I rarely get to chance to mention this, but I absolutely love leap years. In fact, I’ve never had a bad leap year. Without getting into too much of a personal history lesson, 2000 and 2004 were two of my three favorite years of the last decade, while 2008 was highly productive (and had its moments of enjoyability). 1996 was even my favorite year of the 90s! Really, you can’t go wrong with leap years. I love the Summer Olympics and U.S. Presidential elections. Most importantly, it gives us one extra day to accomplish our goals.
This year I have made a concerted effort to “trim the fat”, so to speak. After literally trimming fat from my body at the end of 2011, I’ve spent 2012 discarding the things and people that were nothing more than an albatross to me. I go to bed much earlier. I work hard, whether it’s at either of my jobs or training for a marathon. I spend significantly less time on mindless drivel and aimless people, and I feel much better for it.
So how did I spend my extra day? I voluntarily got up at 7:15 to run three miles. After that, I took care of some housekeeping before my sister and I enjoyed the delightful weather out at Oak Brook and lunch at Granite City. After that, I got to tutor some kids.
This year I have been able to see myself take significant leaps forward in my life. While I have not reached the desired end destination, I am excited for what is to come. I look forward to more leaps, greater productivity, and sustained success. Keep moving forward.
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Monday, February 13, 2012
On Love, Life, and the Like
Find your other half. Make love happen today. Fall in love for the right reasons. Blah blah blah blah blah. Try getting through one commercial break without seeing a commercial for a dating site, a jewelry store, or a chick flick/romantic comedy. I don’t want to hear it, not because I’m some bitter hardened scrooge of a loser whose better days have passed him by. Without tooting my own horn, I know I’m a commodity. There are probably more people interested in me now than at any point in my life. I am both flattered and humbled by that. I don’t want to hear it because it displays a distinct lack of perspective. In order to get the most out of life, love, and everything in between, there are two things I believe you need to do.
Love others before yourself.
For the most part, we are inherently selfish and overly indulgent. We do what we want to satisfy our own desires and whims. Most of our actions are done from a “me-first” perspective. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing to look out for oneself. Somebody has to do it. However, we take self-preservation and pleasure to extremes and become hypersensitive to our own desires. We need to become more selfless. We need to become as attuned to the wants and desires of those close to us as we are attuned to our own feelings. No one, regardless of their affluence, occupation, or attractiveness, can be successful in a relationship if their sole focus is on the self. Thoughtfulness and understanding is integral to building relationships at the platonic and familial levels, let alone at the romantic level.
Fall in love with yourself before falling in love with someone else.
This is not an argument for narcissism or anything of the sort. It is also not a direct contradiction to the preceding paragraph. It is, however, a fundamental truth when it comes to establishing and maintaining a romantic relationship. It is very difficult for someone to fall in love with a person who has not yet fallen in love with himself. The constant insecurity and self-second guessing is nothing but detrimental to the success of a relationship. On the other side, someone who struggles with love of self is going to have immense difficulty in displaying love towards a significant other. Before even considering the notion of falling in love with someone, fall in love with yourself. Get to know yourself. Take note of the things you like about yourself and work to change the things you do not. Once you’ve gotten a grasp on that, take note of the things you would and would not like in a companion. Stand firm to your desires and convictions, and proceed thusly. Don’t believe the myth of a “better half”.
I personally do not like the idea of an “other half”. I don’t want a half of a person. I don’t consider myself to be a half of a person. I am a whole person who wants a complementary whole person with whom I can form a meaningful connection.
The last thing I want to do is to rush into anything or have something for the sake of having something. My mother, bless her heart, has spent the better portion of the last three years trying to set me up with student teachers and coworkers’ daughters. I appreciate that I am considered “setuppable.” Yes, I just made up that word. But that’s not what I want. I am pleased with where I am and look forward to getting to where I want to be. I encourage you to do the same. If you don’t think you’re “enough” without someone, you’re not going to be “enough” with someone, either.
Love others before yourself.
For the most part, we are inherently selfish and overly indulgent. We do what we want to satisfy our own desires and whims. Most of our actions are done from a “me-first” perspective. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing to look out for oneself. Somebody has to do it. However, we take self-preservation and pleasure to extremes and become hypersensitive to our own desires. We need to become more selfless. We need to become as attuned to the wants and desires of those close to us as we are attuned to our own feelings. No one, regardless of their affluence, occupation, or attractiveness, can be successful in a relationship if their sole focus is on the self. Thoughtfulness and understanding is integral to building relationships at the platonic and familial levels, let alone at the romantic level.
Fall in love with yourself before falling in love with someone else.
This is not an argument for narcissism or anything of the sort. It is also not a direct contradiction to the preceding paragraph. It is, however, a fundamental truth when it comes to establishing and maintaining a romantic relationship. It is very difficult for someone to fall in love with a person who has not yet fallen in love with himself. The constant insecurity and self-second guessing is nothing but detrimental to the success of a relationship. On the other side, someone who struggles with love of self is going to have immense difficulty in displaying love towards a significant other. Before even considering the notion of falling in love with someone, fall in love with yourself. Get to know yourself. Take note of the things you like about yourself and work to change the things you do not. Once you’ve gotten a grasp on that, take note of the things you would and would not like in a companion. Stand firm to your desires and convictions, and proceed thusly. Don’t believe the myth of a “better half”.
I personally do not like the idea of an “other half”. I don’t want a half of a person. I don’t consider myself to be a half of a person. I am a whole person who wants a complementary whole person with whom I can form a meaningful connection.
The last thing I want to do is to rush into anything or have something for the sake of having something. My mother, bless her heart, has spent the better portion of the last three years trying to set me up with student teachers and coworkers’ daughters. I appreciate that I am considered “setuppable.” Yes, I just made up that word. But that’s not what I want. I am pleased with where I am and look forward to getting to where I want to be. I encourage you to do the same. If you don’t think you’re “enough” without someone, you’re not going to be “enough” with someone, either.
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Jakob vs. Jakob, or the Rebranding of My Competitive Nature
If you read my apologia or have known me since the late 1990s or before, you know that Mr. Clifton was and is my favorite teacher and holds a great deal of responsibility for my interest in the field of education. Therefore, it should come as no surprise to you that it is always a pleasure to hear from him. The last time I heard from him was a little different. One innocuous tweet unearthed an old wound and spurred hours of deep thought about things that somehow escaped mention in my apologia.
…just heard from Darnell…hard to believe we are (13) years removed from the dirigible incident…
The “dirigible incident” which he alluded to had to do with the last spelling bee I took part in. Before you take any shots at me, yes, I was one of “those” kids. I partook in Spelling Bees, Speech Meets, and Math Olympics. And without tooting my own horn, I was pretty good. Going into 6th grade, I won all four spelling bees I had entered, took home three blue ribbons at the speech meet, and won two of the three math competitions I had entered. However, victory did not bring with it a sense of accomplishment or relief. Of course I enjoyed success, but each victory brought with it a greater pressure to accomplish more. That really came to a head by early 1999.
With the ACSI spelling bees, victory did not end in the classroom for 5th through 8th grade students. There were three additional rounds: the “stage” round (for the first and second place finishers in the 5th through 8th grade competitions), the regional spelling bee (which the top four stage finishers qualified for), and the ACSI National Spelling Bee in Washington, D.C.
That spelling bee was the hardest fought of any spelling bee I had entered. Katie Prosapio and I fought tooth and nail for rounds and rounds before I finally bested her. Neither of us had any time to recover. It was off to the stage!
I drew the 8th (and best) seat for that round. Even if I got my word wrong, there was the off chance that I’d already have qualified thanks to four people before me missing their words. Sadly, nobody had missed by that point.
My word was dirigible. To this day I contend that the spellmaster mispronounced it. That is irrelevant. I misspelled the word and was eliminated.
To say I was crushed would be an understatement. For a number of years I was a fairly big fish in a small pond. Not only did I feel the pond expanding, I could see the fish growing around me. I followed up the letdown at the spelling bee with a (much less desired) red ribbon and a “thanks for trying” honorable mention in the math competition. For the first time in my life, I wasn’t achieving my goals.
The losses of 1999 created a dramatic rebranding in me. I could not carry on in that way any longer. I absolutely could not handle losing. It ate at me. The mere thought of potential loss completely consumed me to the point of reduced functionality. Things needed to change. That was the end of spelling bees, speech meets, and math competitions.
I know that it is very difficult to change overnight. However, it is much simpler to shift some things around in order to create that change. It would’ve been unreasonable for me to believe that I needed to immediately stop being competitive. That just doesn’t go away. It WAS reasonable to believe that I could channel my competitive juices elsewhere. And thus, the Jakob Duehr that you know and possibly tolerate was created.
Do I still hate losing? Absolutely. It still riles me every time my Seahawks lose. Just imagine how it would be if I were actually competing myself! But I try my best to stay as uncompetitive as possible when it comes to other people. Sure, I do the fantasy football thing, but my interest in that has waned over time. Games and competitions against other people fail to interest me because I have spent the better part of the last 13 years in another game. I am constantly at battle with myself. I set goals for myself, and I am consistently trying to be a better Jakob than the Jakob I used to be.
Running has been a great thing for me in that regard. I have a tangible and objective way of determining how much better I have become. This week I ran a 5k in just over 21 minutes. That is 3 minutes better than the time I ran on New Year’s Eve in Matteson, which was 2 minutes faster than the previous best time. I am constantly setting new goals for myself. You may call that being a malcontent. I call it a creative way to channel my competitive energy.
Sure, some people may call me obsessive, and in some regards they would be right. I have had the tendency to burn out at times. I have also tended to have such tunnel vision in regards to my continuous self-competition that I have neglected other areas of my life. Rest assured that part of self-competition is that I am always trying to get better. I’ll wage war on those areas, and I believe I will emerge victorious.
I got a follow up tweet from Mr. Clifton. It read as follows:
…[you] would have been dominant in 7th grade… D.C. Fo Sho…
While I appreciate the sentiment, I likely wouldn’t have. The fear of loss would’ve consumed me, and the competition was steadily improving. Even if I had won, the fleeting contentment I would have gotten from the victory would not have been worth it. Could things have been different? Maybe. But I’m fine with the way things worked out.
…just heard from Darnell…hard to believe we are (13) years removed from the dirigible incident…
The “dirigible incident” which he alluded to had to do with the last spelling bee I took part in. Before you take any shots at me, yes, I was one of “those” kids. I partook in Spelling Bees, Speech Meets, and Math Olympics. And without tooting my own horn, I was pretty good. Going into 6th grade, I won all four spelling bees I had entered, took home three blue ribbons at the speech meet, and won two of the three math competitions I had entered. However, victory did not bring with it a sense of accomplishment or relief. Of course I enjoyed success, but each victory brought with it a greater pressure to accomplish more. That really came to a head by early 1999.
With the ACSI spelling bees, victory did not end in the classroom for 5th through 8th grade students. There were three additional rounds: the “stage” round (for the first and second place finishers in the 5th through 8th grade competitions), the regional spelling bee (which the top four stage finishers qualified for), and the ACSI National Spelling Bee in Washington, D.C.
That spelling bee was the hardest fought of any spelling bee I had entered. Katie Prosapio and I fought tooth and nail for rounds and rounds before I finally bested her. Neither of us had any time to recover. It was off to the stage!
I drew the 8th (and best) seat for that round. Even if I got my word wrong, there was the off chance that I’d already have qualified thanks to four people before me missing their words. Sadly, nobody had missed by that point.
My word was dirigible. To this day I contend that the spellmaster mispronounced it. That is irrelevant. I misspelled the word and was eliminated.
To say I was crushed would be an understatement. For a number of years I was a fairly big fish in a small pond. Not only did I feel the pond expanding, I could see the fish growing around me. I followed up the letdown at the spelling bee with a (much less desired) red ribbon and a “thanks for trying” honorable mention in the math competition. For the first time in my life, I wasn’t achieving my goals.
The losses of 1999 created a dramatic rebranding in me. I could not carry on in that way any longer. I absolutely could not handle losing. It ate at me. The mere thought of potential loss completely consumed me to the point of reduced functionality. Things needed to change. That was the end of spelling bees, speech meets, and math competitions.
I know that it is very difficult to change overnight. However, it is much simpler to shift some things around in order to create that change. It would’ve been unreasonable for me to believe that I needed to immediately stop being competitive. That just doesn’t go away. It WAS reasonable to believe that I could channel my competitive juices elsewhere. And thus, the Jakob Duehr that you know and possibly tolerate was created.
Do I still hate losing? Absolutely. It still riles me every time my Seahawks lose. Just imagine how it would be if I were actually competing myself! But I try my best to stay as uncompetitive as possible when it comes to other people. Sure, I do the fantasy football thing, but my interest in that has waned over time. Games and competitions against other people fail to interest me because I have spent the better part of the last 13 years in another game. I am constantly at battle with myself. I set goals for myself, and I am consistently trying to be a better Jakob than the Jakob I used to be.
Running has been a great thing for me in that regard. I have a tangible and objective way of determining how much better I have become. This week I ran a 5k in just over 21 minutes. That is 3 minutes better than the time I ran on New Year’s Eve in Matteson, which was 2 minutes faster than the previous best time. I am constantly setting new goals for myself. You may call that being a malcontent. I call it a creative way to channel my competitive energy.
Sure, some people may call me obsessive, and in some regards they would be right. I have had the tendency to burn out at times. I have also tended to have such tunnel vision in regards to my continuous self-competition that I have neglected other areas of my life. Rest assured that part of self-competition is that I am always trying to get better. I’ll wage war on those areas, and I believe I will emerge victorious.
I got a follow up tweet from Mr. Clifton. It read as follows:
…[you] would have been dominant in 7th grade… D.C. Fo Sho…
While I appreciate the sentiment, I likely wouldn’t have. The fear of loss would’ve consumed me, and the competition was steadily improving. Even if I had won, the fleeting contentment I would have gotten from the victory would not have been worth it. Could things have been different? Maybe. But I’m fine with the way things worked out.
Monday, January 9, 2012
The Ultimate Test of Body and Mind (Yes, I'm really running a marathon)
As I have said countless times, I like to set very high goals for myself. The sense of accomplishment is that much greater, and the pursuit of the goal is much more enjoyable and exhilarating. It’s about time to officially (though many of you know this already) announce the top item on my 2012 To-Do List.
In the last few months I have gotten myself into excellent shape. I eat better, but more importantly I exercise like it’s going out of style. I hit the gym anywhere between five and seven days a week. The majority of my exercising is of the cardiovascular variety. When I lost weight in 2008 (and again in late 2011), I did it primarily through the use of the elliptical. Towards the end of 2011, I began to get bored with the elliptical, so I finally gave running a try. I was surprised to find out that I was actually pretty good at the whole running thing, so I kept it up.
When I began to lose weight again, my dad jokingly invited my sister (a top-class sprinter in her day) and me to run a marathon in spring. Heidi isn’t much for long-distance running and her work schedule is pretty hectic, so she quickly bowed out. I, however gave it some thought.
The more I thought about it, the more I embraced the idea. I am going to be 25 in spring. It’s about time I start doing some amazing things. I’ve accomplished some decent things in my time, but nothing quite to this level. I’ve gotten myself in excellent physical condition. I might as well put that to good use.
Starting at the end of this month, I will be officially starting my marathon training. I even got new running shoes today! The race is the first weekend of May. At this point I can run 8 miles without any discomfort. I look forward to the challenge of working my way up to 26.2 miles. It is the ultimate test of body and mind, and I am excited to achieve this goal. This is my time. I will let nothing stand in my way.
In the last few months I have gotten myself into excellent shape. I eat better, but more importantly I exercise like it’s going out of style. I hit the gym anywhere between five and seven days a week. The majority of my exercising is of the cardiovascular variety. When I lost weight in 2008 (and again in late 2011), I did it primarily through the use of the elliptical. Towards the end of 2011, I began to get bored with the elliptical, so I finally gave running a try. I was surprised to find out that I was actually pretty good at the whole running thing, so I kept it up.
When I began to lose weight again, my dad jokingly invited my sister (a top-class sprinter in her day) and me to run a marathon in spring. Heidi isn’t much for long-distance running and her work schedule is pretty hectic, so she quickly bowed out. I, however gave it some thought.
The more I thought about it, the more I embraced the idea. I am going to be 25 in spring. It’s about time I start doing some amazing things. I’ve accomplished some decent things in my time, but nothing quite to this level. I’ve gotten myself in excellent physical condition. I might as well put that to good use.
Starting at the end of this month, I will be officially starting my marathon training. I even got new running shoes today! The race is the first weekend of May. At this point I can run 8 miles without any discomfort. I look forward to the challenge of working my way up to 26.2 miles. It is the ultimate test of body and mind, and I am excited to achieve this goal. This is my time. I will let nothing stand in my way.
Monday, January 2, 2012
2012: Let NOTHING Stand in Your Way
Over the last three years, I have definitely felt myself getting “older”, so to speak. Somehow, I have managed to get a small bit wiser over that period of time as well. One way I have managed to get wiser is in making New Year’s “resolutions”. If you look at them in that light, you increase the pressure on yourself and put way too much stock in one day out of the year. If you want to get something done, you don’t need to wait until the next January 1st to get started. If I had done that, I would not be in the physical condition I am now. That said, I am all for setting goals, and I am a proponent of making a “To-Do List” for the year. This list can be amended at any time. Goals can be deleted, added, or altered to fit the landscape of the year. Here is my To-Do List for 2012.
• Run at least 1000 miles over the course of the year. This goal originally was to burn 250,000 calories with my cardio in 2012, but plans have certainly changed, as has my workout. I am no longer exclusively bound to the elliptical. I am actually enjoying my current workout, and I look forward to increasing my mileage. I have another major goal related to this goal, but it is getting a blog post of its own. It’s that big of a goal.
• Continue work on getting the abdominal six pack. At this point, that region of my body looks better than it ever has, but I am not quite there yet. With a smart diet and a consistent exercise regimen, I fully believe that this long-elusive goal can be met this year.
• Become a more patient driver. When I have some place I need to be, I like getting there as early as possible. When I am on my way home, I like getting home as quickly as possible. Because of those desires, I can be a bit impatient behind the wheel. While I have never been prone to road rage, it is one of the few areas of my life that I have difficulty holding back my frustration. I want to see marked improvement in that this year.
• Figure out my professional life in the moderate-term. I have my job situation pretty well figured out in the short term. I have two jobs, and I enjoy them both. That said, I do want a full time career, whether it’s a full time teaching job or something full time that is closer to what I do at the learning center. I’d like to get something in place this year so I don’t have to continue to look/worry/fret/etc.
• Take a vacation. I have wanted to go on trips for the last two years. I didn’t work hard enough to justify doing so. I have put a lot of time and effort into both my jobs in the past year, and after I accomplish the year’s “Big Goal”, I’d like to reward myself and hopefully get the chance to meet some people I have yet to meet in person.
• Cut down on the use of social networking. I enjoy Twitter, Facebook, and Stickam as much as the next person, but in the long run, it’s nothing more than an entertaining diversion. I have enough going on between my jobs and my physical training that I don’t need to spend a ton of time on any of these. While I still plan on using my Facebook and Twitter often, I intend to reduce the volume of time I spend on them. As far as Stickam is concerned, I intend to drastically cut down on the time spent there.
• Expand my writing kingdom. I enjoy having this blog. I really do. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have 130+ posts to this point. That said, there are other arenas that I enjoy that I have yet to explore in terms of putting my writing skills to use. That will affect this blog. I intend on drawing back on posts with this blog to approximately 25 this year. All the annual posts will still be done, so there will be no change that way. In addition to this blog, I plan on launching two new websites. One of these sites coincides with my love of pro wrestling (primarily the WWE), and the other will be a music site. I have a lot of ideas for both of those sites, and I hope to get them launched and running by the end of this year.
I am excited about my 2012 To-Do List, and I am very confident that this list will be completed in its entirety. I intend to add and amend as I go along this year. I encourage all of you to set a number of short and long-term goals and attack them with confidence, intensity, and intelligence. As Henry Ford once said, “Whether you think you can, or that you can’t, you’re usually right.” Our moment is now. Let NOTHING stand in your way.
• Run at least 1000 miles over the course of the year. This goal originally was to burn 250,000 calories with my cardio in 2012, but plans have certainly changed, as has my workout. I am no longer exclusively bound to the elliptical. I am actually enjoying my current workout, and I look forward to increasing my mileage. I have another major goal related to this goal, but it is getting a blog post of its own. It’s that big of a goal.
• Continue work on getting the abdominal six pack. At this point, that region of my body looks better than it ever has, but I am not quite there yet. With a smart diet and a consistent exercise regimen, I fully believe that this long-elusive goal can be met this year.
• Become a more patient driver. When I have some place I need to be, I like getting there as early as possible. When I am on my way home, I like getting home as quickly as possible. Because of those desires, I can be a bit impatient behind the wheel. While I have never been prone to road rage, it is one of the few areas of my life that I have difficulty holding back my frustration. I want to see marked improvement in that this year.
• Figure out my professional life in the moderate-term. I have my job situation pretty well figured out in the short term. I have two jobs, and I enjoy them both. That said, I do want a full time career, whether it’s a full time teaching job or something full time that is closer to what I do at the learning center. I’d like to get something in place this year so I don’t have to continue to look/worry/fret/etc.
• Take a vacation. I have wanted to go on trips for the last two years. I didn’t work hard enough to justify doing so. I have put a lot of time and effort into both my jobs in the past year, and after I accomplish the year’s “Big Goal”, I’d like to reward myself and hopefully get the chance to meet some people I have yet to meet in person.
• Cut down on the use of social networking. I enjoy Twitter, Facebook, and Stickam as much as the next person, but in the long run, it’s nothing more than an entertaining diversion. I have enough going on between my jobs and my physical training that I don’t need to spend a ton of time on any of these. While I still plan on using my Facebook and Twitter often, I intend to reduce the volume of time I spend on them. As far as Stickam is concerned, I intend to drastically cut down on the time spent there.
• Expand my writing kingdom. I enjoy having this blog. I really do. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have 130+ posts to this point. That said, there are other arenas that I enjoy that I have yet to explore in terms of putting my writing skills to use. That will affect this blog. I intend on drawing back on posts with this blog to approximately 25 this year. All the annual posts will still be done, so there will be no change that way. In addition to this blog, I plan on launching two new websites. One of these sites coincides with my love of pro wrestling (primarily the WWE), and the other will be a music site. I have a lot of ideas for both of those sites, and I hope to get them launched and running by the end of this year.
I am excited about my 2012 To-Do List, and I am very confident that this list will be completed in its entirety. I intend to add and amend as I go along this year. I encourage all of you to set a number of short and long-term goals and attack them with confidence, intensity, and intelligence. As Henry Ford once said, “Whether you think you can, or that you can’t, you’re usually right.” Our moment is now. Let NOTHING stand in your way.
Saturday, December 31, 2011
2011 in Review
It is the time of the year for one of my favorite traditions: the “Year in Review” post. This year was certainly not what I expected it to be. There were a lot of twist and turns over the course of the year. For once, that was a good thing. Sure, the year wasn’t perfect, but perfection is not a necessity. So, without further ado, here is the year in review.
January: The year got off to a little bit of a rough start, as I had my first bout of illness since mid-2009 (a doozy of a cold). It was a fairly snowy month filled with a lot of subbing at Century. It was during this time subbing that I realized that Century was by far my favorite school to sub. I had the opportunity to once again go to Rosemont for a teacher fair, and all it amounted to was a wasted Saturday. By far the highlight of the month was the Seahawks’ playoff upset over the Saints.
February: I don’t know what it is about my Februaries, but they rarely are eventful. Maybe it’s because February is such a short month. Who knows? I subbed, shaved off my beard, and felt pretty depressed most of the time. That was it.
March: This month is really when the year started to turn around. I worked a lot, which was good from a productivity and monetary standpoint, but I also got to enjoy two amazing days with friends. On the last Friday in March, I went with Dan and Andy on a mini-road trip to Decatur to see my favorite band (The Graduate) in concert. It was an amazing show and I got a chance to talk with the guys in the band afterward. I also picked up two new band shirts (which are among my favorite articles of clothing). The following Monday, Rob and I went to see WWE Raw at the Allstate Arena. While the in-ring action was nothing to write home about, seeing The Rock (or The Dwayne as I like to call him) is always awesome.
April: My birthday month is rarely a bad month. I was able to once again watch WrestleMania with my Uncle Jerry and Aunt Lisa. As usual, I had a good birthday filled with all sorts of nice messages and gestures from the people who matter to me. I began to work on improving my teaching materials in the event that I got an interview, and during that process I was able to meet with a principal who gave me a number of valuable resources to aid me in my quest for a teaching job.
May: I finally got an interview for a full-time teaching position. The interview went as well as it could have possibly gone. The interviewer interrupted me on a number of occasions to make a remark about how much she liked my answer. Things were looking good. Unfortunately, due to some district politics, the rug was swept out from under me and the position “disappeared”. While I do make my best effort to live my life devoid of expectations, I would be lying if I said I hadn’t gotten my hopes up. It was very deflating, but I resolved to not let it keep me down.
June: When that door closed, another opened. While it was not a full time teaching position, it was still a pretty amazing thing. I was able to gain employment as an instructor at Huntington Learning Center in June. Though this month was not spent doing much work other than training, I quickly realized that this job was easily the best job I have ever had.
July: This was another excellent month. I was able to really dig in and get settled in the Huntington job, and Rob and I were able to get together to see another WWE event. This event was undoubtedly the best event of the year, and we had AMAZING seats thanks to good shopping by me. I also had the opportunity to go to Six Flags with Heidi and Andy, and though we were stuck on top of the American Eagle for an hour on a 90+ degree day, we still had a good time.
August: As the summer came to an end, I still was without a full time teaching job. I was not as bummed as in years past, however. I had the Huntington job and subbing was about to resume. I also had the unexpected pleasure of the opportunity to meet and have lunch with Staci. It was a great day with a pretty awesome person. At the end of the month, I attended the farewell concert for The Graduate. Though it was a bittersweet occasion, it was still a great show and I got a great spot right in front of the stage (where I can be seen on multiple occasions in The Graduate: From the Ground Up).
September: I got used to a new routine. Huntington transitioned to night hours, and I got back into the swing of subbing. Thankfully I have had the privilege of doing 90% of my subbing at Century, and it truly has subbing exponentially more enjoyable. The month was not entirely great, however. I stepped on the scale for the first time in nearly two years and was horrified to find out that I had gained over half the weight I had lost in 2008. I should’ve realized it when I looked in the mirror and when my pants began to fit more tightly, but I didn’t. I resolved to get down to my Driver’s License weight (183 lb) by December 31.
October: This was another enjoyable month, as redundant as that is getting to say. I began to work out like a machine. The weight began to literally sweat off me, and I began to feel (and look) good again. I began the month with a fun trip to Michigan City, Indiana with my parents and my sister and ended the month with an impromptu trip downtown with Heidi and Andy to buy a pea coat. The chance to meet Jannelle in person unfortunately fell through, which was disappointing. All in all it was still a good month.
November: It is a great feeling to accomplish a goal. It is an even greater feeling to accomplish a goal in half the time you expected. My extremely strenuous cardiovascular workouts resulted in the 183 pound goal being met well before Thanksgiving. It allowed me to stress out less (even as I eventually lost 13 more pounds) about what I ate and branch out in my style of workout. This was also a productive month at work, as subbing calls remained consistent and Huntington allowed me to begin doing some 1-to-1 instruction. Thanksgiving was very enjoyable (certainly far less stressful than Christmas), and a Black Friday trip to the Grand Luxe downtown was a great time.
December: The year ended on a high note. Both jobs kept me sufficiently busy and well-compensated monetarily. I had the opportunity to see some friends that I had not seen in a while. I began to take up running. In fact, I just got home from running my first 5k race in 24 and a half minutes. Let me type that again in italics. The guy who three months ago weighed 205 pounds and had a muffin top runs now, and runs well enough to beat 75% of the other people in the race. It blows my mind. I look and feel so much differently than I did in September. Christmas wasn’t all that great, but hey, you can’t win them all!
I learned a lot about life and myself this year. I did many things this year that I probably would’ve thought impossible at other points. I made new friendships, lost some friendships, and rekindled friendships I thought were dead and buried. I gained weight, and lost it. I lost some opportunities and gained others. The year was full of great moments with the people I care about. I did not accomplish all my goals, but I do aim fairly high, and there is always next year.
If I were to grade my last few years in football terms, 2009 was a year full of high expectations and a hot start (4-0), only to bottom out and finish 5-11. 2010 was an absolute stinker all around, a 2-14 team. This year has not been all that different than the 2011 Seattle Seahawks. Though there were no expectations, the year has been much better than expected, and best part of all is that the groundwork has been laid for a very bright future. I give this year a 10-6 record.
Thanks for being a part of this year. I really have enjoyed it, and I look forward to a great 2012. Stay tuned to this blog in the near future for some pretty big news moving forward. All the best!
January: The year got off to a little bit of a rough start, as I had my first bout of illness since mid-2009 (a doozy of a cold). It was a fairly snowy month filled with a lot of subbing at Century. It was during this time subbing that I realized that Century was by far my favorite school to sub. I had the opportunity to once again go to Rosemont for a teacher fair, and all it amounted to was a wasted Saturday. By far the highlight of the month was the Seahawks’ playoff upset over the Saints.
February: I don’t know what it is about my Februaries, but they rarely are eventful. Maybe it’s because February is such a short month. Who knows? I subbed, shaved off my beard, and felt pretty depressed most of the time. That was it.
March: This month is really when the year started to turn around. I worked a lot, which was good from a productivity and monetary standpoint, but I also got to enjoy two amazing days with friends. On the last Friday in March, I went with Dan and Andy on a mini-road trip to Decatur to see my favorite band (The Graduate) in concert. It was an amazing show and I got a chance to talk with the guys in the band afterward. I also picked up two new band shirts (which are among my favorite articles of clothing). The following Monday, Rob and I went to see WWE Raw at the Allstate Arena. While the in-ring action was nothing to write home about, seeing The Rock (or The Dwayne as I like to call him) is always awesome.
April: My birthday month is rarely a bad month. I was able to once again watch WrestleMania with my Uncle Jerry and Aunt Lisa. As usual, I had a good birthday filled with all sorts of nice messages and gestures from the people who matter to me. I began to work on improving my teaching materials in the event that I got an interview, and during that process I was able to meet with a principal who gave me a number of valuable resources to aid me in my quest for a teaching job.
May: I finally got an interview for a full-time teaching position. The interview went as well as it could have possibly gone. The interviewer interrupted me on a number of occasions to make a remark about how much she liked my answer. Things were looking good. Unfortunately, due to some district politics, the rug was swept out from under me and the position “disappeared”. While I do make my best effort to live my life devoid of expectations, I would be lying if I said I hadn’t gotten my hopes up. It was very deflating, but I resolved to not let it keep me down.
June: When that door closed, another opened. While it was not a full time teaching position, it was still a pretty amazing thing. I was able to gain employment as an instructor at Huntington Learning Center in June. Though this month was not spent doing much work other than training, I quickly realized that this job was easily the best job I have ever had.
July: This was another excellent month. I was able to really dig in and get settled in the Huntington job, and Rob and I were able to get together to see another WWE event. This event was undoubtedly the best event of the year, and we had AMAZING seats thanks to good shopping by me. I also had the opportunity to go to Six Flags with Heidi and Andy, and though we were stuck on top of the American Eagle for an hour on a 90+ degree day, we still had a good time.
August: As the summer came to an end, I still was without a full time teaching job. I was not as bummed as in years past, however. I had the Huntington job and subbing was about to resume. I also had the unexpected pleasure of the opportunity to meet and have lunch with Staci. It was a great day with a pretty awesome person. At the end of the month, I attended the farewell concert for The Graduate. Though it was a bittersweet occasion, it was still a great show and I got a great spot right in front of the stage (where I can be seen on multiple occasions in The Graduate: From the Ground Up).
September: I got used to a new routine. Huntington transitioned to night hours, and I got back into the swing of subbing. Thankfully I have had the privilege of doing 90% of my subbing at Century, and it truly has subbing exponentially more enjoyable. The month was not entirely great, however. I stepped on the scale for the first time in nearly two years and was horrified to find out that I had gained over half the weight I had lost in 2008. I should’ve realized it when I looked in the mirror and when my pants began to fit more tightly, but I didn’t. I resolved to get down to my Driver’s License weight (183 lb) by December 31.
October: This was another enjoyable month, as redundant as that is getting to say. I began to work out like a machine. The weight began to literally sweat off me, and I began to feel (and look) good again. I began the month with a fun trip to Michigan City, Indiana with my parents and my sister and ended the month with an impromptu trip downtown with Heidi and Andy to buy a pea coat. The chance to meet Jannelle in person unfortunately fell through, which was disappointing. All in all it was still a good month.
November: It is a great feeling to accomplish a goal. It is an even greater feeling to accomplish a goal in half the time you expected. My extremely strenuous cardiovascular workouts resulted in the 183 pound goal being met well before Thanksgiving. It allowed me to stress out less (even as I eventually lost 13 more pounds) about what I ate and branch out in my style of workout. This was also a productive month at work, as subbing calls remained consistent and Huntington allowed me to begin doing some 1-to-1 instruction. Thanksgiving was very enjoyable (certainly far less stressful than Christmas), and a Black Friday trip to the Grand Luxe downtown was a great time.
December: The year ended on a high note. Both jobs kept me sufficiently busy and well-compensated monetarily. I had the opportunity to see some friends that I had not seen in a while. I began to take up running. In fact, I just got home from running my first 5k race in 24 and a half minutes. Let me type that again in italics. The guy who three months ago weighed 205 pounds and had a muffin top runs now, and runs well enough to beat 75% of the other people in the race. It blows my mind. I look and feel so much differently than I did in September. Christmas wasn’t all that great, but hey, you can’t win them all!
I learned a lot about life and myself this year. I did many things this year that I probably would’ve thought impossible at other points. I made new friendships, lost some friendships, and rekindled friendships I thought were dead and buried. I gained weight, and lost it. I lost some opportunities and gained others. The year was full of great moments with the people I care about. I did not accomplish all my goals, but I do aim fairly high, and there is always next year.
If I were to grade my last few years in football terms, 2009 was a year full of high expectations and a hot start (4-0), only to bottom out and finish 5-11. 2010 was an absolute stinker all around, a 2-14 team. This year has not been all that different than the 2011 Seattle Seahawks. Though there were no expectations, the year has been much better than expected, and best part of all is that the groundwork has been laid for a very bright future. I give this year a 10-6 record.
Thanks for being a part of this year. I really have enjoyed it, and I look forward to a great 2012. Stay tuned to this blog in the near future for some pretty big news moving forward. All the best!
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Life as an Outsider
You've probably noticed that this blog is generally free of things having to do with religion or politics. That is by design. While I believe many things, I do not feel it is my place to thrust those beliefs at you. Whether I agree with your viewpoints or not, one of the perks of being human is having the nature to choose what is best for you. That said, it is minutes away from being Christmas here in Illinois, and I do subscribe to my own brand of nontraditional Christian ideology. Therefore, I'm going to bring up Jesus in a paragraph or two. If you don't like it, I'll have another post up tomorrow night. You can just check that one.
A common thread concerning the life and ministry of Jesus was that He was an outsider. This began at birth. There was no room at the inn, so even the childbirth was done as an outsider. During His life and ministry, He hung out with the outcasts and was considered a heretic by members of the religious community. None of that ever adversely affected the ministry. If anything it strengthened the appeal.
If you look at many of the people who have changed the world, one commonality is that they weren't the type that would easily fit in. That doesn't mean that they were social outcasts or total misfits. It is a side effect of being exceptional.
I don't know if I will ever change the world. I have not been blessed with that foresight. I do know that for most (if not all) of my life I have felt like an outsider. No matter where I was, I never felt like I quite fit in. For years, it ate at me. I'd be constantly changing myself trying to feel like I belonged. It never worked. In fact, it only made me feel worse. Only when I accepted the fact I was an outsider did I begin to enjoy life.
Being an outsider really isn't a bad thing. Being different is what makes you stand out. At times it may feel lonely, but if it was good enough for Jesus, it's good enough for me.
A common thread concerning the life and ministry of Jesus was that He was an outsider. This began at birth. There was no room at the inn, so even the childbirth was done as an outsider. During His life and ministry, He hung out with the outcasts and was considered a heretic by members of the religious community. None of that ever adversely affected the ministry. If anything it strengthened the appeal.
If you look at many of the people who have changed the world, one commonality is that they weren't the type that would easily fit in. That doesn't mean that they were social outcasts or total misfits. It is a side effect of being exceptional.
I don't know if I will ever change the world. I have not been blessed with that foresight. I do know that for most (if not all) of my life I have felt like an outsider. No matter where I was, I never felt like I quite fit in. For years, it ate at me. I'd be constantly changing myself trying to feel like I belonged. It never worked. In fact, it only made me feel worse. Only when I accepted the fact I was an outsider did I begin to enjoy life.
Being an outsider really isn't a bad thing. Being different is what makes you stand out. At times it may feel lonely, but if it was good enough for Jesus, it's good enough for me.
Friday, December 23, 2011
My Five Favorite Christmas Traditions
You already know by now that I am a huge fan of tradition. While I am not as bound to it as I once was, I still absolutely love them. Holidays are an especially good time for observing traditions. I'm in a bit of a rush, so I'm not going to go into too much depth. If I have time soon, I'll go back and add some detail to these. Right now they will be strictly in list form. Here are my five favorite Christmas traditions (in no particular order). Some of these traditions have been dormant/retired, but they were still pretty awesome.
1. Andy's treasure hunts for our gifts.
2. The code at Aunt Helen's
3. The food at Grandma and Grandpa's
4. The awkwardness produced by seeing certain relatives
5. Christmas morning with the four of us (and Buttons <3)
1. Andy's treasure hunts for our gifts.
2. The code at Aunt Helen's
3. The food at Grandma and Grandpa's
4. The awkwardness produced by seeing certain relatives
5. Christmas morning with the four of us (and Buttons <3)
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Fear: The Good and The Bad
Whether we like to admit it or not, we either are or have been afraid of something over the courses of our lives. Many people are afraid of many different things. When I was a small child, my two most notable (and most ridiculous) fears were of pinecones and of Chuck E. Cheese. While I still am not entirely sure of the basis for my fear of pinecones, my fear of Chuck E. Cheese stemmed from my issues with duplicity. I could see the mechanical Chuck E. Cheese on the stage and could not possibly understand how another Chuck E. Cheese could be roaming the building. It totally freaked me out.
While it is never a good thing to have phobia-level fears, fear can be both good and bad. From an early age, we were all trained to have an instinctual fear of consequences.
If you touch the stove, your finger will be burned.
If you do not look both ways, you might get picked off by that car.
If you do not follow directions, something may be taken away from you.
If you tell her that she looks fat in that dress, you might get slapped in the face.
In each of those instances, we would likely make the choice connected to self-preservation. Very few of us are masochistic enough to choose otherwise. Fear of consequences is both healthy and productive.
Fear of failure, however, is unhealthy. Too often we internally rationalize our fear of failure by incorrectly connecting it to a fear of consequences.
If I don’t do this the right way, something bad COULD happen to me, and my life would be ruined.
If I ask her out, she might say no, and everyone will think I’m a creep and a loser. My social status would sink to an all-time low.
There is always a chance of failure. Some actions have a higher risk of failure than others. That does not mean you should not try. I lived the first twenty years of my life with a paralyzing fear of failure. I took the safest route possible with everything. It did not get me where I wanted to be. At the age of 24, I still fear failure at time. I know I shouldn’t, and I am proud to say that I fear it less than I have at any point in my life.
Each of us is constantly on a personal journey. We try to progress from where we are to where we want to be. We cannot afford to let that journey be driven by the “What Ifs” and the “This Might Not Work” feelings. Life will always be full of obstacles. The last thing we need is to contribute to these obstacles. One of my favorite quotes touches on this.
Anyone can achieve their fullest potential. Who we are might be predetermined, but the path we follow is always of our own choosing. We should never allow our fears or the expectations of others to set the frontiers of our destiny. Your destiny can't be changed, but it can be challenged. Every man is born as many men and dies as a single one.
Fear, like all things, is best when it is balanced. Fear of consequences is a good thing. It keeps us from orchestrating our own demises. Fear of failure is a bad thing. You are on the road from where you are to where you want to be. Let nothing stand in your way.
While it is never a good thing to have phobia-level fears, fear can be both good and bad. From an early age, we were all trained to have an instinctual fear of consequences.
If you touch the stove, your finger will be burned.
If you do not look both ways, you might get picked off by that car.
If you do not follow directions, something may be taken away from you.
If you tell her that she looks fat in that dress, you might get slapped in the face.
In each of those instances, we would likely make the choice connected to self-preservation. Very few of us are masochistic enough to choose otherwise. Fear of consequences is both healthy and productive.
Fear of failure, however, is unhealthy. Too often we internally rationalize our fear of failure by incorrectly connecting it to a fear of consequences.
If I don’t do this the right way, something bad COULD happen to me, and my life would be ruined.
If I ask her out, she might say no, and everyone will think I’m a creep and a loser. My social status would sink to an all-time low.
There is always a chance of failure. Some actions have a higher risk of failure than others. That does not mean you should not try. I lived the first twenty years of my life with a paralyzing fear of failure. I took the safest route possible with everything. It did not get me where I wanted to be. At the age of 24, I still fear failure at time. I know I shouldn’t, and I am proud to say that I fear it less than I have at any point in my life.
Each of us is constantly on a personal journey. We try to progress from where we are to where we want to be. We cannot afford to let that journey be driven by the “What Ifs” and the “This Might Not Work” feelings. Life will always be full of obstacles. The last thing we need is to contribute to these obstacles. One of my favorite quotes touches on this.
Anyone can achieve their fullest potential. Who we are might be predetermined, but the path we follow is always of our own choosing. We should never allow our fears or the expectations of others to set the frontiers of our destiny. Your destiny can't be changed, but it can be challenged. Every man is born as many men and dies as a single one.
Fear, like all things, is best when it is balanced. Fear of consequences is a good thing. It keeps us from orchestrating our own demises. Fear of failure is a bad thing. You are on the road from where you are to where you want to be. Let nothing stand in your way.
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
The Age of the Antihero
If you have known me at all over the past 20 years, you are already well acquainted with the fact that I am a huge dork for the WWE (formerly WWF). I can’t get enough of it. I enjoy the current product, but I am a HUGE fan of 1988-1994 WWF. It was a staple of my childhood, and I love the nostalgia associated with it.
The preceding paragraph actually had a point. An important component about professional wrestling (or SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT~!) is its constant good vs. evil, hero vs. villain, “face” vs. “heel” struggle. In late 1980s WWF, there were clear divides between hero and villain, and clear expectations for both. 1980s villains were usually foreign and/or accompanied by the ring by a manager. They constantly bragged about their skills or physique and won matches by nefarious tactics, and the fans hated them for it. The heroes, however, were a different breed, represented by the Hulk Hogan persona. He was blond, muscular, and patriotic. He encouraged kids to say their prayers and eat their vitamins. He rarely did any wrong (in the storylines). In the end, good almost always won over evil, with Hulk Hogan usually at the forefront.
As the world began to change, so did professional wrestling. As the world shifted to shades of gray, so too did professional wrestling. Gone were the clean-cut goody-two-shoes heroes. In their place rose the antiheroes, the Steve Austins and the Undertakers of the world. They did not wear a white hat, and their actions often were not the purest in nature. That did not stop them from accomplishing good and defeating the greater evils, and it certainly did not stop the fans from cheering them.
Let’s shift gears for a moment. My favorite comic book character is The Punisher. He is virtually the posterboy for antiheroes. Driven by pain and anger, he resorts to extremes to accomplish his goals. Sometimes those goals are solely vengeance-driven. Other times, he channels his skills into wiping out a specific brand of evil. His methods are often not pretty, but ultimately he accomplishes some good things.
I wrote all that to say that the world is constantly changing. As much as we would like it to be, it is not always a black and white world. As I said in (the oddly popular) “Living Life by the Rules”, “The concepts of good and evil are sometimes easier to grasp when viewed as ends and not means. It allows for more wiggle room.” The days of Hulk Hogan are over, and that is not a bad thing. We don’t need to be perfect to accomplish good. We do not even have to meet outdated expectations to accomplish good. We do not have to feel compelled to fit an antiquated mold in our daily life or even in our desired professions. Teachers do not need to wear drab clothes and lack a sense of humor. We can even use sarcasm!
It is nearly 2012. The last thing we need to worry about is shaping our actions and attitudes to fit the expectations or demands of others. We need to do good things, and we need to do them while being ourselves. If that means being less like Clark Kent and more like Frank Castle (and yes, nerds, I know I’m mixing Marvel and DC), so be it! The era of the antihero is upon us, and I couldn’t be happier.
The preceding paragraph actually had a point. An important component about professional wrestling (or SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT~!) is its constant good vs. evil, hero vs. villain, “face” vs. “heel” struggle. In late 1980s WWF, there were clear divides between hero and villain, and clear expectations for both. 1980s villains were usually foreign and/or accompanied by the ring by a manager. They constantly bragged about their skills or physique and won matches by nefarious tactics, and the fans hated them for it. The heroes, however, were a different breed, represented by the Hulk Hogan persona. He was blond, muscular, and patriotic. He encouraged kids to say their prayers and eat their vitamins. He rarely did any wrong (in the storylines). In the end, good almost always won over evil, with Hulk Hogan usually at the forefront.
As the world began to change, so did professional wrestling. As the world shifted to shades of gray, so too did professional wrestling. Gone were the clean-cut goody-two-shoes heroes. In their place rose the antiheroes, the Steve Austins and the Undertakers of the world. They did not wear a white hat, and their actions often were not the purest in nature. That did not stop them from accomplishing good and defeating the greater evils, and it certainly did not stop the fans from cheering them.
Let’s shift gears for a moment. My favorite comic book character is The Punisher. He is virtually the posterboy for antiheroes. Driven by pain and anger, he resorts to extremes to accomplish his goals. Sometimes those goals are solely vengeance-driven. Other times, he channels his skills into wiping out a specific brand of evil. His methods are often not pretty, but ultimately he accomplishes some good things.
I wrote all that to say that the world is constantly changing. As much as we would like it to be, it is not always a black and white world. As I said in (the oddly popular) “Living Life by the Rules”, “The concepts of good and evil are sometimes easier to grasp when viewed as ends and not means. It allows for more wiggle room.” The days of Hulk Hogan are over, and that is not a bad thing. We don’t need to be perfect to accomplish good. We do not even have to meet outdated expectations to accomplish good. We do not have to feel compelled to fit an antiquated mold in our daily life or even in our desired professions. Teachers do not need to wear drab clothes and lack a sense of humor. We can even use sarcasm!
It is nearly 2012. The last thing we need to worry about is shaping our actions and attitudes to fit the expectations or demands of others. We need to do good things, and we need to do them while being ourselves. If that means being less like Clark Kent and more like Frank Castle (and yes, nerds, I know I’m mixing Marvel and DC), so be it! The era of the antihero is upon us, and I couldn’t be happier.
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