5. Sufjan Stevens – Carrie & Lowell
6. Frank Turner – Positive Songs for Negative People
7. Punchline - Thrilled
8. Silverstein – I Am Alive in Everything I Touch
9. Imagine Dragons – Smoke + Mirrors
10. Seaway - Colour Blind
TV Shows
1. Mr. Robot
2. NCIS
3. NCIS: Los Angeles
4. Suits
5. Liv & Maddie (don’t judge me!)
Sports Moments
1. Seahawks come back to defeat the Packers in the NFC Championship game
2. Cubs defeat the Cardinals and advance to NLCS
3. Cubs oust Pirates in Wild Card Round
4. Seahawks defeat Steelers in an epic matchup
5. Attending WWE Extreme Rules (in the 3rd row!!!)
*Since my favorite places to eat very rarely change, I decided to omit this section this year.*
Personal Moments
1. Becoming an uncle, March 11
2. Finishing Grad School, January 11
3. Getting hired at PHJH, July 17
4. Seattle with Rex and Rob, May 24
5. Portland for Zach’s wedding, May 23
6. Extreme Rules in Chicago, April 26
7. Masters Graduation, July 10
8. Maryland for Thanksgiving, November 25
9. North & South Carolina to see family and friends, July 25-August 2
10. Bavarian Lodge with Dan, January 3
Wednesday, November 25, 2015
Annual Expression of Gratitude
It’s easy to dwell on what we don’t have. It’s even easier to dwell on the things we used to have that have since slipped from our grasp. However, that mindset is unproductive at best and toxic at worst. If we ever want to get to where we want to be, we cannot fixate on where we used to be, where we thought we would be at this point, or where we could be had the ball bounced differently. We must actively focus on how far we have come and the blessings we have accumulated during the journey.
At this time last year, I was on the verge of a breakdown. I was fortunate enough to have a job, but my employment there was always tenuous at best due to factors beyond my control. To make matters worse, the job was horrendously stressful. I was fearful for my future, for though I desperately wanted to move to another position at another school, I had no prospects. All I had ever met to that point was disappointment. I had to have knocked a thousand doors without a single one of them opening. My friends were all out of the picture due to factors such as work, location, relationships, or just plain growing up. My love life was in shambles. My sister had moved away and had gotten pregnant, and while I was happy for her, there was still a feeling of “woe is me” in my heart because nothing in my life was coming together. I feared that whatever potential I did have was on the verge of being wasted.
As you know by now, things turned around in my life. I work at a different job. I have a new car. I have a greater security in my friendships despite the fact that many of my friends still live at a considerable distance from me. I have made new friends as well. I have a niece that I absolutely adore. The love life didn’t exactly turn out as I had hoped, but doors closing led to a change in my mindset (so all in all, it’s a net gain).
You might have read everything to this point and asked yourself “Jakob, where are you going with all of this? Is there a point to this history lesson?” There is. I am thankful for my successes this year. I have done things that I would have never dreamed of accomplishing this year. But above all, I am grateful for my failures.
I have failed spectacularly and epically in the past year. I’ve made mistakes in virtually every facet of life. Some of them I can already laugh at myself for making. Others are a little more difficult to tackle. However, I take solace in the realization that I would not have succeeded had I not fallen. I obsessed in my love life. It left me with a steaming pile of nothing. That failure woke up a part of me that I did not know existed. Today, I no longer fear failure. I survived some pretty low depths. I may not always succeed. I’m going to make mistakes (though hopefully not the same mistakes as before). But failure does not and will not define me, and it will not end me.
For the first time in my life, I am living without a plethora of self-imposed deadlines. A significant portion of my frustration and dissatisfaction with life came from the idea that I had not reached the life checkpoints that I thought I should have arrived at by this point. I had all these things that I thought I would accomplish by the age of 30, and while I have put a dent into that list, many items still remain. If I don’t get to them, it’s not as if I no longer have the right to live. I’m young. I have time. Things will happen as they are supposed to happen.
I write all of that to implore you to be thankful this year, to take stock of what you do have and to find joy in your journey. I am thankful for that which I have accomplished, the people who have stayed by my side along the way, and for the failures that refined me and woke me up.
At this time last year, I was on the verge of a breakdown. I was fortunate enough to have a job, but my employment there was always tenuous at best due to factors beyond my control. To make matters worse, the job was horrendously stressful. I was fearful for my future, for though I desperately wanted to move to another position at another school, I had no prospects. All I had ever met to that point was disappointment. I had to have knocked a thousand doors without a single one of them opening. My friends were all out of the picture due to factors such as work, location, relationships, or just plain growing up. My love life was in shambles. My sister had moved away and had gotten pregnant, and while I was happy for her, there was still a feeling of “woe is me” in my heart because nothing in my life was coming together. I feared that whatever potential I did have was on the verge of being wasted.
As you know by now, things turned around in my life. I work at a different job. I have a new car. I have a greater security in my friendships despite the fact that many of my friends still live at a considerable distance from me. I have made new friends as well. I have a niece that I absolutely adore. The love life didn’t exactly turn out as I had hoped, but doors closing led to a change in my mindset (so all in all, it’s a net gain).
You might have read everything to this point and asked yourself “Jakob, where are you going with all of this? Is there a point to this history lesson?” There is. I am thankful for my successes this year. I have done things that I would have never dreamed of accomplishing this year. But above all, I am grateful for my failures.
I have failed spectacularly and epically in the past year. I’ve made mistakes in virtually every facet of life. Some of them I can already laugh at myself for making. Others are a little more difficult to tackle. However, I take solace in the realization that I would not have succeeded had I not fallen. I obsessed in my love life. It left me with a steaming pile of nothing. That failure woke up a part of me that I did not know existed. Today, I no longer fear failure. I survived some pretty low depths. I may not always succeed. I’m going to make mistakes (though hopefully not the same mistakes as before). But failure does not and will not define me, and it will not end me.
For the first time in my life, I am living without a plethora of self-imposed deadlines. A significant portion of my frustration and dissatisfaction with life came from the idea that I had not reached the life checkpoints that I thought I should have arrived at by this point. I had all these things that I thought I would accomplish by the age of 30, and while I have put a dent into that list, many items still remain. If I don’t get to them, it’s not as if I no longer have the right to live. I’m young. I have time. Things will happen as they are supposed to happen.
I write all of that to implore you to be thankful this year, to take stock of what you do have and to find joy in your journey. I am thankful for that which I have accomplished, the people who have stayed by my side along the way, and for the failures that refined me and woke me up.
Saturday, August 8, 2015
Out of the Ashes
Forgive me if I’m rusty. It’s been a while, after all…
Yes, I do still exist. After engaging in the longest writing hiatus I have taken in years, I think it’s about time to catch you up on everything that has happened. A lot has transpired since I last wrote. I’m not even sure where to start…
The Job
My third year at AAA Academy was by far the most challenging. The entrance interview at the beginning of the year set the tone when my boss, without a hint of irony, says to me “Jakob, you can’t begin to imagine how many times last year I wanted to take you up to the roof of the building, put a rope around your neck, and throw you off the roof.”
In the middle of the year, right around the time I felt like I finally had a grip on my class, my co-teacher and I were informed that we were going to be teaching a different class for the second semester. I found myself working as a special education teacher (despite having no training or certification to do so). I can honestly say that I loved those children, but I have to admit that it completely drained me. I knew that if I had to do it for much longer, I would have completely burned out of the teaching profession. Somehow, I had just enough in me to make it through the school year.
I entered the summer once again in search of that elusive full-time teaching position in a public school. I had one more tool in my arsenal this time around, however: my master’s degree. That degree immediately paid dividends, as I had exponentially more interviews than I had in previous years. One interesting thing I discovered was that each school and district had vastly different interview processes, from the number of rounds to the interviewers to the lines of questioning. After six years, I can proudly state that the long wait is over. In July, I was offered (and subsequently accepted) a position as Reading/RTI Instructor at Prairie-Hills Junior High. I can’t begin to express how much better of a situation this is for me in virtually every way, and I am excited to make my mark in a new school. While I am grateful to my previous employer for the opportunity to get my feet wet in education, it was time to pursue new opportunities. Onward and upward!
The Family
In March, I became an uncle for the first time. My sister gave birth to a little pocketful of sunshine named Hadley Rose. To say I absolutely adore this child would be an understatement. I’ve already told Heidi not to have any more children because Hadley is going to be my favorite. There’s just something special about her. I know I’m not the only family member she has wrapped around her finger.
Confession time: Even though I was extremely happy for my sister and brother in law when Hadley was born and completely fell in love with Hadley when I met her for the first time, I have to admit that I suffered from some mixed emotions at the time. I looked at my own life and got really frustrated by the lack of wife and children. I couldn’t escape the thought, “When is it going to be my time?”
I struggled with that for a little while, but if there’s one thing I’m starting to *finally* get a grasp of in 2015, it’s that life does not operate by my timeframes and schedules. I’ll be a good parent someday. I’m not worried about if or when it happens. There is plenty life to be enjoyed in the meantime.
The Girl
For close to two years, the space in my heart reserved for romance was occupied by one young lady. If you’re reading this, you’re probably rolling your eyes because you know exactly to whom I am referring. Since I can guarantee there’s virtually no chance she is reading this, let’s call her Kim.
Kim and I had a tumultuous relationship with one another to say the least. I was so desperate for her adulation and approval that I changed over time into a shell of who I was and a far cry from the person I was capable of being. I thought I needed to do everything in my power to let her know I cared to the extent I actually started caring about Pittsburgh sports teams (ugh). Everything I did for a long stretch was done with her in mind. At times, it looked like things were paying off, but every time I got close to succeeding, the rug got pulled out from under me. For the longest time, I blamed myself for it. I thought If I started doing this or stopped doing that, it would be enough. Unfortunately, it would never be enough.
Eventually I got tired of it. I knew I wasn’t strong enough to walk away from her completely, so I said some things that I knew would make her want to get rid of me. Was that necessarily the best course of action? Of course not. Do I regret it sometimes? I’d be lying if I said I didn’t. But I finally realized I had to get to a point where I didn’t base my own self-worth and enjoyment of life on someone else.
I have found so many similarities between 2015 and 2008. Both were years of major transition and new opportunities within education. In both situations, I was probably at my worst when it came to women. I wish I could say I learned my lesson from 2008, but I didn’t. There are so many parallels between how things were with Kim and how they were with Stacie back in 2008. In both cases I pressed too hard trying to make something happen. Unfortunately, in life you do not always get out what you put in. Mr. Maday’s function machine does not relate to interpersonal relationships. Nothing I did was ever going to be good enough for Stacie to give me a chance. I should’ve accepted that. It took her taking the steps to delete me from her life for me to get it.
Things were even worse with Kim. What she said and what she actually did were two very different things. Because I so badly wanted things to work in my favor, I decided to ignore how things were and clung desperately to the hope of her words. As time went on, she had no intention of meeting me or of giving me a chance. I let her string me along. It took me a long time to realize I’m better than that.
Kim broke me, yet I am not a broken man. That season of my life broke me of a number of bad habits, of obsessive tendencies, and of the belief that something HAS to happen simply because I want it to happen. Things are going to work out with whomever they are supposed to work with when they’re supposed to work. I’m not sweating it. I know my worth, and I’m not about to waste my time on someone who doesn’t. I don’t feel the stress that I had felt anymore, and there’s a weight lifted off my shoulders.
I stand today because of all the times I have fallen
When you get hit hard, it can be difficult to force yourself to get back up. When you are chronically failing, giving up seems like an increasingly palatable option. I say this as someone who needed an elevator to go UP to rock bottom. Before I got this job, I had to have filled out close to 500 job applications. I had over two dozen interviews. Doors consistently closed in my face, and I had no idea what to do to change my situation.
When I was younger, I had a paralyzing fear of failure. I couldn’t bear the thought of not being good enough (whether in my own mind or in the opinion of others), and it really held me back from going for things. The older I’ve gotten, the more I have realized that defeat isn’t the worst thing. Adversity doesn’t ruin you; it simply means you’ve been battle tested. Each defeat has made me a little stronger, a little smarter, and a little savvier. I am a better man today not because of the good I have done, but for the times I was not quite good enough.
While I was obsessed with the idea of spending the rest of my life with Kim, I took a number of steps back as a person. I am not blaming that on her. My regression was my doing. I apologize for wasting the time of those who had to talk me off many proverbial ledges, but ultimately I’m a better man for it. My failure with Kim broke me of habits and mindsets that should have been broken long ago. The lady I date next will get a better Jakob as a result.
If you are reading this and are frustrated with your current lot in life, all I can do is encourage you to keep going. Things won’t be easy. As a child, I had this idea that life wouldn’t be challenging. Unfortunately, for most of us, life doesn’t come with an “Easy Mode”. Fight hard. Accept your failures. Let them mold you into something better.
I’m not at the top of the world yet, but I’m ascending. I certainly don’t mind the view from up here.
Yes, I do still exist. After engaging in the longest writing hiatus I have taken in years, I think it’s about time to catch you up on everything that has happened. A lot has transpired since I last wrote. I’m not even sure where to start…
The Job
My third year at AAA Academy was by far the most challenging. The entrance interview at the beginning of the year set the tone when my boss, without a hint of irony, says to me “Jakob, you can’t begin to imagine how many times last year I wanted to take you up to the roof of the building, put a rope around your neck, and throw you off the roof.”
In the middle of the year, right around the time I felt like I finally had a grip on my class, my co-teacher and I were informed that we were going to be teaching a different class for the second semester. I found myself working as a special education teacher (despite having no training or certification to do so). I can honestly say that I loved those children, but I have to admit that it completely drained me. I knew that if I had to do it for much longer, I would have completely burned out of the teaching profession. Somehow, I had just enough in me to make it through the school year.
I entered the summer once again in search of that elusive full-time teaching position in a public school. I had one more tool in my arsenal this time around, however: my master’s degree. That degree immediately paid dividends, as I had exponentially more interviews than I had in previous years. One interesting thing I discovered was that each school and district had vastly different interview processes, from the number of rounds to the interviewers to the lines of questioning. After six years, I can proudly state that the long wait is over. In July, I was offered (and subsequently accepted) a position as Reading/RTI Instructor at Prairie-Hills Junior High. I can’t begin to express how much better of a situation this is for me in virtually every way, and I am excited to make my mark in a new school. While I am grateful to my previous employer for the opportunity to get my feet wet in education, it was time to pursue new opportunities. Onward and upward!
The Family
In March, I became an uncle for the first time. My sister gave birth to a little pocketful of sunshine named Hadley Rose. To say I absolutely adore this child would be an understatement. I’ve already told Heidi not to have any more children because Hadley is going to be my favorite. There’s just something special about her. I know I’m not the only family member she has wrapped around her finger.
Confession time: Even though I was extremely happy for my sister and brother in law when Hadley was born and completely fell in love with Hadley when I met her for the first time, I have to admit that I suffered from some mixed emotions at the time. I looked at my own life and got really frustrated by the lack of wife and children. I couldn’t escape the thought, “When is it going to be my time?”
I struggled with that for a little while, but if there’s one thing I’m starting to *finally* get a grasp of in 2015, it’s that life does not operate by my timeframes and schedules. I’ll be a good parent someday. I’m not worried about if or when it happens. There is plenty life to be enjoyed in the meantime.
The Girl
For close to two years, the space in my heart reserved for romance was occupied by one young lady. If you’re reading this, you’re probably rolling your eyes because you know exactly to whom I am referring. Since I can guarantee there’s virtually no chance she is reading this, let’s call her Kim.
Kim and I had a tumultuous relationship with one another to say the least. I was so desperate for her adulation and approval that I changed over time into a shell of who I was and a far cry from the person I was capable of being. I thought I needed to do everything in my power to let her know I cared to the extent I actually started caring about Pittsburgh sports teams (ugh). Everything I did for a long stretch was done with her in mind. At times, it looked like things were paying off, but every time I got close to succeeding, the rug got pulled out from under me. For the longest time, I blamed myself for it. I thought If I started doing this or stopped doing that, it would be enough. Unfortunately, it would never be enough.
Eventually I got tired of it. I knew I wasn’t strong enough to walk away from her completely, so I said some things that I knew would make her want to get rid of me. Was that necessarily the best course of action? Of course not. Do I regret it sometimes? I’d be lying if I said I didn’t. But I finally realized I had to get to a point where I didn’t base my own self-worth and enjoyment of life on someone else.
I have found so many similarities between 2015 and 2008. Both were years of major transition and new opportunities within education. In both situations, I was probably at my worst when it came to women. I wish I could say I learned my lesson from 2008, but I didn’t. There are so many parallels between how things were with Kim and how they were with Stacie back in 2008. In both cases I pressed too hard trying to make something happen. Unfortunately, in life you do not always get out what you put in. Mr. Maday’s function machine does not relate to interpersonal relationships. Nothing I did was ever going to be good enough for Stacie to give me a chance. I should’ve accepted that. It took her taking the steps to delete me from her life for me to get it.
Things were even worse with Kim. What she said and what she actually did were two very different things. Because I so badly wanted things to work in my favor, I decided to ignore how things were and clung desperately to the hope of her words. As time went on, she had no intention of meeting me or of giving me a chance. I let her string me along. It took me a long time to realize I’m better than that.
Kim broke me, yet I am not a broken man. That season of my life broke me of a number of bad habits, of obsessive tendencies, and of the belief that something HAS to happen simply because I want it to happen. Things are going to work out with whomever they are supposed to work with when they’re supposed to work. I’m not sweating it. I know my worth, and I’m not about to waste my time on someone who doesn’t. I don’t feel the stress that I had felt anymore, and there’s a weight lifted off my shoulders.
I stand today because of all the times I have fallen
When you get hit hard, it can be difficult to force yourself to get back up. When you are chronically failing, giving up seems like an increasingly palatable option. I say this as someone who needed an elevator to go UP to rock bottom. Before I got this job, I had to have filled out close to 500 job applications. I had over two dozen interviews. Doors consistently closed in my face, and I had no idea what to do to change my situation.
When I was younger, I had a paralyzing fear of failure. I couldn’t bear the thought of not being good enough (whether in my own mind or in the opinion of others), and it really held me back from going for things. The older I’ve gotten, the more I have realized that defeat isn’t the worst thing. Adversity doesn’t ruin you; it simply means you’ve been battle tested. Each defeat has made me a little stronger, a little smarter, and a little savvier. I am a better man today not because of the good I have done, but for the times I was not quite good enough.
While I was obsessed with the idea of spending the rest of my life with Kim, I took a number of steps back as a person. I am not blaming that on her. My regression was my doing. I apologize for wasting the time of those who had to talk me off many proverbial ledges, but ultimately I’m a better man for it. My failure with Kim broke me of habits and mindsets that should have been broken long ago. The lady I date next will get a better Jakob as a result.
If you are reading this and are frustrated with your current lot in life, all I can do is encourage you to keep going. Things won’t be easy. As a child, I had this idea that life wouldn’t be challenging. Unfortunately, for most of us, life doesn’t come with an “Easy Mode”. Fight hard. Accept your failures. Let them mold you into something better.
I’m not at the top of the world yet, but I’m ascending. I certainly don’t mind the view from up here.
Sunday, March 8, 2015
Hitting Reset
Prior to purchasing an iPod Classic a few months ago, I thought of myself as fairly technologically savvy. However, as proven by a post three months ago (which you can read here), that was not entirely true. This week, I found myself in a similar situation.
I use the iPod primarily for my workouts. I quickly realized that my workouts are significantly more enjoyable when I am in control of what goes into my ears. Gone are the days that I have to endure through Billy Idol’s “Mony Mony” or The Decemberists’ “Down by the Water” ad nauseum. Few things inspire me more than listening to Day at the Fair’s “Everything I’ve Ever Wanted” at the end of a long run.
Recently, however, the iPod was starting to show some wear. Occasionally I would turn set the iPod to “Shuffle” if I wanted some unpredictability to my workouts. Every now and then, the iPod would skip a track and go to the next. I figured it was because the file was corrupt and I needed to check that file out on my computer. Over time, however, more and more songs would skip. When songs would play, they would take a while to get started.
Yesterday my iPod finally got to a point that it wouldn’t play any songs. I let it cycle through over 100 songs, and it would not work at all. I felt extremely frustrated. It seemed as if life was pouring on me again. The past month has not been anything close to what I desired it to be, and this felt like it was just the icing on a fecal cake.
Instead of applying the “Woe is me!” strategy I used last time I had an issue with the device, I went online to see if other people had experienced similar problems. (First word of advice: If you’re going through something in life, there’s at least someone out there who has gone through it as well.) Of course, the exact problem was listed on an Apple help board. In the first response, it was recommended that the person experiencing the problem perform a “hard reset” of the device, and the problem should be solved. I gave it a try, and lo and behold, success!
Again, there are life lessons to be gained from my iPod mishaps. First, things can get out of whack over time. Like my iPod, these things often happen gradually. Every now and then a song might skip, or every now and then you might eat something you shouldn’t, say something you have no right saying, do something that is out of character. If it happens just once, it’s not something that we’re probably going to worry about. Yet if it continues to happen over time, these things could snowball and then there is a greater situation to deal with. If I had decided to reset my iPod sooner (or at the very least, read online about the issues I was having), things never would have gotten to the point they did. One lesson to learn is to be mindful of what is going on in your life. Self-awareness goes a long way towards preventing personal avalanches.
The other (and in my opinion, the more important) lesson to be learned from this situation is the value in hitting the reset button. Sometimes things don’t work as we would like for them to work. Whether that happens due to things in or out of our control is irrelevant. What is important is what we do next. Sometimes all it takes is hitting reset. I would have been out of a lot of money if I had simply given up on this iPod and purchased another, but all I needed to do was hit reset. Likewise, some situations in our lives may look bleak or dire. For one reason or another, they just aren’t working like they used to. Believe me, I know how frustrating and painful that may be. That doesn’t mean you have to give up. Hitting reset doesn’t always entail a change of scenery or characters in your story. Sometimes it just takes a change in attitude and perspective, possibly a clearing of your mind and a step away from things for a bit. Life can be frustrating. It can be painful. But before you give up, try a reset. You might be surprised by the results.
I use the iPod primarily for my workouts. I quickly realized that my workouts are significantly more enjoyable when I am in control of what goes into my ears. Gone are the days that I have to endure through Billy Idol’s “Mony Mony” or The Decemberists’ “Down by the Water” ad nauseum. Few things inspire me more than listening to Day at the Fair’s “Everything I’ve Ever Wanted” at the end of a long run.
Recently, however, the iPod was starting to show some wear. Occasionally I would turn set the iPod to “Shuffle” if I wanted some unpredictability to my workouts. Every now and then, the iPod would skip a track and go to the next. I figured it was because the file was corrupt and I needed to check that file out on my computer. Over time, however, more and more songs would skip. When songs would play, they would take a while to get started.
Yesterday my iPod finally got to a point that it wouldn’t play any songs. I let it cycle through over 100 songs, and it would not work at all. I felt extremely frustrated. It seemed as if life was pouring on me again. The past month has not been anything close to what I desired it to be, and this felt like it was just the icing on a fecal cake.
Instead of applying the “Woe is me!” strategy I used last time I had an issue with the device, I went online to see if other people had experienced similar problems. (First word of advice: If you’re going through something in life, there’s at least someone out there who has gone through it as well.) Of course, the exact problem was listed on an Apple help board. In the first response, it was recommended that the person experiencing the problem perform a “hard reset” of the device, and the problem should be solved. I gave it a try, and lo and behold, success!
Again, there are life lessons to be gained from my iPod mishaps. First, things can get out of whack over time. Like my iPod, these things often happen gradually. Every now and then a song might skip, or every now and then you might eat something you shouldn’t, say something you have no right saying, do something that is out of character. If it happens just once, it’s not something that we’re probably going to worry about. Yet if it continues to happen over time, these things could snowball and then there is a greater situation to deal with. If I had decided to reset my iPod sooner (or at the very least, read online about the issues I was having), things never would have gotten to the point they did. One lesson to learn is to be mindful of what is going on in your life. Self-awareness goes a long way towards preventing personal avalanches.
The other (and in my opinion, the more important) lesson to be learned from this situation is the value in hitting the reset button. Sometimes things don’t work as we would like for them to work. Whether that happens due to things in or out of our control is irrelevant. What is important is what we do next. Sometimes all it takes is hitting reset. I would have been out of a lot of money if I had simply given up on this iPod and purchased another, but all I needed to do was hit reset. Likewise, some situations in our lives may look bleak or dire. For one reason or another, they just aren’t working like they used to. Believe me, I know how frustrating and painful that may be. That doesn’t mean you have to give up. Hitting reset doesn’t always entail a change of scenery or characters in your story. Sometimes it just takes a change in attitude and perspective, possibly a clearing of your mind and a step away from things for a bit. Life can be frustrating. It can be painful. But before you give up, try a reset. You might be surprised by the results.
Saturday, February 14, 2015
It Takes a Lot to Know a Man. It Takes a Lot to Be One, Too.
I am, by no means, a relationship expert. I have a penchant for being overbearing and pushing the people I care about away. This is a flaw I readily admit I have and desire to fix above all else. That said, I do believe I have a decent understanding of people. At the very least, I could write the book on what NOT to do (and if I was writing it based on personal experience, it would probably rival War and Peace in length). This isn’t really about that, though. I’m not here to dispense relationship advice.
It would be difficult to be a good man or a good woman in any era or culture. Our nature is rarely (if ever) inherently good. It is especially difficult to be a good man in 2015. As a man living in 2015, I know this all too well. But I work at it every day. On this Valentine’s Day of 2015, I do not want to write about love lost or love that is yet to be fully discovered. Instead, I have a message for both the men and the ladies. I’ll start with the guys.
It takes a lot to be a man.
Too many people have a misconception of what “being a man” actually entails. No, if you were to provide photographic evidence of what a man should look like, it would not be Meathead Rob Lowe. Being a man is so much more of a state of mind, attitude, and action than it is a physical accomplishment. Being a man is not measured by how much you build your body at the gym. It is measured by how much you put into building up others and building your own character.
As a teacher, one of the most frustrating aspects of my job is seeing how much society has failed our young people. So many of my boys have such an extremely warped view (influenced by their musical and television preferences as well as familial sources) of what a man should be and how a man should treat a woman. It bothers me. Actually, “bother” is not quite what I’m looking for. It infuriates me. Real men do not "holla" at women or call them any number of unkind names. They do not "expose" these women at the first sign of trouble or rejection. As a society, we need to step up and behave as men. The boyish behavior must be left behind.
Being a man does not entail putting on a façade of invincibility. Everyone has areas that hurt more than others. Whether we want to admit it or not, we all have a breaking point. Being a man requires a recognition and admission of our strengths and weaknesses. It requires taking responsibility for our actions. A real man never plays the blame game. If things don’t work in his favor, he works even harder in hopes that the ball bounces his way next time.
The measure of a man is not the wealth or power he has accumulated but rather what he has put into others. A man sacrifices time and energy to not only improve his own well-being but also the well-being of those in whom he has invested. A real man knows that the greatest wealth and power lies in the legacy he leaves behind.
Every woman deserves a real man. This does not mean that you bend over backwards and overdo things to try to fulfill her every whim. I have been guilty of this far more times than I wish to count. However, real men do not look at women as another tool in their belt or a feather in their cap. Women are to be treated with respect without exception. Real men view women as a partner and confidante. Every man needs a reason. A good woman is that reason.
Men, if you find a good woman out there (and I know they exist), love her. Respect her. Cherish her. Don’t smother her. Let her be an independent individual. Work at building something special together. Remember, anything hastily built will crumble. That which is built to last takes time.
It takes a lot to know a man.
Ladies, I have a message for you too. I can only imagine how tough it is to live as a woman. I can’t say I know or will ever know those difficulties firsthand, but I do hope that you can find meaning in what I have to say.
We men are not going to be perfect. It is in our nature to say and do stupid things. Sometimes we do it unknowingly, but sometimes we will say something or send a text and immediately realize how ridiculous we are. Please have patience with us. Sometimes we do dumb things because we’re trying too hard. We only try too hard when we REALLY care.
Not all of us are good men, just as I’m sure that not all women are good women. Sometimes we want to convince ourselves that the person we are with is good deep down, but actions speak louder than a thousand blog posts. Any man who does not treat you with the respect and care that you deserve is not a man who deserves your presence in his life. You deserve the best. Never convince yourself otherwise.
When you find a good man (and I can guarantee you that good men do, indeed, still exist), hold on to him. Support him. Respect him as he respects you. Be the partner and confidante he needs. Behind every good man is a great woman. Inspire him to reach heights he never could have dreamed of reaching before you entered his life.
I know many of you have been wrapped up in the whole Fifty Shades of Grey craze, and if you are, I won’t judge you. I might poke a little fun at you, but I won’t judge! Maybe I would enjoy those too if I were a woman. Just don’t get the idea that your dream man has to be a Christian Grey or a Gideon Cross. A good man who is devoted to you and has fallen for you beats the pants off the mysterious yet tragically flawed and emotionally distant man. A man who loves you for who you are should be enough. If you have that, all the other fun stuff should fall into place.
To the men and the ladies:
It’s a tough world out there, and life doesn’t do us any favors. Despite that, I truly believe if we are the way we are supposed to be, things will fall into place. It might not happen right away, but it will. Be patient. Be picky (in a good way). Don’t settle for less than the best, and definitely don’t settle for anything less than your best.
It would be difficult to be a good man or a good woman in any era or culture. Our nature is rarely (if ever) inherently good. It is especially difficult to be a good man in 2015. As a man living in 2015, I know this all too well. But I work at it every day. On this Valentine’s Day of 2015, I do not want to write about love lost or love that is yet to be fully discovered. Instead, I have a message for both the men and the ladies. I’ll start with the guys.
It takes a lot to be a man.
Too many people have a misconception of what “being a man” actually entails. No, if you were to provide photographic evidence of what a man should look like, it would not be Meathead Rob Lowe. Being a man is so much more of a state of mind, attitude, and action than it is a physical accomplishment. Being a man is not measured by how much you build your body at the gym. It is measured by how much you put into building up others and building your own character.
As a teacher, one of the most frustrating aspects of my job is seeing how much society has failed our young people. So many of my boys have such an extremely warped view (influenced by their musical and television preferences as well as familial sources) of what a man should be and how a man should treat a woman. It bothers me. Actually, “bother” is not quite what I’m looking for. It infuriates me. Real men do not "holla" at women or call them any number of unkind names. They do not "expose" these women at the first sign of trouble or rejection. As a society, we need to step up and behave as men. The boyish behavior must be left behind.
Being a man does not entail putting on a façade of invincibility. Everyone has areas that hurt more than others. Whether we want to admit it or not, we all have a breaking point. Being a man requires a recognition and admission of our strengths and weaknesses. It requires taking responsibility for our actions. A real man never plays the blame game. If things don’t work in his favor, he works even harder in hopes that the ball bounces his way next time.
The measure of a man is not the wealth or power he has accumulated but rather what he has put into others. A man sacrifices time and energy to not only improve his own well-being but also the well-being of those in whom he has invested. A real man knows that the greatest wealth and power lies in the legacy he leaves behind.
Every woman deserves a real man. This does not mean that you bend over backwards and overdo things to try to fulfill her every whim. I have been guilty of this far more times than I wish to count. However, real men do not look at women as another tool in their belt or a feather in their cap. Women are to be treated with respect without exception. Real men view women as a partner and confidante. Every man needs a reason. A good woman is that reason.
Men, if you find a good woman out there (and I know they exist), love her. Respect her. Cherish her. Don’t smother her. Let her be an independent individual. Work at building something special together. Remember, anything hastily built will crumble. That which is built to last takes time.
It takes a lot to know a man.
Ladies, I have a message for you too. I can only imagine how tough it is to live as a woman. I can’t say I know or will ever know those difficulties firsthand, but I do hope that you can find meaning in what I have to say.
We men are not going to be perfect. It is in our nature to say and do stupid things. Sometimes we do it unknowingly, but sometimes we will say something or send a text and immediately realize how ridiculous we are. Please have patience with us. Sometimes we do dumb things because we’re trying too hard. We only try too hard when we REALLY care.
Not all of us are good men, just as I’m sure that not all women are good women. Sometimes we want to convince ourselves that the person we are with is good deep down, but actions speak louder than a thousand blog posts. Any man who does not treat you with the respect and care that you deserve is not a man who deserves your presence in his life. You deserve the best. Never convince yourself otherwise.
When you find a good man (and I can guarantee you that good men do, indeed, still exist), hold on to him. Support him. Respect him as he respects you. Be the partner and confidante he needs. Behind every good man is a great woman. Inspire him to reach heights he never could have dreamed of reaching before you entered his life.
I know many of you have been wrapped up in the whole Fifty Shades of Grey craze, and if you are, I won’t judge you. I might poke a little fun at you, but I won’t judge! Maybe I would enjoy those too if I were a woman. Just don’t get the idea that your dream man has to be a Christian Grey or a Gideon Cross. A good man who is devoted to you and has fallen for you beats the pants off the mysterious yet tragically flawed and emotionally distant man. A man who loves you for who you are should be enough. If you have that, all the other fun stuff should fall into place.
To the men and the ladies:
It’s a tough world out there, and life doesn’t do us any favors. Despite that, I truly believe if we are the way we are supposed to be, things will fall into place. It might not happen right away, but it will. Be patient. Be picky (in a good way). Don’t settle for less than the best, and definitely don’t settle for anything less than your best.
Friday, January 2, 2015
2015: Making It Epic
I believe it is important to have goals. No, I do not believe that January 1st is some sort of magical date in which everything miraculously falls into place, but we all have to start somewhere. A new year is as good a place to start as any!
There's a lot I want to accomplish in 2015. There are exciting things that are going to happen that have nothing to do with any of my goals (my sister having a baby, getting to be a groomsman at one of my better friends' wedding, etc.). That said, I have a lot I want to get done. 2014 left me feeling incomplete in many areas. I do NOT want to end 2015 with that same feeling.
At the beginning of each year, I lay out my goals for the year. This year, I've done something different. Not only have I identified these goals, but I also identified the steps I can take to make them happen as well as certain factors that are beyond my realm of control. I need to focus on the variables I can manipulate and not worry about the rest.
There are goals I have for 2015 that I am not listing here. I fell into some bad habits in 2014. I shared too much. That's not going to happen anymore. Here are just some of the goals that I wish to accomplish in 2015.
1. Finish grad school with a 4.0 GPA
What I can do to make that happen
-Get a passing grade on the last final
2. Write a book
What I can do to make that happen
-Come up with an idea
-Break it off in manageable chunks
-Keep writing
-Use the writing effort that I was using for blogs on this
Factors beyond my control
-Writer’s block
-Time
3. Be more sparing with my words
What I can do to make that happen
-Limit myself to 20-25 blog posts a year. I’ve said enough.
-Severely cut down my time on social media. Cut out all Facebook/Twitter rants.
-Devote that time to more important areas.
4. Get in the best physical condition of my life
What I can do to make that happen
-Two workouts, five days a week: AM lifting, PM cardio
-Work out at home too. Supplement with dumbbells.
-6 days of abs work
5. Learn to play guitar
What I can do to make that happen
-Buy a guitar
-Teach myself
-Practice often
6. Get out of AAA and into a public school
What I can do to make that happen
-Be diligent and vigilant
-Proactively seek out and apply for all jobs from the beginning of the year on
-Study up on Common Core for interview questions
Factors beyond my control
-Can’t make someone hire me
-Nepotism/lack of connections in some school districts
7. Get more ink
What I can do to make that happen
-Set aside money and time
-Choose a tattoo
-Make an appointment
These are some of the many things I have planned for 2015. I'm ready to make things happen.
There's a lot I want to accomplish in 2015. There are exciting things that are going to happen that have nothing to do with any of my goals (my sister having a baby, getting to be a groomsman at one of my better friends' wedding, etc.). That said, I have a lot I want to get done. 2014 left me feeling incomplete in many areas. I do NOT want to end 2015 with that same feeling.
At the beginning of each year, I lay out my goals for the year. This year, I've done something different. Not only have I identified these goals, but I also identified the steps I can take to make them happen as well as certain factors that are beyond my realm of control. I need to focus on the variables I can manipulate and not worry about the rest.
There are goals I have for 2015 that I am not listing here. I fell into some bad habits in 2014. I shared too much. That's not going to happen anymore. Here are just some of the goals that I wish to accomplish in 2015.
1. Finish grad school with a 4.0 GPA
What I can do to make that happen
-Get a passing grade on the last final
2. Write a book
What I can do to make that happen
-Come up with an idea
-Break it off in manageable chunks
-Keep writing
-Use the writing effort that I was using for blogs on this
Factors beyond my control
-Writer’s block
-Time
3. Be more sparing with my words
What I can do to make that happen
-Limit myself to 20-25 blog posts a year. I’ve said enough.
-Severely cut down my time on social media. Cut out all Facebook/Twitter rants.
-Devote that time to more important areas.
4. Get in the best physical condition of my life
What I can do to make that happen
-Two workouts, five days a week: AM lifting, PM cardio
-Work out at home too. Supplement with dumbbells.
-6 days of abs work
5. Learn to play guitar
What I can do to make that happen
-Buy a guitar
-Teach myself
-Practice often
6. Get out of AAA and into a public school
What I can do to make that happen
-Be diligent and vigilant
-Proactively seek out and apply for all jobs from the beginning of the year on
-Study up on Common Core for interview questions
Factors beyond my control
-Can’t make someone hire me
-Nepotism/lack of connections in some school districts
7. Get more ink
What I can do to make that happen
-Set aside money and time
-Choose a tattoo
-Make an appointment
These are some of the many things I have planned for 2015. I'm ready to make things happen.
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